Why some will never leave the org.

by JH 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mr Lebowski
    Mr Lebowski

    No one ever makes a change in their life until they feel that the prices of their actions are greater than the benefits. Anyone who stays a Witness (or a Mormon, or a Republican, or plays computer games, or goes to work five days a week) is doing it because they are getting something out of it. Many Witnesses feel that operating within the Witness framework is the only way they know to be effective and feel free from the stresses of everyday life, and if they feel that way, they're right - it is the best they know.

    At some time, we reached that price/benefit breaking point regarding our association with JW's, and we chose out. (True, many of us reached it un-consciously, getting tossed out rather than making a concsious choice to leave, but we still made a choice. If you feel this does not apply to you and you are a victim of unfair treatment, you probably were, but you wouldn't care unless you probably really want back in, so why are you reading a board like this? )

    Immediately afterwards, many of us began to righteously share our new beliefs/lack of beliefs (often with a sense of righteous indignation that puts off others), and then we often got even more indignant when we discovered that other people weren't in the exact same position in their lives that we had just reached!

    It's easy to remain proselytizers and just change the message. It's harder to decide that everyone makes their choices at their own time, and that our diatribes won't change anyone's mind. As long as they are getting the bennies (acceptance, a clear set of rules for "earning" acceptance, a feeling of belonging, and a feeling of being right when everyone else in the world is wrong), they will pay the prices, no matter what we say - hey, how long did we do exactly that?

    Come on - I was in it for twenty years before deciding to leave, but now that I have, am I supposed to expect someone else to change their minds immediately just because I just did? That's me acting foolish, that's what that is.

    It's not about your making a case, it's about individuals getting to a point in their lives where they actually want more than they can get as a Witness. Righteousness is annoying, no matter what position you're taking.

    The best way to convince others that there is happiness outside the Society is to be happy, healthy, and successful. If you seem like a pissed-off grump all the time, who's gonna want to be like you? And hey, if you are happy, healthy, and successful, even if no one follows you out, guess what? You'll be happy, healthy, and successful, dummy ! :)

    You can lead a horticulture, but you can' t make her think. (Dorothy Parker)

  • stillajwexelder

    I agree with all that has been said -- and they will always quote the apostle Peter at you "Lord you have sayings of everlasting life --where else is there for us to go" that is why no matter what lies are told etc. some will never leave the truth

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    To my ex brother in law, the elder ship was everything. He would mentally and physically abuse his family and that was alright. The only thing he was good at was putting in the hours, banging on doors and giving public talks. He was only relieved of his duties when my sister finally divorced him. His response to her was, "You ruined me because I can't be an elder anymore". As far as I was concerned he like the prestige of being an elder.


  • Ariell
    I like to ask JW's wahy they serve Jehovah and the num,ber one answer is .... "I want to live forever on a paradise earth."

    Hmmm, I thought it was because he is God and worthy of our worship!

    I agree that most JW's serve God for the prize. However, I would have to say the same thing for all other religions. Do you think there would be as many Baptists, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, etc. if they didn't think they would be going to heaven, reincarnated, or some other promise of an afterlife. Think of all the cults that have come and gone. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Name one religion where people worship simply out of love for their higher power, with no reward.

  • Mr Lebowski
    Mr Lebowski

    so young to be so cynical. :)

    some do, some don't. trust me, not all religious folk are narcissistic - and no, i'm not religious.

  • Mary
    his response was this: What does anyone else (any other religion) offer that is better than what the Witnesses offer?

    This is the EXACT same response I got when I questioned my one sister on this very subject. She knows full well that the whole 1914 thing is bullshit, she knows about all the lying and backstabbing that goes on in the congregations, but whenever I corner her, she replies "it give you an excellent social life and I don't know of any other religion that can give you a better way of life than this one."

    That's easy for her to say. She works part time, has a husband who makes good money, so it's absolutely no problem for her to make it to all the meetings and go out in Service Wednesdays and Saturdays all the time, which of course, ensures her popularity in the congregation, but I said "what about the poor single mother who's husband has just died or taken off with a pioneer and left her and the kids desolate? If she has to go work full time, maybe even at two jobs to support her family, how is the demands of 5 meetings a week, Service, study, study, study a "good way of life" for her? Especially as, now that she's single, she'll be excluded from just about everything that goes on in the congregation. Plus, she's be regularly harassed by the elders about missing too many meetings because of her job."

    It's easy for sisters who don't work outside the home and who have husbands to provide for them, to enjoy this bullshit blessed social-circle-of-life and like my sister, even though some might realize that there's many things wrong with the Organization, they are not willing to give up their social prominence, power and 30 years of their life by leaving.

  • NeonMadman
    Because of this I can point out all of the failed prophecies I want... all it does is validate to them that they are in the "true" religion... because it does change. They see change as a primary mark of true religion.

    Good point, and very true. What they need to see is, not that their religion has made changes per se, but that the changes are inconsistent with the image they project of advancing light getting brighter and brighter until the "day is firmly established."

    Show them that much of the "new light" has come about because of the failure of false prophecies.

    Show them that the light is not progressively brighter, but blinks on and off, e.g. the inhabitants of Sodom being/not being resurrected, or the meaning of the "superior authorities."

    Showing them that there has been change is certainly not enough. But if they are honest when confronted with their organization's history, they will see that their leaders have been 'blown about by every wind of doctrine,' and that there is no consistent progression to greater truth.

  • stillajwexelder

    this also isa great thread

Share this