College and EX-JW Discontent....Questions and Stats

by teenyuck 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • Valis

    Do you know if your parents had a college fund set up for you?

    Hell no! They were so in debt to the IRS, that was never an option...I sometimes thing right around 75 they we hoping it would all end and they wouldn't have to worry about all that...

    Did you have a secret stash of money you were going use to pay for college?


    how were you and your family going to fund your college education?

    NOT...*LOL* My parents were wanting me to pioneer and not once mentioned college to me.

    The academic issues are equal to the financial. If you don't have the grades and qualifying classes, you are not going to Harvard, Ohio State University, Northwestern, or other top tier schools.

    Eh well, I didn't do too good in High School, but after spending some time and making good grades in community college I got a full ride to University of Texas. Community college is a great way to fix your high scool also refocusses the adult and reattunes them to the learning environment.

    Did you take the SAT or ACT?


    Did you get good to great grades in high school?


    Were your parents focused on academics and did they really push you to get all you could from the educational system?

    Yeah right....both my parents worked tons of hours then went to meeting and out in what was the question again?

    4. Were you prepared to go to a community college, take out loans, ask for grants, work to fill out the financial picture; all to pay for your education?

    Did all that on my own...but not as soon as I left my family....I had to get some of the wildness outta me first...eheheh

    I will probably never have some big college fund for my kids, but they are smart ones and when the time comes to get collegiate, I'll be right there with them, filling out forms, co-signing loans, helping them find scholarships, arranging letters of recommendation and pulling whatever string I have to pull...And lemme tell you...after working in colleges for more than 10 years you learn the "ways of the world"...*LOL*

    For those of you looking for scholarships and such try this site...


    District Overbeer

  • teenyuck
    When I went to college in the sixties, graduating in 1969, I went to a public universitiy in Tennessee. It wasn't expensive. Didn't need Pell grants, or financial aid, nor any of those other fancy things like student aid and such. I graduated college not owing a cent. So some of your premises just don't work there Ace.

    Francois, I am not clear. I went to college, initially in 1980. It wasn't *expensive* by today's standards, however, going from free, in HS, to paying $40.00 per credit hour was expensive. At the community college, it cost approximately $1400. a year. I had Zero. I made minimum wage at a picture frame shop. $2.65 an hour. It cost about $2500. a year to go away. My mother had no money to give me. My father had a new family and told me to get *Fuxxd*. I worked, applied for grants, which I was eligible for based upon my mother's income, and took out student loans. How is this "fancy things"? Why don't these premises work?

  • Valis

    teen....Francois hasn't a clue about how much college costs these days....don't worry about him blathering on and bragging as usual...if it isn't how smart he is, it stuff like "I got a degree without paying, what's your problem?" There is no way in hell that today you can go to college for free unless you have grants and financial is possible to do so without going into debt, but you have to plan very carefully and get all your ducks in a row.


    District Overbeer

  • bittersweet

    When I was in 8th grade, I had all my college prep courses picked out for High school, because it was my plan to attend college. My grandparents, both teachers, had made it known to me that they would help me pay for college. Then in steps my JW mother, adamant that I will not be going to college, forcing me to go to a Vocational school so I could learn a trade and pioneer fresh out of school.She got in arguments with my Jr. high guidance counselor, who said I should not be forced to go to Vocational school, that I was Harvard material, and that I had loads of potential. She didn't care. The JW higher ups were against college at that time, so I was NOT to go.

    In Vocational school, I was a straight A student, and I recieved plenty of awards ( for academic and shop ). I still wanted to go to college, but I knew it would be harder because I didn't have all the right courses.My mother told me in no uncertain terms that I would not be attending college. I did not want to dissapoint my mother ( which is why I stayed a witness so long! ), so I gave up on the idea, and got married at age 18 and started to pioneer.

    I had the chance, the desire, and the funds to attend college. It was because of the JW religion, and my fear of dissappointing my mother, that I didn't go.

    I am planning on attending our local community college next fall. I have a low paying job, and three children, but I will make it work. I still have the chance, and the desire (ok, not the funds, but financial aid is available ) to go back to school. My future is in my hands.

  • lisaBObeesa

    Growing up JW, I NEVER wanted to pioneer after high school, even though it was pounded into my head all the time.

    I didn’t believe in the Jehovah's Witnesses, but I DID believe, unfortunately, the JW idea that one didn't need college to make a good living. That anyone could do just fine without it. I believed that it is was a lie that college is important. That it was really a silly waste of money! I really believed that!

    And while I left the JWs as soon as I turned 18, I carried this little bit of misinformation out with me, and it took me years to realize my mistake.

    (I’m going to school now, at 34 years old.)

    1. Would have gone on to collge....

    I think I would have gone to college if not for the JWs because I was a very good student and enjoyed school, I lived for school and worked hard for my A's…until I was about 16 or17 and realized it was a stupid waste of time. If I had not been told, and believed, that it was valueless, I am sure I would have gone all the way.

    2. Would have graduated college.....

    See above.

    3. Would have a *great job, earning lots of money* if they had had the opportunity to go to college.

    Not sure if I would be earning lots of money, but it would be a hell of a lot more than I earn now!!

    Do you know if your parents had a college fund set up for you?

    No, because I didn’t NEED college and college is a waste of why would they save money for it??

    Did you have a secret stash of money you were going use to pay for college?

    I didn’t have any money, let alone a secret stash of money!

    how were you and your family going to fund your college education?

    Again, my family believed that college was not necessary, and in fact that it was a bad thing. (Dangerous for my ‘spirituality’ and all that.) They certainly were not going to fund my college education!

    Did you take the SAT or ACT?

    No. Why would a take them if college was just a waste of time?

    Did you get good to great grades in high school?

    Yes, I got A’s….. until I was 16 or 17and I realized it didn’t matter because I wasn’t going to college, and since I already knew everything I needed to know LOL!!!!!! I actually believed that!!

    Were your parents focused on academics and did they really push you to get all you could from the educational system?

    Not really. I could read, write and balance a checkbook, so they figured I was set for life!

    4. Were you prepared to go to a community college, take out loans, ask for grants, work to fill out the financial picture; all to pay for your education?

    Never crossed my mind.

    If you had a scholarship offer, please provide details....what college was it at, what discipline/acedemic area was to be studied, etc.

    I didn’t receive a scholarship offer, but let me tell you about my friend who did. 4.2 gpa (possible with lots of AP classes) for 4 years of HS, was elected president of the Honor Society, but had to step down because the elders said ‘no no!’…As a senior she was elected valedictorian…had to turn it down. Then she was offered a full 4 year scholarship to MIT. In fact she was offered several scholarships…and she didn’t even apply for any!! She turned them all down to pioneer.

    Today, she is still a pioneer, married, working, and just got done putting her HUSBAND through college.

    I will say:

    The JWs tricked my parents and I into deciding against going to college. We should have been smarter.


  • JT
    She didn't care

    i have to somewhat disagree with you on this point, what you mom told you was repeated to literally millions of jw kids, so i don't know if it was as much of a matter that she didn't care as MUCH AS IT WAS

    "She actualy CARED"

    YOU in my view she like millions of other jw parents truly cared and wanted the best for us, problem is they were basing thier views on wrong information- most jw parents felt that while college in an of itself may have not been wrong DUE TO THE SHORT TIME it was not WORTH WHILE TO PURSUE

    i recall many elders and co saying point blank the problem is not college per say as much as it is you are wasting your time and if the dogmas that wt taught WERE TRUE then it would have been a waste of time an energy, of course we all know now that wt was wrong-

    in her desire to LOOK OUT FOR YOU your mom like mine and so many others actually ended up giving the SHAFT TO US AS THEIR KIDS

    and as always the memory of a jw is not good, if you ask your mom about it she just might say what so many other jw parents say IT WAS YOUR CHOICE NOT TO GO

    sorta like the 1975 mindset WE NEVER THOUGHT THE END WAS COMING IT WAS just some over anixous bro who made a few comments about "Something mihgt happen in 75 and some of the friends ran with it, but you see they were serving jah with a date in mind


    but we know that is a lie cause we all were there for the dramas, talks and articles that came just shy of telling you that jah would strike you dead for going to college

  • Jankyn

    Well, I was raised a JW, and in 1978, I did graduate high school and I did go to college and I did get a degree and a job and a life...HOWEVER, in order to do so I had to choose education over my family. I took college prep courses in spite of being considered "spiritually weak" with all the ostracism that entails, and enduring the "silent treatment" from my mother at home for 3 and a half years while being forced to attend stupid meetings for hours at a time that could have been put to use studying for algebra, geometry, calculus and trig exams (which for some odd reason always seemed to fall on Friday morning, after those blankety-blank Service meetings and Theocratic Ministry Schools), and being marked as "bad association" for joining the drama club for crying out loud, and...

    Okay, you get the point. And I get yours, too, Teenyuck. With a B.A., M.A., and ABD for my Ph.D., I know that it's not something everyone can do. But the resentment has a basis in reality: the JWs/our parents put up all sorts of obstacles that made it an effort of gargantuan will to even TRY to further ourselves. That's what I'm mad about.

    See, I did all those things, and didn't have any family members at any of my graduation ceremonies. Their loss, I guess, but it still hurts.

    Jankyn, hopelessly overeducated for any useful pursuit.

  • razorMind

    1. Would have gone on to college....

    Yes, I would have gone on to college. Teachers in my younger school years wanted to send me to a school for the gifted, but of course that was a no-no with the folks.

    2. Would have graduated college.....

    Yes I probably would have graduated college as well.

    3. Would have a *great job, earning lots of money* if they had had the opportunity to go to college.

    I'm not sure about making *lots* of money, but I would have had a much better job than I have actual career doing what I have talent in (art) instead of just working to keep a roof over my head. I would probably have travelled around the world as well...

    4. Saying you were deprived of college is a broad statement. Do you know if your parents had a college fund set up for you? Did you have a secret stash of money you were going use to pay for college?

    Why would that be a "broad" statement? My parents had the chance to send me to an real college when I was in the 5th grade (a special program for gifted kids that would've lasted the whole summer) but of course, being hardcore JW's, "steadfastly" refused. If there exists any "stash" or "fund" in THIS family, it would've been set up solely FOR my dad and BY my dad. He's the one who simply had to have brand-new suits for the assemblies while the rest of us picked cucumbers to raise $$$ to buy materials for our homemade outfits. Even today, he refuses to allow satellite cable so my mom can watch more than 2 channels (too deep in the woods for cable service), whilst he lavishes $$$ on fax machines, laptops, and expensive hunting-dog tracking equipment. College fund for US....HA!!!!!

    Right before I graduated H.S., I had a couple of teachers who saw my potential in spite of my poor grades and really tried, begged, WANTED to help me attend college in some way...were willing to go to bat for me so I could attend college. But of course, having had drilled into my head that the end was coming soon, I refused--knowing what my parents would say if they found out.

    Yes-----I. WAS. DEPRIVED.

    5. how were you and your family going to fund your college education?

    Please see my above response.

    6. Did you take the SAT or ACT?

    No. I've never even heard of an ACT.

    7. Did you get good to great grades in high school?

    My grades were great until I hit H.S. I did well in the subjects that interested me but wasn't motivated enough to try in the classes that were more difficult. Throughout my childhood and teenhood I maintained a fierce, voracious love of reading--just about everything I could get my hands on (age-appropriate material be damned, I didn't care). I learned to read very early, even then I understood most of what I read, and was still ahead of my school peers, even in H.S.--I'd read encyclopedias, dictionaries, borrow textbooks from older kids to read, etc. But I read for pleasure and escape, not because I was trying to get into college.

    8. Were your parents focused on academics and did they really push you to get all you could from the educational system?

    My parents were so convinced that 1975 was "the end" that they kept me out of kindergarten that year. I don't suffer the consequences from that now, but I had an EXTREMELY TRAUMATIC time starting school--I was basically put on a bus one day out of the blue, with no explanation. In addition to extreme hysteria at the very sight of a school bus (had to be physically restrained inside to keep from fighting my way out of the bus) I was extremely withdrawn and did terribly in the 1st two years of school.

    Education has always been, and always will, be dead-last in my parents' eyes. We were allowed to drift along in school, from the very beginning. My mom would either let us eschew school projects or scramble around throwing some shit together to pass for a school project---then call and "explain" to the teacher that we were JW's and needed special consideration for our schoolwork. When you are raised from the beginning to view education as dead-last and college as "something worldly folks did", and are expected to remain at home working at grocery stores and pioneering, you really don't see the importance of academics.

    Even now, you should hear my father's opinions on universities. Just because 1975 has come and gone doesn't mean that my parents don't live like the end is imminent. We grew up with that mentality and they maintain it to this day. I used to, as a teen, plan to kill myself before the year 1999 because I was sure that the end would occur and knew I was too afraid to see it come. Why, I don't recall ever seeing any college attendees NOR graduates in my entire former congregation. And guess what? IT'S STILL LIKE THAT TODAY.

    9. Were you prepared to go to a community college, take out loans, ask for grants, work to fill out the financial picture; all to pay for your education?

    No, I wasn't. Even though I "drifted away" in my very early 20's, it still took me a good 6-7 years to rid myself of the notion that "people like us" weren't "supposed" to go to college.

    A final thought--I am sad to say, I don't think my parents really care at all. Why my dad as much as told us (when we were teens getting in trouble trying to see boys) that people like us were NOT going to stop him from getting into "God's Kingdom."

  • JT

    The following is straight from the very Mouth PC of God himself. why would anyone question the mouth pc of god?



    *** km 5/73 6 What is Your Heart's Desire? ***

    An elder in Korea encouraged his four children to pioneer. At a circuit assembly he and the children were interviewed. The oldest daughter related how she had been the highest scholastically in her high school. She herself wanted to go to college at one point. However, her father informed her that, while she was free to choose such a course, she could not expect financial support from him. She changed her mind about college, and now she is enjoying many blessings as a pioneer. The next oldest, a son, told how he also at one time wanted to go to college and follow a worldly course. But his father sat down and reviewed the Scriptures with him. His father also told him that, if he insisted on following a worldly course, he would also have to find another place to live. He heeded his father's counsel and is very grateful that his father was kind but firm in his stand. The two younger children explained that they were impressed by what happened to the two older ones. From the beginning they planned to become pioneers. The youngest son gave up his high school education to pioneer.

  • JT

    1967 "Parents who are Jehovah's witnesses have another very sound reason for channeling their children's lives into useful trades. They know from fulfilled Bible prophecy that today's industrial society is near its end. Soon it will be given its death stroke by Almighty God himself. After that, in God's new order a reconstruction work will be done to transform this entire earth into a paradise. Trades of many types will be very useful then, as will skills in agriculture and homemaking. So by guiding their children away from the so-called 'higher' education of today, these parents spare their children exposure to an increasingly demoralizing atmosphere, and at the same time prepare them for life in a new system as well." {AWAKE Jun 8 1967 38}

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