What steps did you take to free yourself from the cult? mentally or physically?

by HereIgo 21 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blondie

    Meeting other ex-jws helped a great deal. I was not the only one, and so many of their experiences mirrored mine, so I was not the problem as my family and elders tried to say. Is that like gaslighting?

    Then I read Ray's books, Jim Penton's, and other ex-jws. I started posting on JWN and researching points they shared and understood why the WTS doctrine/policies gave me cognitive dissonance when I read the bible.

    My family had been obliging by shunning me when I was an active pioneer and elder's wife. Not that I had shared my doubts with them or anyone in the Borg. I was badgered by other jws about my severe chronic illness, even implying I wasn't really ill.

    My first month not at the meetings, including conventions/assemblies, weddings, funerals was such a relief. Like a 1,000 pound gorilla off my back. 15 years later, still don't miss it. I still come here on JWN just to keep track of the "new light" from God through the WTS mouth.

    I know I will never be like a non-jw who never heard anything much about jws. It is like going to Al-Anon and making friends of people who understood. But now we travel, garden, go to concerts and other events, movies, free events at the local uni, and now I am old enough to go to classes free. I have started art classes and restarted my piano lessons without any concern to arrange them around the boring hurtful meetings.

  • Freeandclear

    I got DF'd in April of 2015. I was distraught and really still though it was the truth. Since I was out I decided to do some digging that I never would have done if still officially "in" and I read CoC and found JWFacts and read all of it. I then joined up on this forum and started talking to others and reading everything.

    It was a real shock to me. Of course I did have some very minor doubts now and then but my programmed CD always kicked in and I would be fine. But learning that the religion I had devoted most of my life to was nothing more than a cult and a lie....well that was really hard on me for a short time.

    I went through the typical phases of grief I suppose, went athiest for a while, then finally had a two month long existential crisis and finally I ended up where I am now. I don't officially believe in God (as in the God of the Bible) but I'm open to the possibility of something else after death, and the possibility that there is some sort of creator and order in the universe. We really don't know, we can't prove it either way.

    Now I follow my conscience. I try and do no harm to others. And I'm hopeful that when I die (we all will die) something else happens. What that new reality is or may be I will just wait and see when/if it happens, and if it doesn't....well, I won't know anyway, I'll just be gone.

    But my atoms have existed for 13.6 billion years and they will continue to exist for as long as our universe exists so in a way I guess I am eternal already. ;)

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