Did a current or ex-JW help you to awaken?
Was there something that was said to you that got the wheel turning in your brain, that caused you to start waking up to TTATT, either by a JW or ex-JW that you didn't know was awake?
Not something that was said to me and made me think differently. I had no need for learn anything new or different. As a born in I was in fact quite fed up with people trying to rule my life based on some interpretation of something. I couldn't care less about what they teach. The actions, attitudes and behavior of their so-called spiritual paradise were speaking volumes to me about how full of --it they are.
What did make me start the process of fading had more to do with the way I was treated. The final straw was some JW bitch that started yelling at me because I wasn't shaved. I was in the state where I started realizing that I needed to walk away from my own family and life as I knew it, and I was in that part where it was sinking in for the first time. I was thinking that I needed proof that they really cared about me, that if they were the loving, caring spiritual paradise that they claim to be, that they will just show it. The next day, I went to help cleaning and fixing things at the KH, and that's when that bitch started giving me all this --it about me being in the KH (not at a meeting, just helping with cleaning) without shaving. That was indication enough for me about what I could get from them.
I'm trying to think of things I can say or ask of my current family members still in that may help them to start seeing the real truth about the organization. They think we're still in.
My suggestion is instead of telling them things about the WT or the JWs, to ask them questions. Then listen closely to their answers. Do you know what to ask them? Here's what I'd ask them:
1. Who was the first JW in the family?
2. How did that person came to become a JW (they love, love, love giving their experience, and it's in your best interest to listen closely since that's what's going to give you the information that you need).
3. Ask about how their decision to baptize came about. When, what do they remember, etc. Again, you will be looking for certain important information.
4. Ask them about their most important and fond memories and experiences that they have had so far as JWs. (I know this is starting to sound like you want to be converted back to JW, but no, there's a lot of important information that you need, plus this has proven to be a great approach).
After that you will have the best and most effective ammunition. Here's what you can pay attention to:
1. Their real reasons to join the JW. Still baffles me that people start from the point of discussing the JW teachings first when they want to help others out. Think of this: when people start taking bible studies they know nothing about their teachings, so obviously, what they teach is not the first thing that makes them interested. That information can tell you what made them interested in starting bible studies, not what they learned in the bible studies. That's what you need to address.
2. Knowing the first JW in the family identifies the person who made the most influence in the rest of the family. It is important to recognize the influence that such person had in making the rest join and leading them to where they are now. There may be a sense of loyalty to that person, or not (sometimes that first JW ends up leaving first too). That information can give you the "who" about the one that started the JW venture, or who they look up to. This piece of information may or may not be relevant.
3. When people share about their journey as JWs, they love being listened to. They feel comfortable talking to you, and they put their guards down. Remember, as brainwashed people, they are led to believe that being listened to is not about them, they think that their Jehovah is speaking his word through them. Capitalize on it. either way, they feel good, and you want them to be relaxed; you don't want to be confrontational.
Also, the content of what they say speaks volumes about the things that matter to them and the things that make them stay in the JWs. That information is what you need to know that speaks to them, so you can concentrate in addressing the things that they consider important. That's what you should address first.
You may want to talk to them in their terms, and about things that speak to them. The best way of doing that is by first finding what that is. You also want to make them feel comfortable talking, so confronting them about some doctrine may not be the most effective way (that is, if you have tried it and hasn't worked). BTW, I'd say it's a mistake to think that because they are JWs that what speaks to them is obvious. It isn't. You won't lose anything by asking anyway.
My brothers suicide in 1998, followed by 9/11/01, and then the coup de gras to my JW faith: Gilead in 2005 had the opposite effect on me the GB wanted. I saw the rot. Following a failed (successful?) missionary assignment, I read CoC followed by a very intense spurt of reading Randy Watters, and off I went into the happy world of being an independent mind. With the requeset bumps in the road. Which is cool, you've got to go through that.
Let me offer an opinion I feel is some learned wisdom: Whatever you decide to do or not do relative to the "anti JW" thing, don't let what "they" think stop you or start you. It is ok for this to be about you, and your self discovery.
We all need to find our own way. There is only one of me and one of you. Be you, do you, and live your life unapologetically, without regard for JW approval, or anyone else's approval for that matter. (not suggesting a self destructive lifestyle of course).
What might be a trigger to leave for you or me may not be a trigger for someone else. I think it is instructive to observe what the leadership of JW's fear the most. It isn't flip flopping, or failed prophecies, etc. It is a person being an individual and thinking for themselves. That is what scares them the most. They feed on group think. I feel you must encourage anyone "in" you care about to think for themselves. Easier said than done, but it seems to me to be the best, most effective way....
Did a current jw help me to exit? Not intentionally,
Most people go along to get along never thinking about what their being taught and how its effecting their lives. One usually has to go through something that effects them emotionally before they start to wake up.
Did a current or ex-JW help you to awaken?
It was active JW`s.
Who Were All on The Same Path...
My awakening was through a number of events over a period of time.
My depression was making meeting attendance harder and harder so missing meetings and no longer getting the constant indoctrination probable allowed me to start thinking negatively about the org and my bros and sisters "imperfections"
Being "counselled" by an elder not to help the Africans that washed up on our beaches by giving them money, clothes or toys for their children (I was living in Fuerteventura at the time) but to "only offer them Bible studies in case they come into the truth for the wrong reasons" so we went after dark and did it in secret and that seemed so wrong to me.
Shortly after I was really busy just having bought the company I worked for and working really hard but meetings were not the same any more after discovering an elder while I had been ill had instructed the congregation to "leave me alone for a bit as I had gone off the rails" felt a tad unloving.
Then I had a masked man come thru my bedroom window and attack me and we fled back to UK. I found the KH and we went to the memorial and I told my bros and sisters what had happened and where we were staying. That was 2009. No-one came, called or messaged and I am still waiting.
For me injustice and missing meetings got me out but it took a whole year of searching before I started to doubt it was "the truth" was the problem not me.
Reading Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz was what finally freed me.
In my view, the only way a person can be influenced by ANY such point or argument is if they've already begun the process of waking up themselves. Otherwise it will just get shut down. Waking up is internal first, something that happens or that they come across that happens to push a button that is preexisting inside of them, nobody else can plant it there. If you can find their individual weak spot, maybe you can plant a seed in it.
No JWs - current or otherwise - helped me decide to fade.
All the other accumulated things, though? I can't count that high.
The elders were fantastic!They lied repeatedly and in fact one said, " so,he lied,everyone lies." ( by the way I am not a lair and work hard to be honest) Then they hid a pedophile and threatened to remove my family's implied invitation for pursuing legal steps to protect ourselves from a member of the cong. I don't know how long it would have taken me to wake up if it wasn't for my elders..
A few degrees of separation:
The inactive bro who had taken me out in service for the first time sent me something from Randy W. I knew the former JWs featured in the article; I couldn't believe friends from Bethel had left the "Truth."
Eventually, I wound up here, clicking onto a link from Randy's site.