Do any of you born into the cult feel like your mental growth was stunted?

by rockemsockem 43 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • carla
    carla

    I can't even begin to tell the full extent of someone joining the cult later in life. From being an inquisitive being into being a closed minded (sometimes) arrogant judgmental ass. None of you, who have knocked on doors and planted the seed will ever know the full fear of wife, children & extended family who actually can see the glazed look on a new cult members face and eyes. Yes, they actually change. You may not realize it because this is so normal to you. You will not see how a new cult member begins to treat his loved ones, because these changes are expected and only prove how dedicated the new member will become.

    This is from a non jw never will be and no family members at all in the cult.

    If you are still knocking on doors I want you to think about that damage you are creating in a family that will last years and years, into the next generations. You are not just getting your time in, you are affecting generations of a family's dynamics.

    It isn't just 'born in's' that this cult affects so negatively. The advancement of an adult in his/her development can also be significantly affected.

    In 'normal' life, one is expected to grow and learn and hopefully to become wise in old age, the jw cult stifles any such growth in any age. Let's face it, jw's do not promote 'normal' growth be it physical (no sports, do only jw activities), mental growth (read only jw publications) or spiritual growth (never read any other religious or spiritual avenues, ever). To even question is tantamount to apostasy.

    I would rather have question I can't answer than answers I can't question.

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    My love was raised Pentecostal and experienced just as much control growing up. Believe it or not, I had more freedom in some respects than she did.

    She says it’s our choice to be happy and make the life we want.

    It’s true that in some ways I have disadvantages, but all people have something that limits them. Even if they have never been religious, they have something...

    For born-in Dubs I believe that “not desiring great things for yourself”. ( You know the scripture ) is a major mental block, as well as considering others as “superior” and the nearly neurotic quest to never offend anyone. You’re always fixated on what others think and need and want because you’re not important.

    Even so, once you realize it and verbalize it, you can change it. Also, if you think about it, none of us would be who we are were or not for the experience. We would be someone else, and we can’t really say that we would be better, or not just have a different set of challenges in life.

    If we think of what we have gained and what we know, things that would be impossible to know without having been a Dub, then we can channel that experience and we can literally change the world by opening minds.

    Besides, holding the anger does nothing to the Cult, but it does harm us. We can move on and grow. We can be forces for good without being like the WTBTS. It’s hard to let go and realize that they aren’t changing, and we won’t be the one to make them see the light.

    We aren’t going to save the WTBTS, but we can help those who are ready to change, and we can change our mindset.

    DD

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    Mental growth stunted?

    Not really.

    Not getting to grow up a completely whole person?

    Maybe.

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Not so much mentally stunted as emotionally. However being restricted to a mental diet of slavish obedience to cult leaders does no favour in the reasoning department. Neither does the Watchtower curse put on serious education. But like banging your hear against a brick wall-- the only joy of being a JW was the great pleasure of stopping.

    I find a resonance with Neverendingjourney's comments. There were some minor pluses like public speaking, for males only of course. The worst damage I reckon was to my sex education and attitude learnt at a vulnerable age as a JW. Learning guilt instead of the enjoyment of what otherwise would have been normal and exciting encounters with the opposite sex.

    In summary, being a JW stunts you educationally, emotionally and sexually. If you want a normal life, avoid Jehovah's Witnesses like you would the plague.

  • TTWSYF
    TTWSYF

    half banana says

    the only joy of being a JW was the great pleasure of stopping.


    If you want a normal life,
    avoid Jehovah's Witnesses like you would the plague.

    I say 'well said'


  • blondie
    blondie

    Like hitting yourself with a hammer, because it feels so good when you stop.

    I had many other factors that impeded my progress in some areas. But with awareness and help from others, I have progressed past those lacks in my life.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice
    Rockers -
    Do any of you born into the cult feel like your mental growth was stunted?

    Sadly, I don't have a non Jobo version of my childhood to compare it to.

    I think I have a core personality that even the propaganda of the paedophile protecting corporation leaders could undermine.

    Well. Here I am. An Ex Jobo that rarely thinks about Jobo stuff....until I come on here.....not sure why I do come on here (no disrespect meant), but I really don't give a monkeys about the Jobos anymore. I think they're weak minded sheeple like I probably was. ...but then so many people are sheeple no matter their belief systems.

  • jws
    jws

    I don’t know that being raised a JW affected my mental growth. Emotional, surely.

    one of my first great fears was Armageddon. Before I stepped foot in kindergarten, I knew I was going to die at Armageddon because I sometimes fought with my younger brother. And back at that time, we knew it was going to come any day.

    It also, I believe, stunted the whole dynamic with the opposite sex. We lived in an area where all of the elders were very serious about the whole dating thing. And the congregations. If you asked a girl out it was the functional equivalent of “will you marry me”? Those who broke up got bad reputations. They’re not serious. Dating is for marriage, etc. plus you had to marry a JW girl so you’re sitting in your congregation wondering which of the 2 or 3 girls your age is going to be your future wife. And then, even if you did like somebody, some super spiritual dudes from Bethel could visit and the girls would swoon. It was all messed up.

    But the jws had good points. Plus my parents were a little lenient on some things. Never started smoking or doing drugs. When I started programming at 16, meetings gave me the perfect boring downtime where I could think on work problems and dream up solutions to complicated algorithms. Giving them code competitors and similar businesses did not have.

    I accepted a lot of bs and believed it. Even defended some of it. But for the most part, that was about things I didn’t really care about. When were the 144000 sealed? Who gives a F? I always believed the earth was millions of years older than they said. Evolution made sense. I was into computers. Anything else i didn’t care to much about. You tell me something, I’ll file it away. And not think about it. But I didn’t care. So yes they taught me the wrong things, but those weren’t hard to undo. Mentally, I still qualified for MENSA. So I wasn’t that hurt.

  • Jazzbo
    Jazzbo

    My mental growth has always been just fine. You have to accept personal responsibility for you life and there will always be obstacles to overcome no matter what. Being born in is just another obstacle.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Yes!

    What was the question?

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