My Story

by SamTheGinge 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • SamTheGinge

    So, I joined just yesterday after coming across this forum looking at Beth Sarim, and I though that I would share my story with you. It will no doubt be very similar to a lot of others, but it's a way of getting to know me at least.

    I was brought up as Witness from the age of 4 years old, My Dad picked up the 'Truth' from one of his friends in the pub and it seemed to go from there, he would quickly get baptised and progress to becoming a Ministerial Servant and then an Elder. From a young age I wanted to be like my Dad and become a pioneer, a Ministerial Servant and then an Elder... Perhaps even becoming a CO. The world, spiritually speaking, was my oyster.

    When I hit my mid teens, around 14-15 years old perhaps, I realised that the 'Truth' wasn't all it seemed to be. The talk of the 'End of this System of Things' never seemed to be anything other than 'just around the corner', and I recall thinking that it's a bloody long corner if it's been like that for 80 years or so, as it was at the time. I started to question things, like how did they know this was the one true religion? What made them so special? Still, it didn't stop me from getting baptised at the age of 16 (for the wrong reasons it has to be said) and trying to make a go of it. I auxiliary pioneered in the Summer months, and I would be an attendant at Circuit/District Conventions, if only to scout for a girls, which was the thing to do when you were 18 years old or so.

    In the end I landed up getting married for the wrong reasons (typical reasons for young Witness couples), and the marriage, not surprisingly, failed, and I landed up getting divorced (and Df'd) when I met another Witness girl and one thing leading to another. We tried to sort things out and get married, even having two kids together, but, alas, this also failed. I think the fact that she wanted to continue as a Witness and me not having any interest in being one (though I had a few abortive attempts at trying) led to a strain on the relationship. She has since remarried to a nice Witness lad, and I am now very happy (have been for 3 years+ now) in a relationship with a Wiccan of all people! We have a young child together and look forward to a time when we can get married ourselves.

    All told, I have been out the 'Truth' for 12 years. I have no contact with my Dad, or former friends, due to being shunned. Do I miss it? No. I don't think I could go back at all now, not even for the sake of having a relationship with my Dad. He does have some form of contact as he speaks to my girlfriend, but I put that down to him wanted to see his grandchildren and find out how I am doing. Maybe one day he too will see the light? Stranger things have happened.

    Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to get it all out there for you guys to look at! Thanks for reading!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Don't feel too bad. We ALL got baptized for the wrong reason, but baptism is the first step to becoming an XJW.


  • Onager

    Welcome! That sounds like quite a rollercoaster ride. Hope things are good for you now, my wife is sort of pagan, not Wiccan though. We go to solstice parties and stuff. It's fun!

  • Xanthippe

    Welcome! I'm glad you've got your own family now and have found real happiness and freedom. Will you have a Wiccan wedding, will you have to be sky clad? Best wait til summer 😀

  • Ding


    Thanks for sharing your story.

  • pale.emperor

    Welcome Sam. Your story sounds very familiar. By your avatar im guessing you're in Lancashire? Im in Liverpool myself.

    (Also, scouting for girls in the convention was a sport when i was 18-24.)

  • SamTheGinge

    Thanks for the welcome guy's!

    It has been quite a roller coaster when I look back it. I'm thankful that I regret nothing and I can learn from my mistakes. Being a JW was a moment in time, and there were some good times for sure.

    And pale emperor - Not Lancashire (that's the Dark side of the Pennines!), I was brought up in Yorkshire, but I now live on the Kent coast.

  • SamTheGinge

    Also, I should add, we are undecided about a Wiccan wedding. It's something to consider, and if we did decide to do it we have joked about inviting my Dad (bearing in mind that he is still an Elder). I'm not too sure he'd accept though for some reason.

  • stan livedeath
  • steve2

    Welcome Sam. Yep, been there and left. I identify being disfellowshipped as the main event in my life that helped me grow up and take complete responsibility for myself. I was 27 at the time, havng been baptized at 17.

    I stopped being a 'child' and became a 'man'. A child thirsts for direction and approval, a man (or woman) seeks direction for sure but is not so desperate for it that they collapse at the prospect of needing to find their own way. It's harder in the short term, but healthier in the longer term.

    A trap to avoid - and it's a compelling one - is seeking to replace one 'absolutist' system of beliefs with another. It is understandable but you're simply delaying growing up and learning to handle adult responsibilities and the normal uncertainties of life. Some people are obsessed with finding some form of 'divine' meaning and purpose in life that they totally miss living now. JWs are not alone in being so future-focused that they barely get by in the present. And, yes, the only end that comes is their own lives, wasted in waiting for the end of this system than never arrives.

    Hope you stay here and enjoy the exchanges--- and the learning.

    All the best - a Wiccan wedding sounds wicked. Is there any provision for casting a spell on your Dad and getting him to come?

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