Difficult to internalize that all the connections are gone

by truthseeker 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • konceptual99
    konceptual99

    Next time you are in the area TS let me know and let's see if we can meet up.

  • Jayk
    Jayk

    My family is on vacation right now. They go twice a year, since my dad was young. I havent been in awhile but we always go to the same place.

  • flipper
    flipper

    TRUTHSEEKER- I totally understand where you are coming from. I was born and raised in the JW cult until age 44 when I exited years ago. I have no connections with old JW friends I used to know ( except a former buddy who's still a JW in another state and his wife who I am trying to gradually awaken to TTATT ) , but I'm quite sure that the former associates who are JW's that I knew in my old geographical area have been told all kinds of wild stories about my life now. Even some JW's in my own family won't talk to me, and I'm just inactive for 14 years , stopped attending, not dfed.

    In time we start making quality friendships with people who see us for who we really are. People who see us for the humane , kind , and loving qualities we possess, not the WT cult characteristics that JW ' friends ' wanted to see in us. We make REAL friends with REAL people , not fake people who put conditions on our friendships. THat's what I've learned in gaining friendships with ex-JW or non-JW people these last 14 years. These new relationships are priceless.

    Here's a song from the Moody Blues that always helped me as a teenager , it may or may not help you but enjoy the words :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKIGGTvp7Mk.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Hello, truthseeker:

    There's a saying about people being in our lives for a reason, as season, a lifetime. We've all experienced it. We personally feel the hurt of losing someone, whatever the reason, yet we, likewise, have exited the lives of many. Perhaps they, too, feel sad not seeing us anymore.

    Strange how in the last couple of days I have reconnected with both non-JW family as well as with school friends of 60 years ago. School friends and I were discussing square dancing lessons we received as elementary students. Lots of laughs there.

    As many of us have written before, we're making "new family." The non-JW family mentioned above still talk to me and we feel affection for one another.

    Best Wishes.

  • steve2
    steve2

    It is a sign of moving on that we have left behind the people we once knew or they have left us behind - for one reason or another.

    Life is painful and, yes, when we go back to old addresses and venues, our losses are suddenly freshened - and what we've lost unsettles and saddens us.

    Change the context here and there - this could be about growing older and grappling with the past.

    I kind of think that even older JWs might look back on their earlier years in the organization and miss the way it used to be - especially when they allow themselves to reflect upon the multiple changes in the organization in recent years.

  • flipper
    flipper

    Very well put Steve. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • truthseeker
    truthseeker

    Konceptual99, thanks for the offer, I may just take you up on that.

    flipper, thank you for your advice and encouragement.

    steve, yes, I agree with your thoughts on this.

    At the time, before I learned TTATF, I didn't think of friendships being conditional. They just were.

  • truthseeker
    truthseeker

    Compound,

    Thats amazing to connect with classmates from 60 years ago! I started reaching out to my mom JW family and it has been great getting to know them after all this time.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I started reaching out to my mom JW family and it has been great getting to know them after all this time. -- truthseeker

    What's ironic, truthseeker, is that for many of us the non-JW family welcomes us back, and this despite many years with little or no contact. Apart from the typical dysfunction of any family, the unreasonable control over your associates as a JW just doesn't exist in "normal" families.

    Continue reaching out. Family matters, even if it's long-lost or "new" family.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Great thread!

    Yes, it is certainly sad - . sad for THEM that they miss out on your friendship!

    You are far better off without conditional friends.

    Sending you much love.

    (I have been in this situation! https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5751633187176448/all-my-friends-organisation )

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