07 21 2019 Blondie's First Thoughts (Study WT May 2019 pages 14-19) COMFORT FOR ABUSE VICTIMS?

by blondie 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • blondie

    blondie’s first thoughts review 7-21-2019 wt study (may 2019, pages 14-19 (comfort abuse victims!?)


    EXCELLENT GENERAL WEBSITE: www.jwfacts.com


    This article is designed to accomplish at least 2 things:

    1) Proving in print that the WTS tells others how to comfort abuse victims. So, they seem to know how and that they encourage others to do so.

    2) Imply that not all abuse victims need comfort, perhaps suggesting that only those who are not really depending on their god need it.

    As a victim and a survivor of child sexual abuse and as a jw at the time, I can read this article with a special viewpoint, not that I feel “special” because of this.

    My First Thoughts as reading paragraphs

    First, in paragraphs 1-21

    Paragraph 1-2

    Comparing a scraped knee to child sexual abuse!

    Suggesting that a parent is a credible source of comfort when he/she is most likely the abuser!

    (Side thought: Who play the parent role in a jw’s life, the elders, the organization, their god?)

    What does the WTS consider justice?

    What would you consider justice if you were such a victim, or justice for any child, not just one you might know personally?

    What is swift? Waiting until their WT god chooses to address it, but not before many more children are affected?

    Paragraph 3

    Abused as a child still struggles…as an adult—implies that only some children would still struggle as an adult.

    Why may those—replace “may” with “will”

    Who can provide—replace “can” with “will”

    Paragraph 4-6

    For some adults…comfort may be needed—replace “may” with “will”

    We must first realize that children are very different from…adult—unless a child can choose to be baptized

    If children can’t trust their parents, or the elders, or the organization and their god, who can they trust?

    “Abuse often occurs in the home, close family members and family friends are common perpetrators.”—parental figures, so-called family-like congregation?!

    “can make it hard for that child to trust others, even years later”—“even” years later implies that not all would be affected years later

    (Note where can is used that “will” should be replaced in this article)

    Remember that jw children are told that they cannot trust anyone outside the WTS organization and now the child cannot trust anyone inside that organization.

    Paragraph 7

    If “children are not fully developed in their ability to think, to reason, or to recognize and avoid danger” why are they able to make a serious decision such as dedicating their life forever to serve the WT god?

    Does the WTS decide who is decided to be told the truth, that some people can be lied to?


    Lying generally involves saying something false to a person who is entitled to know the truth and doing so with the intent to deceive or to injure him or another person.

    Child is to blame as if they were able to consent

    Must be kept secret (not to bring shame on the congregation)

    May grow up—will

    Can distort—will

    Unworthy of love—a theme at any congregation meeting—undeserved kindness, not able to measure up, do more, etc.

    Paragraph 8

    Sexual abuse can cause lasting harm—will, implies that only some will be harmed lastingly

    WTS then excuses themselves by saying that abuse is widespread outside their organization, as if that says that jw members should not be shocked to find it inside the WT organization. So, is it clear evidence that people today are living in the last days—if no natural affection is found in the WT organization, that there are wicked men and impostors that advance from bad to worse in the WT organization?

    While their god is said to be fully aware of the pain victims experience, why has the WTS told members like this to “wait on” their god to do something?

    Paragraph 9

    Why use David as an example as one who received comfort? He was they one that violated his friend’s trust by committing adultery with his wife. He was the one who arranged to keep his sin secret by having that friend put to death. He was not the victim in this situation.

    Did David comfort his daughter Tamar, when her half-brother Amnon, David’s son, raped her?

    (Note that the WTS says that their god uses jw members, part of the so-called spiritual family, to comfort; elders, mature sisters (?who have proved able to keep things confidential because which sisters would know ahead of time?) Can comfort really be provided if the abuser has not confessed or found guilty and unrepentant or worse yet, found repentant by 3 imperfect elders who cannot read minds or hearts, and then returned to the spiritual family, like a wolf among sheep?)

    Paragraph 10

    True, the WTS organization is like a family, a dysfunctional family. When was the last time did you feel like elders or anyone in the congregation viewed you as a helpless child, needing protection and nourishment? Like a nursing mother). What tender, gentle words did you hear?

    Paragraph 11

    Are elders the only ones—aren’t the only ones trained to do so, aren’t they the only ones who have access to the situation (or should be), how can a person comfort another person without knowing the source of the unhappiness?

    Mature Christian sisters—proven not to be gossips?

    An elder or two may discreetly ask a mature sister—why one or two (two is better if the elder wants to CYA); how discreet can it be when even elders can’t keep things confidential?

    *The WTS says seeking qualified professional help is a personal decision; the real message is that elders/mature sisters should not bring up the subject nor encourage it; not that jws are always ready and eager to give you advice about any other medical situation (depression is a medical situation BTW)

    Paragraph 12

    Be careful not to pry into matters..prefers to keep private—so why be different now about keeping a confidence, especially with such a juicy gossip item?

    What can we do—or rather what will we do?

    Paragraph 13

    Practical help—notice that this does not mean putting band aid on a scrape. Child sexual abuse leaves a deep injury that a one-time fix does not help. It takes much help over a long time, and setbacks will occur.

    So, a hot meal, a modest gift, or a thoughtful card will not hack it.

    So, the comforter might find it uncomfortable to listen or help-- imagine how uncomfortable it is for the victim to talk about it! Especially to someone who hasn’t had the time to send a card when a close family of the victim’s has died in the past?

    Paragraph 14

    Make feel safe—assuming that the victim has felt safe in the congregation to start with because their abuser was in the same congregation still when the victim is now an adult?

    Yes, their god had an angel to send, a miracle; so, are other jws a miracle from god?

    So jw victims don’t feel safe in a KH conference room? The proverbial dreaded back room that jws talk about. Is it a place of safety or where unsuspecting jws will be jumped with some serious sin that someone unknown other jw has accused them of and then the elders deal with it as if it is a fact?)(Note that in the picture at home, one elder has a suitcoat on the other is sleeveless, and another sister is with the victim (not her husband? Her mother? Who? Some mature sister who up till then knew nothing about it?)

    Paragraph 15

    Be a good listener—after years of not being one?

    More than staying still and saying nothing—ever have some elders do that to you, as if they are waiting for you to confess?

    Why use their god as an example for the elders who can neither read minds or hearts?

    Paragraph 16

    How can (will) we show sympathy (empathy is better)

    To be kind we must have empathy. Empathy goes farther than sympathy, for in empathy we put ourselves in the other’s place, we actually feel what he feels.

    w63 2/15 pp. 105-112 - The Watchtower—1963

    Might say: No child should be treated this way (why not make it personal rather than general?)

    Should the elders ask for the details to determine if the abuser is guilty as in the case of other sex related investigations?

    Is it an interrogation?

    Paragraph 17

    Do not interrupt to give advice

    Do not interrupt to correct the person’s thinking

    Good advice for all so-called jw comforters but especially the designated ones, the elders

    Need to pour out their heart more than once

    Wow, what a concept.

    Rather than trying to provide solutions

    (how often have I heard that men look for solutions not feelings)

    Paragraph 18

    Pray earnestly—why does the WTS add “earnestly” to this? Aren’t all prayers supposedly to be earnest?

    If a person feels unworthy, have the elders suggested that the abuse victim someone how played in part in the “sin”?

    How many times did the elders ever pray with you, use your name?

    Do elders soothe, or beat the sheep with a stick of fear?

    Paragraph 19

    Choose words that console. How many times I realized that elders thought kindness was giving the person a reason to excuse themselves for their sin.

    Paragraph 20

    Past abuse may have convinced them that they are dirty, worthless, or unloved—more like the past spiritual abuse by elders and others in the congregation. Were the victims believed ever, did the victims feel safe approaching so-called mature ones in the congregation; if they did were the treated like the sinner or criminal?

    Paragraph 21

    Yes, again, the WT god sees all, knows all, but the WTS and their appointed representatives don’t seem to think that. They seem to feel that their god does not see what they really think and what they really do. Do they feel like the Israelites did, that god is not seeing, and he has left the land?

    As far as Isaiah 65:17 says, it seems to be that all jws that have not been already lobotomized now will be in the WT paradise.


    I have true empathy with any current jw or ex-jw victims/survivors of child sexual abuse after having read this article one more time. Just remember that the WTS does not speak for god regardless of how many times they have said they do and will say it again. Find a healthy and supportive environment outside that organization, a real place of safety.

    Love, Blondie

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    Thank you for this excellent post. I did not suffer sexual abuse in the cult but am extremely outraged at the way these false prophets are spinning their fake care and concern. I am imagining how unsettling it will be for an abuse victim who goes to a meeting during these articles and wasn't aware ahead of time this will be discussed. I was wondering if these mature Christian sisters will be counting their time as they comfort...( eye roll) Being remotely involved in this as a sister (gasp) seems so far from the whole wt way, this itself should be confusing to those sheep still asleep at the meeting. But as you brought up- they will be so eager to find out the gossip, what a cold dreadful place I am so happy to be free of the obligation to go to!

  • BluesBrother

    The very idea that an untrained elder can read this article and be qualified as a counsellor to victims of past child abuse - would be laughable if it were not so serious.

    If all it needed was reassurance that God and the cong. Stlll loved them and the abuser will answer to God some day, then there would be no need for specialist professionals.

  • hoser

    Encourage victims of abuse to come forward so that a Judicial Committee can be formed is my first thoughts when I read the article.

  • WTWizard

    And I suppose they are too busy looking for those who are worshiping the sun, doing adult fornication including homosexuality, or questioning the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger to do anything useful about this. These are criminal, not judicial, matters. And this includes all forms of abuse, including the form that affects absolutely everyone as part of the structure of the religion--spiritual abuse.

    And, if I hear "That is part of the Sacrifice that we must offer to god", that will permanently turn me off from that god--joke-hova. That thing is always demanding all sorts of sacrifice, and this includes sexual sacrifice as well as slaughterings and spiritual sacrifice. All with the goal of enslaving the whole earth, which is something I simply will not accept. Want to accept "The Sacrifice" in any form? That will (not can, will) ultimately lead to Noahide Law for all (and no Internet, either). It will (not can, will) lead to total enslavement and eventual extermination of the whole human race, one race at a time until the reptilians can claim this planet as their home. That is what these sacrifices are going toward.

  • TheOutSpoken1

    Thank you for this! It's disgusting they mentioned nothing about calling the police, filling a report, testifying on behalf of the victim.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Absolutely Blues Bro, the only qualification there is for being an elder is having blind faith in the Governing body. This has no bearing on being sensitive to the needs of the abused whatsoever.

    Reading your account Blondie, I realise the organisation has lost control.

    It has reluctantly responded to the government's demand for compliance to report abuse cases but dishes up to its flock the same old trite and useless information which has no serious or thoughtful, compassionate consideration for the victims. Instead it is more of the same vapid recourse to the Bible and the way JWs do things, i.e. assume everything is ok if you listen to the Watchtower. What a ludicrous assumption!

    This organisation is institutionally an emotional and religious abuser of children and adults, it is therefore hardly likely for it to be able to contribute to the well being of the sexually abused within its ranks.

    The victims of child abuse require professional help. You might get through it without such but would be much more likely to succeed by forgetting the JW org altogether and receive proper help.

  • Tenacious

    Excellent breakdown blondie! Bravo!

    Common sense versus cult thinking and manipulation.

    I also agree with TheOutSpoken1: NOT ONE MENTION TO CALL THE POLICE!

    I can sum up their message for the entire study in one sentence:

    We don't care where you find the comfort and support so long as it doesn't COST US MONEY!!

    What despicable men.

  • blondie

    I didn't mention calling the police; notice the WTS said going to a professional counselor/therapist is a personal choice. Like the elders are qualified, not. Even Jesus sent the lepers he cured off the priests to get their leprosy confirmed that it was gone. Jesus did not presume to be a professional healer even though he said he was the son of god.

  • ThinkerBelle

    What amazed me with this article is how out of touch most of the witnesses are. A lot of comments about how wonderful Jah ("the org") is for providing the information and staying ahead of the world in these matters. This being a worldly issue we see in so many other churches (i had to cover a chuckle at that one). They are so clueless!!

    I think my favorite is still the week before when they called themselves "spiritual physicians"...

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