so confused!!

by whatisthis12 12 Replies latest social relationships

  • NJ501
  • Giles Gray
    Giles Gray

    A direct answer to your first question is no.

    For you to be his 'worldly' girlfriend, without him being rejected by the members of his religion, you would have to continue your relationship in strict celibacy (the expected standard for all courting JW couples).

    If you have violated that standard already, they are expected by the religion to shun him for being immoral.

    Even if you were achieving this 'high moral standard' your relationship with him would be frowned upon and seen as a bad example to the other members.

    I'm sorry to have to say this, from what you have written so far, your relationship with him is not looking good.

    Everything indicates he still believes in the religion.

    In the world of JWs, relationships come second to the religion. They will prioritise the religion over a marriage partner, a close family member and a long term close friend.

    There are people on this forum who are totally cut off from their family, because the JWs put the religion first.

    I don't necessarily suggest doing this, not at least until you understand this religion a bit more, but if you want to know how solid your relationship with this chap is, tell him you have been talking to ex-members of his religion, and see what his reaction is like. Tell him about some of the negative things you have learned about the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    If he responds defensively, you will know your relationship is in trouble. If he agrees with you, your relationship stands a chance.

    While he continues to believe in this religion, you will always be in second place in his life. If this religion can challenge the bond that parents have for their children (as you have witnessed first hand), then his relationship with you as his girlfriend is even more at risk.

    I wish you the best.

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    @ whatisthis12:

    You need to think long and hard about your boyfriend. It seems like he is not being completely honest with you or himself. Please don’t set yourself up for heartbreak!

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