Can someone help me

by stephanie61092 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • stephanie61092

    A girl I've known my entire life who supported me from a distance after I was disfellowshipped sent me this message on Instagram today:

    Let me know when your back... I'm unfollowing you on IG & snap. I love you. Be decisive. Remember our hope. Ask Jehovah for more faith. 😘

    Should I reply? And if so, what should I say? I don't post frequently and I don't post "anti-JW" things. This is a girl whose own husband was DFed for over a year. I'm upset because I always appreciated her silent support. It's just really upsetting :(

  • Tallon

    Hi Stephanie

    I'm no expert however, since your friend has always supported you from a distance, I would ask her the question; what has changed? Then you can take things from there.

  • Sevan

    Remember that she may very well care about you on her own. Remember that if it were not for the cult, you most likely would still be friends. Remember that her mind is not her own. That is a sad place to be for any human.

    Most of all, be thankful to be free. To follow your own conscience. To live a life of love and joy.

    Know that if there is a God, that being is absolute love. That being is not so small and petty as we humans and the major religions make that being out to be.

    The religious philosophies have many important lessons and are important culturally. However, they also reflect the values of the humans that wrote them. Just as the philosophies of jw org reflects the values of the humans that write them. By placing their words in the context of an Almighty God, they ascribe weight and authority to those words, rather than allowing those words to stand on their own.

    If the jw org practice of shunning stood on its own, few would follow it because it is ludicrous and unloving on its face. However, by subscribing God to this concept, jw org has hoodwinked many otherwise decent people into practicing that which is thoroughly indecent.

    Continue in love, kindness and compassion regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof and you will be alright. You will have a beautiful life.

    I firmly believe that if there is a God, that being *is* absolute love and that all things done in love are godly. That we are here to love and help our fellow beings now and not tomorrow.

    That if there is a God of pure love, that being will not punish you for not knowing all the answers or for being mistaken. How can we be expected to know the right answer with a million different philosophies and such limited information? I believe God is greater than that. I may be wrong. I guess I'll find out one way or the other in the end.

  • Hadriel

    @Steph it is likely the recent district convention has caused this change in attitude.

    Don't remember why you were DF'd but you can petition her emotional side. If you are not practicing what she considers sin ask why she would abandon you. Use the word abandon. Ask her to explain how 1 Corinthians 5 applies to those who are no longer practicing sin?

    Ask her if she considers you the AntiChrist. 2 John 10 when it speaks of not greeting a person it is speaking of the AntiChrist. in other words a person who doesn't believe Jesus came in the flesh.

    Tell her you want to assure her you would never forsake the sacrifice of Jesus.

    These are perplexing things for JW's because if you read the scriptures carefully there honestly isn't a basis for shunning you to a degree WORSE than a tax collector.

  • Scully

    It's called "emotional blackmail" and it is endorsed and promoted by the WTS.

    They give talks at Conventions(tm) demanding Loyalty(tm) to the Organization(tm) over family ties and friendships. And then people start receiving messages like the one you did, drawing a line in the sand: "We can't have a relationship because you aren't a JW / don't go to Meetings(tm)/ are Inactive(tm)." In order to restore the relationship you are expected to return to the JWs.

    It's noteworthy that this type of manipulation is a hallmark ofemotional abuse. Is that the kind of friendship you want?

    Your friend just did you a huge favour. If you feel the need to reply, just tell her "Thank you for showing me what an emotionally abusive, manipulative 'friend' you really are. Take your emotional blackmail and stick it where the sun doesn't shine."

    Good riddance.

  • committeechairman

    It's the convention this year. Heavy, heavy content about absolutely cutting off DFed ones, even by parents and very close relatives. Almost reverses the 1980 position about "necessary business" with family. I would not be surprised to see major revisions to policy to elders about relatives and DFed family members, after which I predict something of a witch hunt about it. They are super serious this time. It is more grasping at straws as they are desperate to determine why there is a decline in the organization. I think the pornography move to make it a DFing offense was the first move in that strategy. The line of thought is "there must be massive wrongdoing in the organization and Jehovah's spirit is being removed" so they go after it.

    Pathetic, really.


  • LostGeneration

    "there must be massive wrongdoing in the organization and Jehovah's spirit is being removed"

    Too bad they don't look in the mirror and see their coverups of child sexual abuse as the cause.

  • Landy

    Take her advice. Be decisive. Tell you'll be there for her when she manages to free herself from a controlling religion.

  • Finkelstein

    Should I reply?

    Yes and tell her the emotional and friendship blackmail she asserted is not appreciated.

    The JW organization is now and was always a lying deceptive corrupt cult operated by a religious publishing house or in other words a commercialized false prophet, if I wanted to be a true Christian I would never join or vow myself to a false prophet like this.

    Add, I hope you wake up one day as well to this deceptive and tainted Gospel made by corrupt devious men.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions
    Take her advice. Be decisive. Tell you'll be there for her when she manages to free herself from a controlling religion. - Landy

    I don't like this -- LOVE it!!!

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