Abortion and post pregnancy

by Mercedes 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • teenyuck

    From your previous posts: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/43543/608508/post.ashx#608508

    I need some advice. Please!!! I have been dating this guy for 3 years. Of those 3 years, he has cheated on me many many times, but I can only prove some. He has cheated on me with the mother of his child, and even young girls that his friends dated that used to come over and hang out with us. He even was hitting me at that time. He even gave me black eyes. It wasn't pretty. Well, things have been going good for the past 6 months, but I still dwell over what he did to me, and I am having a hard time getting over it. A really really hard time. I would dump him, but he has come such a long ways from what he used to be. He is really sweet and sensitive now. But the thing is, how long will this actually last? Every time he hangs out with his new friends and their girlfriends, I feel threatened. Not because I am ugly or anything, but because he has done it sooo much. And he has always cheated on me with people of way lower standards than me. Why do guys do that? The least they can do is find someone better looking to cheat on me with. What should I do? I really love him and want it to last with him, but am I fooling myself? Are there ways to get past the past? Help!!!
    Robdar, u r right, I did love him when he was hurting me, and u r right, I don't love him as much now. I moved away with him, away from my family, and am attending my 4th year of college over the internet. I also am not employed right at this moment which is why I have a lot of time on my hands to think. I also miss my family a lot, and have also got closer to God. My eyes are slowly, but surely, opening up. I just wish that I could get out of the denial stage. I know I got a lot going for me, I even got opted to model. But none of that matters to me. I want a honest boyfriend so bad whom I don't have to worry about while finishing college, one I can have children with, and one I can grow old with and be worry free. I have never loved anyone like I have my boyfriend and that scares me. I don't know if I could love anyone as much as I love him. Everytime I tried to leave him, I would just look at his sad face and then I couldn't do it. Is there even a possibility that he CAN change? At all?

    Then on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/45681/643766/post.ashx#643766

    Is anyone out there living with in-laws? Or just living with your significant other's parents? Well, I am living with my boyfriends father...who is gay. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gays; I actually have a few gay friends. Anyways, his father is always saying things to get at me and piss me off. Everyone keeps telling me to just ignore it, but it is very hard to when he does it 24-7. In the last month, we have gotten into a couple of big fights. Well, the other day, I woke up at 6:30 am to make my boyfriends lunch for him for the day when he is at work. His father started in on me about my drinking and driving. I used to be a real party animal, then a drank and drove and ran my car into a telephone poll, and I am lucky I am alive. Since then, I have turned my life over to God and havent' had a drink in a very very long time. And I feel A LOT better now. But anyways, I told his dad to please quit b/c I wasn't in the mood (not at 6:30 in the morning). He then kept going so I told my boyfriend that me and his father can't live together and this is the reason we need to find our own place. We are just getting on our feet, that is why we are living with his father. Rent runs REAL HIGH!! Anyways, his dad took it in a mean way, which I didn't mean it in a mean way, and walked off and called me a bitch. I then followed him and asked him what he called me. He then got up in my face and was ready to hit me and yelled "bitch!" Then he started going off telling me that I didn't respect him and then started calling me all the bad names girls are called. He even then tried telling my boyfriend that I was staring at guys' dicks (through their pants) when they came over!! Crazy, huh? For the rest of the day he kept trying to yell at me, but I just ignored him. He even told me that I was no saint so I shouldn't act like that. I'm just trying to get better. Lastly, I go to school over the internet, and I had a law test that day due by 1pm, and he shut the phone lines off. That was the last straw. He calls me childish, but look what he is doing and he is 50!! My boyfriend is stuck in the middle, but I don't want to be near his dad or have anything to do with him. How can I do this without hurting my boyfriend? Am I to blame too? (Sorry this is soo long I just need some good advice)

    Then there is this: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/49111/696327/post.ashx#696327

    Can somebody please help me with my problem? I have this boyfriend, who is on probation for drugs and kicking the crap out of one of his friends. He drug me down to KC with him & during that time my car broke down and so I have been sitting at his gay fathers house for 8 months without a car & job. I am jsut going to school online. Well, all my car needs is a transmission and my boyfriend hasn't even helped me. But when his car broke down, he goes out and buys a new camero. What about me? am I being selfish? I have been sittin around for 8 months without nothing just for him. He's the one who is suppose to be in trouble, not me, so why do I have to pay for it? It seems as though the evil people are the ones who get everything. My boyfriend was a drug dealer, he physically abused me, and I seem to be the one paying for it? I'm not jealous of his car, but I feel like he doesn't care about my needs. A person can only sit in a house so long before they go crazy! Any thoughts on this?

    So, my take on it is this: You are in an abusive relationship with a drug dealer, living with his abusive father. You, for some reason, want a child with a man who abuses you and cannot and will not support or help you. From your first posting I quoted, you said he has a child and he cheated on you with the mother of that child. Why in the name of Jehovah do you want a child with a drug dealing whacko? You want advice? Go to a womans shelter for battered and abused women. Find out why you are putting up with this type of abuse and why your self-esteem is so low that you are willing to be be beaten by this person low life. You don't love him. For some reason, you love being abused. Find out why from a therapist. Please, do it for your sake and for any children you might have. They will thank you.

  • Mercedes

    Just for your information, we have been through a lot, so things have changed. I am happier now with myself and he has gone through a lot also. We both have changed a lot of our ways and have opened a new door. Anyone who doesn't think that people can change is wrong. Things did go bad between us once, but now things are better...better than ever. I have turned my life around and so has he. Thank you for pointing that out though.

  • teenyuck
    Thank you for pointing that out though.

    My pleasure.

    Good luck.

  • KGB


    Girl you said it all right there, I would not want that type of relationship at all and if I were to stick around then I would deserve whatever I got from it. Also your pretty good at bringing up old post. (LOL)

    As far as this thread goes I am keeping my opinion out of this one.......except for this care about yourself first, gain some self respect and then you will gain the respect of others.....Good Luck

  • StinkyPantz


    You aren't even addressing the financial issues that come with having a child. You said you can't afford to go see your b/f, and yet you think you can afford a child? Or are you planning to get assistance from the state? I think you have A LOT of growing up to do. PLEASE, wait to get pregnant.

  • Silverleaf


    You wrote: Just for your information, we have been through a lot, so things have changed. I am happier now with myself and he has gone through a lot also. We both have changed a lot of our ways and have opened a new door. Anyone who doesn't think that people can change is wrong. Things did go bad between us once, but now things are better...better than ever. I have turned my life around and so has he. Thank you for pointing that out though

    After reading teenyuck's posting of some of your previous posts, I have to ask you, has your BF gone through anger management counseling and drug rehab? If not, then please do not assume he has made a lifelong change. Things may be better now than they were before, but unless you have both gotten professional help with these problems, the cycle will begin again at some point.

    Please, please, please, do not bring a child into this relationship unless you have had professional intervention. If you think the abortions you had were mistakes, you can't imagine how bad you will feel if you have a child and that child is abused by your BF. That is something you will truly never be able to forgive yourself for.


  • gumby


    You da man(girl). It was nice you remembered her previous post so that proper advise could be given her. You hit the nail on the head and now I want you to be my concubine cuz I need someone to kick my ass from time to time and I'm tired of my wives foot.

    BTW.....your bugs pic is just not the same as your old "puffsrule" pic. I guess we can live with it but I'm still keeping your old pic under my pillow.


  • talesin


  • Berengaria

    Tal what the hell are you up to???

  • talesin

    Hi, B. :D

    Well, election time / debates are beginning, and I thought I would bump a few topics ... the last one was a good discussion of how the American electorate system works, and this one, well, I thought it might be good to get folks thinking about this issue.

    I don't participate (much) in politics anymore. When it comes to American elections, it's hard to have an opinion sometimes as a Canadian (it offends some US posters), so instead of really participating, thought I might just raise a few (what I think are) thoughtful topics from the past. Even if it gets one or two readers thinking ....

    :) tks for asking


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