Women in the religion who are strong and have their own opinions are treated as if they are immoral in my own experience. What opportunity does it allow for research or independent thought if they look at you as if you're a prostitute every time you offer an opinion?
Why Is it the Girls who Hang in There?
by snugglebunny 39 Replies latest jw friends
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stuckinarut2
If the woman stays in, she enjoys the sympathy and support from all who pity her "terrible" situation having to live with an evil apostate or faded husband...
That "poor soul" routine works wonders for many "sisters"
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xjwsrock
I would agree with Xanthippe. The org is even more stifling to women. As an elder you can at least sling an occasional odd ball comment out. If you are a sister you are expected to basically be a Stepford Wife. Many times I have been in congregations where sisters were being murmured about simply for making too many comments at the meetings. They were accused of "teaching the congregation", and of course that's a no-no.
But back to the original question of why don't they leave. I would say again that they on average fall harder into the trap emotionally and are more influenced by the community element.
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steve2
The org is even more stifling to women. As an elder you can at least sling an occasional odd ball comment out. If you are a sister you are expected to basically be a Stepford Wife.
Very true! Even when I was a zealous Witness, I observed how unfairly elders treated sisters who were perhaps of stronger temperament than they "should" be - whereas the very same temperament in a brother earnt no negative reaction at all - and, if anything was respected.
Sisters much more than brothers were expected to toe the line - and any indication that they had minds of their own were seen as a threat and needed to be counselled. At the same time, sisters made up well over half of the rank and file and often did way more "theocratic" work (e.g., pioneering, helping younger families and their children, and general publishing and conducting Bible Studies) than the brothers.
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Londo111
The JW culture is not one that encourages education and I think the culture tends to mold women to be even more on the uneducated than even a male JW.
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TD
Discussions on this subject always seem to revolve around what is "different" about women. (And not always in a good way, which is not right...)
There are many facets to this question and one of them is that men as a group just don't like church. --No more so than little boys like baths.
It is neither easy nor enjoyable for a man to get dressed up and walk out to the car, Bible in hand while the neighbors are watching football, drinking beer, restoring a hot rod, working in the garage, etc. Church is emasculating (Or at least it feels that way..) and the JW faith is worse than most.
This is not a new phenomenon. Charles Spurgeon was bemoaning this fact back in the 19th century and there is probably no cure for it. The simple truth is we would rather play with our toys.
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Xanthippe
If women are treated badly why don't they just leave? Because they become depressed and develop poor self esteem in that religion so they doubt their own doubts. They doubt their ability to decide what is true and false, that's why.
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steve2
TD, you are pretty much correct. I say "pretty much" because the leadership of the so-called "great" religions of the world are all overly-dominated by males.
So, while it is correct that women are overly represented among the rank and file "floor scrubbers" and faithful devotees, with one or two exceptions, males are exclusively positioned at the top - which is a women-free zone.
While boys would rather their toys, they also love bossing girls around.
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sparrowdown
The reality is Patriachy sucks for both men and women. It places unfair burden on men to take the lead and be oppressive of the women in their lives, while they themselves are being oppessed from above this causes many men and marriages to crack under the pressure of it.
Patriachy teaches women that they are useles and incapable of thinking for themselves without men, causing many women to become extrememely passive aggressive towards the men in their lives. It has to be "passive" aggression because as a woman you are not allowed to complain but instead be grateful for the men who "care for you" like you are a farm animal or something.
So the men become "weak" (awake) and fade away and the women form a tight group of diehard dubs.
It's called a lose/lose situation.
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steve2
I agree sparrowdown that patriarchy sucks for both men and women. Men on the bottom of the scrap heap suffer every bit as much as women. I think of all the emasculated males in the organization: downtrodden, guilt ridden, self-doubting, full of fear and anxiety...it's no picnic.
That said, males, unlike females, can potentially thrive in the male ego-driven world of religious leadership. Look at the buffoons on the GB. What strutting, puffed up overlords. And look at their pompous counterparts in local congregations: Males with very few clues about handling the complexities of human behaviour handing down decisions and judgements on their fellow believers. For some men, this is nothing short of a power trip.