Abortion and post pregnancy

by Mercedes 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Mercedes

    My life has finally started to get better. I moved back home to go back and finish my degree. I really miss my man now and I really want to move back with him. Problem is, nothing would be right until I finished school. I should finish school, right? I still have 2 years without him then, but I guess love grows fonder when you are farther apart. Anyways, about the abortion issue, I had 2 of them in 2001. I regret it more than anything else in this world. I was young, stupid and scared. Now that I want to get pregnant, I am not getting pregnant. I am sleeping with my man unprotected and nothing is happening! will I ever be able to have children again? My period IS coming every month, so that is a good sign isn't it? Does anyone out there know anything on this issue? What can I do to become pregnant or even check if I can? I need all the help I can get on this!

  • StinkyPantz

    Well I have a question: Why would you want a baby NOW when you 1) are still in school and 2) you aren't living near the father. . . doesn't seem like the prime time to me.

    How about you finish school. . start your career. . get married. . stay married for a year or two and have fun. . THEN have kids? That sounds good, right?

  • Scully

    Lots of things can affect your fertility, including stress (going to school, being separated from your guy, even trying to get pregnant) a change in your diet or changes in weight (up or down), just to name a few.

    Abortions don't usually affect a woman's ability to conceive later on, but if you want to rule that out as the cause, you can go to your family doctor or gynecologist for a check up. In the meantime, just concentrate on getting through school - 2 years seems like a long time I know - but you'll be glad you did. If you really want to get pregnant and have a baby by the time you graduate, maybe just wait the year or so before starting to try again - that way you'll have your baby shortly after you're finished school and can give him or her the kind of attention s/he will need from you and your partner.

    Also, maybe I'm assuming too much here - was your guy the father of the other pregnancies? If not, perhaps the infertility problem isn't yours. Think about that too.

    Love, Scully

  • Silverleaf


    Once again I agree with StinkyPantz - if your life is finally getting better, why would you want to add the upheaval of having a baby into that, especially if you would still have a least a year of school to finish, supposing you got pregnant right now?

    If you had a baby before you finished school, who would care for the baby while you were in classes? If you're living with your parents they may love having a grandchild, but is it really fair to expect them to help you out with that? A child is your responsibility and the responsibility of the child's father. Is your boyfriend ready for a baby? Is he willing to help out financially and be there to support you while you finish school? Can you handle the pressure of trying to finish a degree while you're sleep deprived from caring for a newborn?


  • talesin


    I should finish school, right?

    looking for an opinion on this? I would say yes, do it while your parents are helping to support you. Do you really want to be having kids during that time (it's only 2 years)? Up to you.

    Re: abortions. This should not affect future pregnancy opportunities. Talk to your physician, or if you have a chapter of "Planned Parenthood" in your locale, go talk to them. It's what they do - help people with all reproductive concerns. They are (in my area) the experts on abortion and birth control. Did you have any complications such as post-abortion infection? Is your partner fertile? Get some medical opinion.

    Relax, work through your guilt (you did what was right for you at the time), and best wishes to you!!!


  • Latin assassin from Manhattan
    Latin assassin from Manhattan

    Here's a more important question: DOES YOUR MAN KNOW YOU WANT TO GET PREGNANT?

    If he doesn't know, than chances are the sauce is all over sheets, and not on you.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours


    You mentioned that "nothing would be right until you finished your schooling", then, please, by all means, finish your schooling before trying to get pregnant, will you?

    Many contradictions in your posting. Suspect that you need professional help. Help yourseft first by seeking it NOW!

    Sincerely yours.

  • talesin

    WELCOME, Doubtfully Yours!!


  • Panda

    Abortion won't effect your chances of pregnancy. There may be some small problem , a long term yeast infection, or maybe you need a d/c to make sure the wall cells of the uterus are clear of debris.

    IMO please go to school and start a family when you are in the position to provide for your children. Your guy may not want kids. If he has agreed to 2 abortions thus far I don't see him running toward responsibility. Maybe he can go to school too? Remember that the person you are responsible for is YOU. Take a year of study abroad! Generally your normal tuition will pay for this. It's great to see and live in another culture.

    Best to you, Panda

  • Mercedes

    What is a d/c? If there are debris on the walls of my unterus, it could keep me from getting pregnant? I never knew that! My guy does know that I am want to get pregnant. I juste feel so guilty about my prior decision. I don't understand how I could have done such a thing. There is nothing I could do now though b/c what's done is done. I just don't want that stupid decision I made when I was younger to effect the rest of my life. My boyfriend loves me and would be there for me. It is just really hard to be away from him. I'm sad all the time b/c I miss being in KC with him and our life there. I went to see him and I just returned Monday and it is just really hard. I barely have enough money the way it is and my car won't even make it to KC where he is at. so when we want to see eachother, he has to come get me or come and visit me in my boring town which where we bear a lot of bad memories. I even bake him cookies and send them in the mail along with a card every week. I just love him a lot, and want to start a family with him. Someday, when the time is right, right?

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