Unbelievable! Is this even allowed? Two elders from my hall RANDOMLY stopped by my apartment!

by macys 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Barrold Bonds
    Barrold Bonds

    I'm really surprised no one has stopped by my house yet. I'm guessing they will this weekend.

    I've had an elder hound me for the past month or two. Random phone calls and text messages. I don't answer the calls or reply to his texts. Normally I wouldn't really care much, but he's done it at odd hours. Like one time he texted me at 12:30AM

  • oppostate

    When I was serving as an elder, before ever making a call on any JW by two elders, it would be discussed by the elder body, then two brothers assigned and these two brothers would call, both on the phone line, not just one, but both on the phone line at the same time, to arrange for a scheduled time, especially so if it was a DF'ed person, and even more emphatically so if it was a female.

    That they showed up un-annouced, is very suspicious. Not to make you paranoid or anything, but since you just saw them at the Hall three days ago this stinks of an "investigatory visit".

    You did well not to see them in. If you invite them you are giving in to their tactics. Next time just tell them you're in the middle of getting dressed since you just came out of the shower and have an important appointment at school you must go to. (Their fantasies will run wild).

    If it happens again tell them they just caught you coming out of the shower again, and follow this up with the question "Do you guys plan this? 'Cause you always seem to know when I'm naked and getting out of the shower. If I didn't know better I'd feel like I was being stalked!"

    Then at the very next meeting ask another elder if you can ask something in private with him and another brother and say that you would appreciate if they're going to call on you that they make plans ahead of time because twice now they've shown up at your door when you've just come out of the shower.

    It will get back to the whole body of elders, you better believe it, and if they do try to visit again without an appointment, then sure enough this third time is highly suspicious, no really, the second time may have been a coincidence but now you're getting awful worried and will be calling the CO.

  • Simon

    If you don't want them to call, I suggest using the words "I don't want you to call" rather than a lame excuse that only puts them off and isn't clear.

    From their point of view, they are possibly trying to help and encourage you.

    Is it possible that if they didn't call to try and encourage you that you might now be accusing them of ignoring or abandoning you?

    Sometimes we can be critical for the sake of it and look too hard for offense when it's not clear that anyone is really out to get us.

    In terms of "is this allowed" - pretty much anyone is allowed to call at your door. I think you'd have a hard time claiming they shouldn't when you attend the same church unless and until you tell them that you don't want them to call.

  • Dissonant15

    I am preparing myself for an unannounced visit. I too am going to be "sick" ... with "IBS vomiting/incontinent diarrhea," and "not accepting calls or visits until further notice" due to the "private nature of my illnesses that trend to be exacerbated by social situations."

    Unless my husband's home on which case he'll just tell them to fuck off.

  • Finkelstein

    Why don't you just come and say we don't want to participate with your (the JWS) religion anymore ?

    Take the garbage out once and for all and leave it there, for Christ's sake they're just stupid corrupt men on a power trip.

  • TheOldHippie
    "Allowed"? Why do you ask whether it is "allowed"? Does one have to be "allowed" to visit you? I don't understand this one. At the same time that you state you are in the process of being reinstated, you shout loudly because you are being visited? Why do you want to be reinstated, if it is such a bad thing to be visited?
  • closed

    Simon is 100% right. The blokes can be genuine. My last cong no elder, or rather but one or two of 13, wouldn't bother at all. In the new one they just friendly bunch and it happen they just pop in while on ministry.

    If you don't want them to call then be honest. Don't lie, no warfare crape pls. Whatever others do keep your standards.

    Or I would.

  • WingCommander

    Why are you being reinstated? If you're going back to meetings, and looking to be reinstated, then as far as I'm concerned you're asking for it. That's what these creepy Elders live for- stopping in and "encouraging" hot young sisters such as yourself. They totally get off on that.

    I thought you were DONE with this freakin' cult? Out on your own, living the good life? You can't keep ties with a cult, and not expect it to bite you in the ass once in a while.

  • Diogenesister

    If you want to be reinstated you've got to expect this, whether its a genuine shepherding call or a " checking up on you" call - I don't understand why you are so shocked. Either way you are gonna have to bite the bullet and see them at some point if you want the reinstatement kiddo!

  • Sanchy

    It is protocol that elders should visit disfellowshipped and inactive ones during memorial season to invite them every year. Sometimes they'll try contacting you beforehand; however, if they think you'll give them a "I can't now" when they ask if they can stop by, they might try being sneaky and drop by unannounced,

    Bottom line: You must remember their indoctrination. They think you will die in Armageddon, and thus are justified in any action to try to rescue you from it. It is their duty as elders to do so, or at least that's what they believe.

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