Some things that have helped me in my journey...
Since a major part of what the Watchtower Society does, involves the twisting of the real meaning of the Bible and specific verses... It makes sense to me, whether a person has some kind of belief in the Bible or not, to go to the source of the twisting, get it's real meaning, unravel the the knots and chains, and walk free.
For me, a huge part of the unravelling process has been spending time in the Gospels.
The Pharisees...
I used to read the Gospels, and listen to audio Bibles, and every time the Pharisees showed up, I would sign/groan/mockingly laugh:
'not them again '
Then, a few years ago, I suddenly realised that I was like them.
Luke 18:9-14
Matthew 9
Matthew 23
John 9
... Those passages stand out to me...
That is how the Watchtower Society teaches it's followers to be.
Everyone varies with how much they take on that mindset...
It can lead to a judgemental, unloving and callous attitude to others... To pretty much everyone on the planet, since the nastiness is mainly directed at 'worldly people' ~ everyone who is not in the cult.
It can also lead to developing
Narcissistic and/or Sociopathic traits...
I very much recommend learning something about those things...
It can lead to having a judgemental attitude... Always pointing the finger at others, but never looking at ourself...
One day, a few years ago, after years of working on that, I suddenly realised that practically every time I was judging someone else, all I was doing was projecting what I was like, onto them...
That was quite an eye opener...
I then understood the meaning of the saying that goes something like :
'when you point a finger at others, three of your own are pointing right back at you'
On the matter of Projection, I think it works the other side of the coin too...
When we see a good thing in someone else...
Yes, sometimes it isn't there, it can be wishful thinking and/or projection...
That's not what I'm talking about here... I'm thinking more along the lines of
'it takes one, to know one'
... Like looking into the mirror...
We recognise the good thing because we are already familiar with it... It is in us too.
A nice guard against putting others on a pedestal, and putting ourselves down...
This leads me onto
Equality...
In the cult, there are the
'elders, anointed, overseers, governing body'...
People who the main group of the
'great crowd '
look up to, consider themselves to be beneath...
The Bible says the opposite, it talks about equality and that we are all equal brothers and sisters...
Proverbs 20:10
Matthew 23:8
James 2
James 3
Proverbs 26:27 ~ opened my eyes to one aspect of Equality...
When a person seeks to make their self out to be above others, no longer walking together on equal terms, on level ground... They dig a hole for the other person to fall into, to try and put them down...
Like in
Luke 18:9-14, they're basically saying :
'I'm so wonderful! So much better than others...
Here, I'll prove it...
Look at that person...
s/he is this/that...
There they go... Down that hole I just dug for them...
Not like me, standing here above them... I am so wonderful'
And yet, the reality is... Superiority and Inferiority are just an illusion... And the person addicted to that false sense of Superiority and the false high that they get from it, is too drunk to realise that they just fell down that hole they dug...
The false high wears off quickly... Then they continue digging the hole that they are in, to keep getting their fix...
I have found that when someone is stuck like that... There is no point saying anything... They are impervious... May as well be blind and deaf
Good hearted people can be stuck like that...having picked up those traits along the way...
They might listen to someone who they really trust /respect...and/or come to an understanding by some other way...
I believe they will, one way or another... Just a matter of time...
I found that there is no getting away with it... If I have a bad attitude with some people, that then comes out in how I treat those I love... It poisons the well...
James 3 :10-12
...I then give the salty water to the people I wanted to give fresh water to...
There's just no getting away with it, equality is where it's at, for me, it's the only way that works
... So that's what I endeavour to do...
Proverbs 11:27 ~ this was another verse that helped me...
The Watchtower Society has quite a fixation on Satan, demons and 'worldy people'...
It's all part of seeking to manipulate and control it's members. And to create an
'us against the whole world'
... Seige mentality
To look for bad, even when it isn't there... Creating a paranoia about people and even inanimate objects... That they are being controlled by demons, for the sole purpose of getting people to leave the cult...
Everyone varies with how much they took on that mindset...
It can lead to paranoia, negativity, complaining, nit picking, anxiety, depression, mistrusting, assigning bad motives and falsely accusing others, whose actions and motives where good or neutral
For me, the antidote is Proverbs 11:27
And Gratitude...
I found this video helpful :
"A Good Day" With Brother David Steindl-Rast
On the channel :
A Network for Grateful Living
The truth...
The idea that only Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth...
This can lead to the idea that, if a person/book/movie are wrong about one thing, or disagree with you on something that you believe to be true, then they don't have the truth, and are to be rejected
I took that on board and only in the last couple of years came to the conclusion that,
I don't think any one person/book/movie has the whole 100% truth... They, and I, will be right about some things and wrong about others... It's up to me to discern and sift through what is what
Related to this, is the attitude that a Witness is the teacher, since only they have the truth and all 'worldly people' don't know what they're talking about...
This can make a person arrogant, unwilling to listen and learn... Why should they, if apparently they have the truth and know it all?
I think the sum of my knowledge is like one grain of sand on a beach that stretches into infinity... And that's a wonderful thing... Learning is an infinite adventure
The need to always be in the role of a teacher, to always be looking for a way to teach and give someone 'the truth', and to save them from being destroyed at armaggedon, can also lead to missing out on real human relationships... Where talking, listening, giving, receiving, caring and sharing are where it's at.
Open and honest communication and being our true selves is also a key ingredient in our relationships... Something that is hindered if we are always playing the role of teacher and saviour... As well as putting on a pharisaical act of being clean and righteous as well as being scared of doing anything that will bring reproach on the Watchtower...
The good news is, we can overcome the influence of Jehovah's Witnesses and recover our true selves...
I've always believed that our true self, at our very core, is unchanged
People notice this, when they get older and say things like :
'I don't feel like I'm the age my body is... I feel like I was when I was younger '
.. Yes, I am not my body.
I am me, my spirit.
And people who have been through horrific things have noticed it too...
That no matter what happened, their true self, at the core, was untouched, that it was untouchable, unchangeable...
Traits, behaviours, experiences etc have had an influence on me, for the better and for the worse...
I can look at them and decide what to keep and what to get rid of...
Some things take time, commitment, determination and persistence to get rid of...
Like climbing a mountain...
It is so worth it
We are also then better equipped to understand, empathise with and help others in similar situations...
Some examples of that, away from cults...
We learn a lot about Narcissistic and Sociopathic problems...abusive controlling relationships...things that are quite common outside of cults, as well as in them.
And the universal phenomenon of feeling the need to conform to the group your are in...
Social Conformity...
No matter how disgusting or absurd the groups' behaviour is...
Something worth learning about...
I found this video helpful :
Brain games - Social conformity
On the channel :
Ahmad Shdefat
It's also worth learning something about
'Confirmation Bias'