Date a JW student

by Renee86 10 Replies latest social relationships

  • Renee86

    Can a Witness date and court a JW student if he intends to get baptized?

  • a watcher
    a watcher

    Frowned upon but allowed.

  • BoogerMan

    Yes - but the JW better be prepared to get a rough time from the elders and others.

    A JW with "privileges" in a Cambridge congregation began courting a girl who was studying. (later baptised)

    He was warned that if he did not stop SITTING NEXT TO HER IN THE KH, he would lose his privileges!

    He told them to keep their "privileges." The couple got married after her baptism.

    "Loving shepherds" - LOL.

  • Renee86

    When I was studying, I was told many JW's are even married with someone outside the congregation

  • truth_b_known

    A simple flow chart to answer the question -

    Question # 1: Is the person baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses? If yes - go to question #2. If no - No. They are not to be married.

    Question # 2: Is the person in good standing with the congregation? If yes to both #1 & #2 it is alright to marry them. If no - No. They are not to be married.

  • a watcher
    a watcher

    Renee, I'm not sure that 'many' marry outside the congregation, but some do. I married outside of it twice so that I could keep the Elders out of my marriages. Both marriages were full of ups and downs, but I don't regret either one. They were what I needed at the time.

  • FedUpJW

    One can marry someone intending to be a JW, however IF they do they will likely be marked and soft shunned as "bad" association. It has even been "recommended" (and we all know what that means in JW land) that one should not even marry a recently baptized JW until enough time has gone by that they have proved themselves worthy of being considered exemplary. Even Top-shelf Tony yapped about the poor choice a woman would make marrying a JW that was not appointed by 23.

  • blondie

    Can a Witness date and court a JW student if he intends to get baptized?

    Renee, this is it, until you are baptized, jws considered you are not a jw, even if you are studying. Thus dating an unbaptized person even if they are studying with jws, is really dating a non-jw, which is frowned up and can result in a general talk given to the congregation during the mid-week meeting, that talks about that kind of dating and why it is not something others in the congregation should imitate. In a Watchtower in 2004, it said this: " A person who is studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses and who is making fine spiritual progress is to be commended. However, he has not yet dedicated himself to Jehovah and committed himself to a life of service and sacrifice. He is still making necessary changes. He needs to complete the major changes involved in becoming a dedicated, baptized Christian before contemplating another major life change, such as marriage.

    Would it be advisable for a Christian to pursue courtship with someone who seems to be making good progress in his Bible study​—perhaps with the intention of waiting until he gets baptized before marrying him? No. The motives of a Bible student could well become confused if he is aware that a dedicated Christian wants to marry him but will not do so until he is baptized."

  • smiddy3

    True story:

    I became interested in the JW`s via a workmate in early 1959 ,as a 20 y.old with a girl friend .I shared my new found beliefs with my GF and she followed me in accepting a Bible study .We planned on getting married but we couldn`t get married by a P.O. in a KH unless we were baptized.

    There were very few KH`s in Melbourne at that time ,the hall / meetings we were going to was a rented hall in a Melb, suburb.

    In November of 1960 we were both baptized at a CA and our experience was a part of the program by the bro./ workmate who first contacted me as an incidental witness given at a workplace to fellow workers.

    In Feb, 1961 we were married in a neighboring Kingdom Hall by a Presiding Overseer who came over from the other side of Melbourne to conduct the service.

    I just thought I would share our experience.

  • FFGhost


    JWs "can" do a lot of things. But there are many things that will result in varying degrees of ostracism.

    Dating an unbeliever (in JW-world, an "unbeliever" is someone not baptized as a JW) is pretty high up on the bad list.

    A JW wouldn't necessarily face "official" sanction (unless naughty bits are rubbed together) but any JW "dating and courting" an unbeliever would face an increasingly difficult set of "unofficial" punishments from the JW community, designed to encourage him/her to break it off.

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