Back after a week away from the board, and surprised to see this thread brought back up. (Although it was already pages back! -HA!)
Still mad, but getting to a better place with it. I realize that my parents had good intentions, but heart-dead as Lady Lee is talking about on another thread tonight. I think that is one of the things that makes me really angry. There was a great deal of potential there to be caring people with true parental love for their children. But it is replaced by zeal for the Organization. I'm angry that they let themselves be sidetracked from being good parents because of "serving Jehovah," and I'm angry at the Organization for stealing my parents' love and changing it into something else.
Ultimately though, I'm pursuing whatever I think can help me to find my own peace, balance, happiness, whatever one calls it. After all, I am an adult, they haven't provided my room and board in many years, and they can only affect me so far as I give them the ability and control to do so. So nowadays, they don't get so much opportunity to get me riled up.
Hey....I saw this thread....went to your first post......and guess what? I actually remembered reading it many days ago! For me sweetie, thats damn good!
You know when I read the part again about your dads "sorrowfull sigh's when he speaks and your moms long jawed sad eyes "what have we done wrong stuff'? Well thats when you need to be as chipper as hell! They hope you will talk sad and unsure and sometimes many ex-dubs do. I'm not saying to pretend your happy if your not.........show your possitive convictions happiness part if your not already. That seems to impress witnesses. They are shocked when our lives don't fall apart when we leave them and we are happy for the decision we've made, and our life goes on just fine.
Anyways....maybe thats what you already do......but I had to tell you anyways cuz I'm a bossy Bastard!
Haha, Gumby. S'ok to be a bossy bastard! Actually I think they currently don't know what to make of me. I'm pretty cheerful most of the time, and won't be apologetic. When they invite me to the KH I just say in a very neutral way "I'll keep it in mind." Then go on with the conversation. I think they are confused because I don't act all sad and frustrated. But I've been playing an act to them for years. Maybe the farther away from it all that I get, the happier I will be, and the less of an act I will be putting on. Unless I'm "outed" for "apostacy" though, there will have to continue to be something of an act. Letting them think I am "stumbled" is very hard, and probably a whole other subject. I wonder how many other "faders" just let everyone think they are stumbled? Is that a mini-muss type question?
Unless I'm "outed" for "apostacy" though, there will have to continue to be something of an act. Letting them think I am "stumbled" is very hard, and probably a whole other subject. I wonder how many other "faders" just let everyone think they are stumbled
I think if you can get out in a way that will not get you Dfed or disaccociated will be the best since you have loved ones that you do not want "cut off" from. To tell of your convictions I think should be told in a manner that will not lable you as an apostate. I am a total hpocrit in this and did the opposite but I was already DFed. I soon later began to realise the error of the "truth" and then vocalised it. If I had to do it again....I'm not sure how I would handle it but I would have been much "smoother" about it and tried to keep my family on talking terms and not shunning terms.
