by tepidpoultry 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Many years ago I met an older man in the ministry who told me he was a baptized JW years ago, when I met him he was an alchoholic and had girlfriends, I told the elders, two came by and they told me to treat him as a regular worldly guy, my question is (I know this is a fuzzy area) about how much time needs to go by before someone (me for instance) would be looked upon as a non JW worldly person?
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It totally depends on the mindset of the body of elders in each congregation.
You'll know if your elders are zealots or are just trudging along and going through the motions.
Regardless, all you have to say to any of them is "that there's nothing you can discuss with them at present, but thanks for their concern,"
Wish you well.
There is no set number, but if you just pull back and never let them know who or where you are, within a few years almost everyone will have forgotten about you.
Depending on your situation, this may or may not be easy. If you're single without family or much of a position in the cult, literally 1-2 years may be sufficient to no longer be known as a JW, grow a beard or color your hair or move away from the area. But then it also doesn't matter to give in your resignation from the cult, you've got nothing to lose.
If you have friends and family that's still in and "faithful", you'll lose them even if you don't get disfellowshipped, there is no winning there. I haven't gotten disfellowshipped myself but I'm still known as a staunch apostate, last time JWs came to my door they literally ran away (almost 4 years later)
Thanks,
I have family that's in (they all live at a distance), they tend to be by the book so I'm just trying not to give them an "official" reason to shun me if possible,
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For me it was 5 months of daily attempts at contact-- email, voicemail, visits, drive bys, notes in the door, text messages, letters, notes and crayon drawings from children. I ignored every. single. one. And then dead silence until the next Memorial when I received an invitation in the door. I was home. They didn't even knock.
A couple of years later I freaked out when a two-elder hit squad showed up on my door step with the new 'silver sword'. I have PTSD. Enough already. I sent a letter of resignation by way of my lawyer. I like boundaries. I am happy to exchange pleasantries should we cross paths in town, but no random visits in any official capacity. I threatened to sue them if they announced my name from the platform. Apparently they took me at my word. Still no public shunning.
my question is (I know this is a fuzzy area) about how much time needs to go by before someone (me for instance) would be looked upon as a non JW worldly person?
It is in fact a fuzzy area. As others mentioned it really depends on many factors. In my case I moved to a congregation where no one knew me and then faded. I also moved a lot. Then there's my "F-U" attitude towards them, so in my case they were actually very eager to pretend that they don't even recognize my face.
I have family that's in (they all live at a distance), they tend to be by the book so I'm just trying not to give them an "official" reason to shun me if possible,
Sorry to hear about the things you have to go through to manage having a relationship with loved ones. Question: are you comfortable with half truths and lies? The easiest way is lying to them or mislead them to believe something (to that they are very well conditioned by the WT). If not, just try to keep things general and vague. That way they may have some sense to leave you some space. I don't think that there are easy answers.
All accurate comments given above.
So much will depend if your BOE "has an axe to grind". In most cases, they are busy with their own lives and happy to leave you alone if you aren't causing any problems.
I sometimes wonder if it has to do with when you were baptized. Pre or post 1985 when they changed it to a vow to follow the organization.
My wife and I have been out over fifty years, no DF no DA. My still in cousin who is 70 calls me for a pleasant chat every once in a while.
My niece who was born 7 years after we left shuns us.
Since I consider the JW's a death cult I really don't want anything to do with them.
