Dear Female ExJWs

by Simon 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Listener

  It is any Youtuber's right to decide what they want on their channel. There are dozens of reasons why they may choose a particular panel without jumping to the conclusion that they are misogynistic or deliberately excluding females.

  None of these ex JWs are professionals so choosing a panel isn't necessarily focused at presenting a discussion that encompasses a wider dynamic. Their choice of participants may simply be a matter of who they can best relate to and feel comfortable in taking a topic in the direction they wish or choosing people they personally feel can give the most input on the same wave length as themselves.

  The different time zones of participants and availability is another consideration.
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  WingCommander

  WTF? Has this become the ex-JW Reddit page now? Has "wokeness" finally reached Simon's forum? God, I hope not!!!

  I hear that shit all the time....that this place is nothing but an old white male Boomer Trump echo-chamber. It's usually from Leftist beta fem-boyz with man-buns and purses over on Reddit itself. Something is linked to here, and they get all "Triggered!!!!" because it doesn't align with their narrow Neo-communist vanilla worldview. Ohhhh myyyyyy!!!

  How would one even "exclude" anyone on these forums? They're fuggin' PUBLIC. Either someone will post a a response, or they won't. What, are certain females complaining that they're not getting enough responses or attention? GTFOOH!!!

  I've been on here 20 years and highly appreciate and respect posts from Blondie, LadyLee, Gracie (RIP), Leolia (spelling, hasn't been around in a long time), NinaCrumpet (again, MIA for years) and others.

  People complaining about being "triggered" or "imma being excluded" should go eat a bag of dicks. So sick of this stupid BS. Grow up ya whiny little chumps.
  
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  stan livedeath

  
  
• 

  Simon

  I generally try to treat people well and be as easygoing as I can, with the understanding that I can't please everyone but I can decide who to engage

  I go with the "if I can't please everyone at the same time, I wonder if I can annoy everyone all at once?" approach, LOL

  Seriously, yes - you learn that some people aren't worth engaging with. My OP was partly driven by that as well. Here's what happened:

  I saw someone asking on Twitter something along the lines of whether she should speak to her husbands / boyfriends son and ex-wife, who were both JWs.

  I suggested that just because JWs shunned people, doesn't mean we have to (simply because they are JWs). At the same time I noticed the poster whining about someone blocking her, that someone being a guy who seemed uber reasonable. I didn't know why.

  Whoa, she goes off claiming that all JWs support child abuse and were bigots. I thought that was a bit OTT and suggested that wasn't the case and that it was itself bigoted to judge them all individually based on membership of a group. I also suggested that being angry was understandable but being filled with resentment wasn't a healthy way to live.

  Of course, that went down well. But I know she knew she was wrong. How do I know? Because she deleted her original tweets leaving just the one of me out of context. Then starts another topic bemoaning how she'd been "counselled" by some white male ex-elder type. Not even close to what happened.

  So next time, when some female exJW solicits opinions, am I more or less inclined to engage, or more likely to wonder if they are a cray-cray? That's how it works.

  The other thing were tweets that LloydEvenaParody made. I honestly think they lost the plot and have gone after people who simply don't deserve it. Cappytan seems to be one of the most reasonable of people and it's totally possible to both wonder about how much criticism of Lloyd is the right amount vs too much and be supportive of those threatened with litigation. He just seems to be a decent person pondering what the right balance is. How can you turn that into something to be judgemental about?

  So LloydEvensParody - I've enjoyed your parody but I think you've just diluted your criticism of Lloyd himself. Now he can look at that and say see, crazy person ... because that is what it looked like to me and I don't think I'm unique. The fact that you don't like that I "liked" someone else's reply about it that summed up the gist of what I felt is exactly the sort of thing Lloyd does. Please, take a step back and think about what you're doing and why.

  My advice is to use that account for what it was created for, and not to seek out enemies that are not there or try to divide people over something that simply isn't a thing and doesn't need to be turned into a thing.
• 

  Simon

  If I can’t make a panel on my own merit, I don’t want to be there. I do not believe in feminism as it is sold to the public. I believe true equality comes from earning your way, not to “balance the books” so to speak.

  I think this is key. Women shouldn't demand to simply be token representatives. They should be there because the host wanted their views and they can contribute.

  The women who do that are way more powerful than those who insist on simply being a tick in a box.

  I hate the fact that men feel that dealing with women can be a mine field, although I accept that in some cases this can be the case. Conversely, as with men not all bring elders, not all women are a mind field.

  As I said, it was partly driven by the recent interaction I had. In a few weeks something else will be the most important thing that I think needs to be talked about (like when the Subway person doesn't tesselate the cheese slices properly and puts them all on the same direction, c'mon people, are we apes?!)

  Not all people who make ignorant, careless or uninformed comments are racist, bigots of phobics.

  Not all men are misogynistic and not all women are emotional basket cases.

  It is my opinion that the whole world, and this community included, needs to take a chill pill and either agree to disagree, ignore behaviour that doesn’t fit the values and beliefs, (yes it is possible to scroll on without commenting!) hear others opinions with curiosity rather than “prepare for rebuttal or attack”, be quick to apologise when we are wrong, not readily compare others behaviour to traits of the cult, and realise that just like other people, we have faults.

  The world is becoming ever more polarized, especially online, and people think they can talk to people anyway they want and throw out serious accusations such as "bigot" or whatever "...phobic" is the current word of the day.

  We all make mistakes and none of us like being called names. Perhaps there is merit in the saying “treat others the way you would like to be treated”.

  It's not nice to be accused of what most people think is something serious and most people's reaction is to defend themselves against such accusations, which is natural to want to "clear your name", but we have to remember that no one cares or remembers what some nobody says about us online. Most people see that they are crazy. Increasingly, no one cares about the labels either because they are so over-used.

  Now let me get off my soap box and go and find my pitch fork

  Oh no, Aussies are tougher than me, even the women. Time to head to the hills and hideout!

  Seriously, Kim, you seem like a perfectly balanced, easy-going person that is non-scary to interact with.
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  LoveUniHateExams

  I do not believe in feminism as it is sold to the public - feminism has now probably outlived its usefulness, at least in first world countries.

  It was necessary in the 70s, but not today.

  If you go through all the Western countries, most women don't self ID as feminists. In the UK, US, Australia, etc., only a minority of the women are feminists.

  I believe true equality comes from earning your way - quite right.
  

  Thing is, crazy third- and fourth-wave feminists don't want equality - what they actually want is special treatment.

  So, we get crazy feminists cherry-picking data such as 'only a third of STEM workers are women', which totally ignores the fact that there is gender imbalance in a whole range of jobs.

  (Think about it: do you really think there's a 50-50 gender representation in brick-laying, oil rig operatives, sewage maintenance workers, fire fighters, stunt drivers, nurses, beauticians, etc.)

  My take on the current situation: feminists are failing many many women by implying that they can have it all - hands-on motherhood to 3 kids and making senior partner in a law firm or becoming company CEO. And it's bullshit advice, if we're being honest.

  The world's a tough place - to accomplish anything worthwhile you need to make sacrifices.

  The good thing is that most women are far too sensible to be completely taken in by current feminist bullshit
  
  
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  KIMSILVIO

  They should be there because the host wanted their views and they can contribute.
  

  I completely agree. Viewers can then choose who they wish to watch. Anyone who doesn’t appreciate a host that “caters to the boys club” (as is stated often in the community) can then vote with their feet. Everyone has a choice 👍