My Experience with Wordly Guys

by LaurenM 17 Replies latest social relationships

  • PlatinumFix
    Worldy women aren't much different. How you meeting them in the the first? I think it's all about that maybe - I dunno I'm working it all out too.
  • Mephis
    Sorry, two posts in a day..but I need to vent something: so far my experience with "worldly" guys has not been the best 1. My first guy experience was with a dude who left state and never came back 2. A coworker asked me to Netflix and Chill and I did 3. A guy wanted to sext me all the time but never took me out on a date and I did 4. A guy who took me on a great date but then asked me up to his apartment immediately after and then didn't call me after 5. Finally, another great date, until after the guy texted me asking for nude pics..told him no! So basically I've concluded that I had been giving off a vibe that I had no self respect and that was confirmed by me allowing them to use me as a sex object..but I'm hoping that not all worldly guys are like this, and when I start acting like I have self respect, they will treat me like that too? Is that a good assumption? I'm just so dumb when it comes to non-JW guys.

    Neverendingjourney's right really. Set the boundaries where you're comfortable with having them and with what you want from the date/relationship. Perfectly fine to say 'no'. Impossible to know what vibes you give off without knowing you at all, but self-confidence and self-respect and self-worth are good things regardless. There is a learning process we go through outside the borg. We all make hiccups along the way. I was an absolute (male) slapper when I was first out - desperate, naive, and kid in candy store. Gets easier as you go along and figure out what you want. Trust your own judgement on things. You'll find though that people generally won't say 'no' if you're saying 'yes' in the right ways. So find the point where you're comfortable - whether that's a long drawn out tease and making them work ato be close to you, or whatever really. Just don't be down on yourself or be mean to yourself. If there's changes to make you can see would make you happier - go for it :) Good luck!

  • jhine

    As an outsider looking in my first thought was that JW women are treated like second class citizens , only good for making tea and sandwiches and having children . Does this result in a low self esteem issue for some ? Especially when it comes to male / female relationships , i.e. you do what men tell you cus that's your role in life .

    I may be well off the mark here and perhaps you all will disagree , but it does seem to me that life as a JW woman isn't conducive to really knowing your worth as a person in your own right .


  • brandnew

    I have like 3 jw chicks callin and textin me.....and im df'd...

    And i kinda dont know the language where im at very much...😂😂😂😂😂

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    LaurenM - You are clearly a girl who is very attractive to guys, so give yourself time & opportunity to meet someone who isn't just turned on by your looks. Let them "tune in" to you as a person - and vice-versa.

    Mutual respect and admiration will result.

    Pretty soon you'll both discover if your relationship is based on & satisfied by each other's various emotional characteristics, rather than solely the physical urges which can easily be gratified by any good looking woman.

    You will find someone who is on your "wavelength", and I'll bet it's when you least expect it! Enjoy 2016.

  • V1922

    I have been mentally hurt and confused by dating a JW man worst than a non-JW man. He wanted to be in every aspect of my life at home, come around my kids, ask what I was doing all the time when I wasn't with him. We only "dated" outside the city limits. I asked him what was wrong with being in a public relationship and he said he wasn't ready. I asked around and read about JW policies and I knew why. And it broke my heart that he would lead me on for almost 2 years just for a physical relationship and control me like a husband would but with no commitment.

    A man is a man. Whether he is DF, non-JW, JW, if he is CONFUSED in his own life RUN because he will ruin yours. Know what YOU want first.

  • thankyou


    Yes, "listen" to what V1922 just said. It's true.

    A guy is a guy, JW or non JW or whatever.

    And, not to be crude, but we guys are all the same "down below",

    And, the problem is that the "down below" has a mind of it's own.

    It's only when a guy evolves morally, ethically, spiritually, or whatever you want to call it, that they begin to gain "control" over their sexual impulses.

    I'm not a JW and know very little about it, but from what I've learned recently, this is one area where the JW rules, beliefs, can actually be a big help/protection to you. At least until you gain some experience in dealing with guys.

    I've had more than my share of "fun", and of course it's easy to say this now, but honestly if I were a girl, knowing what I know now, I would not "sleep" with any guy unless he is "husband material".

    If you have "casual sex" you are, among other things, running the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease. Some of these lurk in your body forever and never go away.

    I'm sure you wouldn't want to put your future husband at risk and/or your baby coming through the birth canal.

    Good Luck

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Before giving any real advice, I'd like to know more about the kind of places and/or how you met the guys you described in your opening post. How did the conversation get started? Did you immediately get asked out or was it after having been around them over a period of time etc ?

    Depending on the setting (where when how) you first met, certain assumptions may have been made on the part of the guy without you realizing it. It would be good to know that detail so as to have a better picture of what's going on.

    Also, if the guy seems a bit too at ease when he approaches you or is rather quick about asking you out after just having met, he may be a bit of a player. Although it's flattering to have someone take an interest in you especially if you're at all nervous or shy and you find it's easier for when they are a bit aggressive about it, If he's just going from one girl to the next and you're looking for something more long term, it would be good to figure that out up front by gathering some clues about the guy and how he operates.

    When someone asks you out, you could screen the unwanted types by letting him know you and some friends are going to be at such and such a place on Friday, then saying " Maybe I'll see you there ? " If he's just looking for the here and now, he won't likely be interested. If he does show up and you hit it off and he asks you out again, you could suggest doing something similar. If he's interested in you and not a quick hook up, he'll agree to seeing you any way he can. He'll also be less likely to assume that you're a girl who is more causal about dating than you really are and that he needs to play his cards carefully if he wants you to take him seriously.

    Jerks and clods who ask for or send X-rated pics are a dime a dozen and they're the ones who are the most vocal and aggressive. To them you're fair're supposed to know the score. There are plenty of guys out there who know how to behave but they are more reserved and harder to spot.

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