by Bonsai 18 Replies latest jw experiences
I am sorry for your losses and I understand how you feel. One of my sisters died in October 2015, my aunt in March and another sister (who was my best friend) died on Sunday. There were 8 of us kids, now 3 are left, and all of my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles are dead. It's weird, shocking, sad, lonely and numbing. You are right, though, life is precious, and way too short.
Take Care
AB
Once you hit midlife it seems there are more and more losses in your life; people, bodily integrity, unfulfilled and unfulfillable dreams and ambitions.
People who can accept these with grace seem to age well, but those who are bitter and can't come to some kind of resolution about these losses have a rough time in their declining years.
I hope you all can find some peace dealing with these very difficult things. It can be hard work.
GrrT: "--Once you hit midlife it seems there are more and more losses in your life; people, bodily integrity, unfulfilled and unfulfillable dreams and ambitions.
People who can accept these with grace seem to age well. It helps to realize that each moment you live is the only one you have (at that time). make your life now an important one. If there is more, and not like wt promises, but really more, treat as a remote possibility. count your life now as your crowning achievement. Even your death can be an important event, you making place for the next carrier of life's importance.
When you are young , death is something that happens to old people ,or anybody else , you don`t even think it could possibly happen to you
When you reach the mid 70`s and you still wake up in the morning it is a bonus .
You now see people a little older than you dying off and some that are even younger than you kicking the bucket .
You, now more than ever , appreciate the life you had and the life you still enjoy , knowing full well your time on this earth now limited.Make the most of it while you still can.
I`m sorry what you are going through Bonsai , but that`s the reality of old age that we are experiencing.
And as you rightfully say their is nothing anybody can say or do to change it .
The WT pie in the sky dream of a paradise earth promised by GOD is just so cruel .
Take care
smiddy
Bonsai I'm sorry for your losses. Your wife must be struggling to cope with the loss of her mother, which is a deep loss. My cousin died from cancer a few weeks ago and it seemed so wrong because she and her husband had just bought a cottage in the country and made friends with a lovely group of people in the village.
They'd worked so hard all their lives, he a fire fighter and she a teacher and he was about to retire early so they could finally take some time to themselves. Now he has to carry on without her.
I loved your post, it echoed a lot of the things my cousin wrote for her funeral. Value every minute of your life and don't take any of it for granted. Do all the things you long to do, don't put them off. Thanks for sharing that and my heart goes out to you and your family. Carpe Diem, seize the day.
Thanks for your comments everyone. It was really tough with my mother-in-laws death because i was very limited in the things I could say to encourage my inactive wife. There were no promises i could make, no speech about being or going to a better place. All I could tell her was that her mom was in peace and finished her life with honor and dignity. All i could tell her was that her mother lives on in her mind and her heart and her memories now.
It was even harder explaining to my four-year-old daughter that her beloved grammy was gone forever. Reality is painful, but i don't want my child to have false hope. The quicker she learns the realities of life, the quicker she can build up the kind of mental toughness that we born-ins could never build up. We always lived for some distant, vague promise. I want my family living for today and treating each day as rare and precious.
When I was waking up, I found death and the prospect of being non-existent forever a bitter pill to swallow. Now however, I'm coming to terms with my own mortality. It makes me appreciate life more, friends and family, this beautiful planet and everything that I have and not take things for granted. How lucky am I to win this lottery of life by the throw of a dice - It was to be me and not the countless others who could have been in my place. I hope when the time comes for me to leave, I would have done my bit to make this world a better place.
The "guaranteed resurrection" talks, with their flawed logic, are very upsetting for a great sister whose 3 year old grand daughter recently died of cancer. The resurrection hope proffered by wt does nothing to ease her pain of loss. She is too "in" to see the cruelty in wt leading people on like that. I am preparing very slowly to introduce the idea, that her grand daughter's early death might be nature's way to give better health to her other future offspring, and that she should concentrate on the good times she had while the precious little one was alive. Perhaps she can entertain the two hopes at the same time?
I value each day much more now that I don't believe that there is life 2.0 after death.
It's just another harmful influence of religion, where it makes people believe that it's ok to have a sub-par life now, because God will complement that with a great after-life.
Every single human should look at this life as a precious and brief moment of existence in the universe and that they should protect it and care for it and extend it as much as possible. Instead, religion tries to make you think this is simply an arduous trial period, to some other grandiose phase, which doesn't really exist.
When you find yourself going, when you find yourself dying, the world doesn't stop for you and there is nothing you can do - there is nothing anyone can do.
It's pointless to dwell on this. It's just reality. The universe doesn't owe you any extra meaning. Each of us wants to believe that we are special, but we are not. We are just expendable matter, so on a final analysis, the goal of life is simply to take a bite our of the world, and experience as many things as possible.
