When I was married the first time (13 years), I came home from work one day to find our apartment nearly empty. It was out of the blue -- a serious kick in the gut. There had not been an inordinate amount of arguments... no discussions or constant rants about unhappiness... just the usual marital stuff. She just moved out one day. To this day I don't know who helped her, but she had help.
Within a month, she (the daughter of an elder father and a long-time reg. pio. mother) had cheated on me. I wonder how long she would have kept it a secret but I found out when she was forced to confess. It was weird:
She called one day to say she'd committed adultery. I didn't realize that I could get lower than where I was already. Little did I know. She gave me an absolutely unbelievable, cartoonish recap of the actual deed -- said that it happened out in a field, on a chilly October night, close to where she was living. It was hard believing her, but I did (I was mentally ill, I think). I told her that I had to take some time to think it over.
My best buddy at the Hall, "Charlie," had been there with me through the ordeal every step of the way. I was the best man at his wedding. We were and still are very good friends. I told him what wife had told me.
"That's not how it went, teejay," Charlie said. "Call 'Mike.' You need to talk to him." (Mike and Charlie are fleshly brothers and Mike had moved and now lived 200 miles away).
I was flabbergasted. How did Charlie know something and what did Mike have to do with this? He didn't even live here, anymore! "Call Mike" was all he'd say.
Needless to say, there were a few other inconsistencies in her spiel before the sad story all played out (from what she chose to tell the elders and me). The elders (three adult family men) believed her version of events, by the way. She ended up being slapped on the wrist -- public reproof.
To make matters worse, I got myself into a situation and committed adultery. Feeling cut to my heart about what I'd done, at the very next Thursday night meeting following the misdeed I asked my bookstudy conductor to get a judicial committee together.
"What's this about, teejay?"
"Oh... there's something I need to talk about..." They met with me the next day (Friday evening).
I confessed totally. I told them that the "relationship" I'd had was a one-time deal, that I'd just gotten myself into a bad situation that I shouldn't have, that it was over, and that I wouldn't see the woman ever again.
They met with me again Sunday evening and told me of their decision to disfellowship. No "how can we help you?" no "what can we do to keep you in the fold?" Just: "we've decided to disfellowship."
Juxtaposing all that happened with my wife compared to what was then happening to me told me that, if there was a Jehovah like my Mama had taught me and he was anything like I thought he was, he wasn't directing these men and was not behind any of these events.
I decided to find out why.