Brainwashing left a stain

by Fadeaway1962 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Fadeaway1962

    Hi one of my JW parents died recently of old age , after decades of brainwashing of the dead are just a sleep and if we are good we would see them again in paradise .

    I fully understand now you have one life and should make the best of it but finding it difficult at the moment to get my head around it .

    It's just a bit of a rant but your the only ones that I can try and express how I feel and be able to understand after the years of brainwashing how it affects my thinking process.

    Thanks for any help and advice.

  • Phizzy

    Welcome here Fadeaway1962 !

    First of all, I am very sorry for your loss, it hurts, both my JW Parents died in the last few years. Even though we were estranged because I walked away from the JW's, I still loved them dearly.

    I was born in, many decades ago, and stayed in for nearly six decades, so the Mind Control was strong in my case too. I used a number of methods to combat it, because it is multi-faceted. First, I decided that as I knew the JW Org had lied to me, I would lead a Facts and Evidence based life, facts and evidence that would bear any scrutiny. That blew all their Doctrines and teachings out of the window. All that lingered was feelings, first of distrust of what they call "worldly people", also of fear of Blood , and slightly, of Demons. These feelings were expunged by fact checking, and then by actively challenging them, by making friends with a good number of what I call normal people, by Donating Blood, and just doing many things, and saying many things JW's would disapprove of, with a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

    I found that as time went by, all traces of JW thinking, and of JW personality faded away, totally. I am now the Real Me ! and happy with who and what I am.

    I hope this may be of help, ask away here, we are here to listen, and good luck !

  • eyeuse2badub

    What Phizzy said--Amen!

    I was also a basic born-in mom "got the troof" when I was 4-5. Over 5 1/2 decades of brainwashing. Reality is sometimes hard to accept but because it's real, It has it's on comforting solutions to life. When I found out that Santa Clause wasn't a real person, I was hurt but I moved on! You'll move on also and realize that living in that watchtower fantasy was just that and no more!

    just saying!

  • Phizzy

    eyeusetobeadub Great Minds Think Alike ! I was only thinking last night that for us XJW's the experience must be similar to normal people's with the Santa thing, you grow up ( we were childlike while in) and realise it was just a silly belief, and move on , to a more adult view of life.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    The influence and personality is in our memory. It is natural to want to tell them things we gave done, get advice, share. We always miss the person. Christendom sends them to heaven, others have them come back as bugs, athiests face reality, witnesses wait for never land

  • FedUpJW

    athiests face reality

    I am not an atheist, but having both parents die in the last three years I know, without a doubt, there is nothing else. No heaven, no hell; just a 3'X3'X6' hole in the ground.

    I admit I think there is a God, but God doesn't care about this speck of a planet we call earth, and he cares even less about us as puny humans. That's why we must make the most of this life. It's all there is!

  • Italiancalipso

    Sorry for your loss. It is devastating feel, no shame to feel are human and emotions are natural.

    My two cents...

    I'm not sure if you are a believer in God or not,but when I experienced a big loss and I was not anymore JWborg, this help me:

    Even without God, and a specific hope you can see clearly how much impact they had on you, and the fact that you will bring them with you all the time.

    Hope it helps...

    Warm regards


  • Sigfrid Mallozzi
    Sigfrid Mallozzi

    Sorry for your loss.

    Yes, WTBTS was able to convince us to invest totally into the future idea that if we obeyed them it meant a big payday in the future. They are worse than a TimeShare.

  • Fadeaway1962

    Thanks everyone for your kind words

    Being a born in 50 plus years like many here it's just proves the continued indoctrination can have on our thinking it's only been a few years fading but still a work in progress.

    Italiancalipso welcome and thanks very interesting article , one of my kids is studying physics at uni and always says physics is everything and everything is physics ,

    I don't believe there is a god anymore the evidence I have considered is saying to me that nothing is out there but the wonders of the universe.

    Thanks again everyone

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    I was a born in JW and was carefully "inculcated" (their term) from birth and was trained to think that being "inculcated" was a good thing even something to be proud of.

    The notion of the resurrection became real to me when Mom died. She was raised and spent her young adulthood in Europe and had a beautiful accent and way of expressing herself that was unique to her. I realized that in the new system, the country that she came from would no longer exist and we'd all be speaking one language and eventually we'd all sound, look and think the same for all eternity without end. Visiting one region of the world would be the same as the next and eventually we'd be sick of everything. "Let's go visit Mexico". "Why bother...we've been there literally ten thousand times and they do everything the same way we do".

    I realized that if my Mom came back, she would meet my children as adults rather than having had known them since birth and they would view her as just another person because they hadn't bonded with her since birth. All of our photographs of the past would either have been lost in Armageddon or would have been disposed of because they were memories of the wicked system of things and probably would not approved for viewing.

    Then both my Wife's Father and My own Father, died young unnecessarily because of the JW imposed blood issue and that was the beginning of the end for me. I began to ask myself if the hopes I had for the future were really mine or someone else's. Is wanting to live forever simply an example of human greed and shortsighted thinking that I'd been taught? Why would living forever give life any more purpose that it has already?

    What I'm trying to tell you is that many JW's are living a poorly thought out fantasy that keeps them going and when things get real, they either have to keep themselves from thinking too deeply or they have to face the painful realities of life that they've been avoiding. Just try talking plainly to a JW and you'll see how upset they get.

    You are going through this now and you'll have to be patient with yourself for a time because it's a process that doesn't happen in a straight line. There are many ups and downs, twists and turns until you come to grips with you own mortality. Much of the residual JW thinking will crop up especially in stressful times. Even atheists who were once Catholic, call for the Priest when on their death bed, just in case what they were taught in their youth, is true.

    It's very freeing once you've rid yourself of other peoples ideas about life because your life takes on a new value and you are free from the shadow that hangs over you that exists when you're trying to avoid reality.

    These days I don't try to claim to have any answers about the big picture things in life the way I did as a JW. I have a wait and see attitude and tell myself that if God exists and has something good in store for mankind in the future, there's no reason I shouldn't be a part of it as well and he'll make sure that all is well.

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