Why Is it the Girls who Hang in There?

by snugglebunny 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • snugglebunny

    Having seen many, many people leave the org over the years, I have to say that, when it comes to married couples, it's almost always the man who makes the first move to leave. I wonder why that is?

    Conversely, when it comes to being converted INTO the witnesses, more often than not it's the wife who joins up first. Although that wasn't the case with my own parents, my father became converted and my mother followed very reluctantly.

  • schnell

    You know that I'd be curious to know as well.

    It really isn't a firm rule, but people who are led along by social ties and irrational faith seem especially susceptible.

  • Simon

    I think women are there more for the social ties compared to men.

    Also, due to the male headship teaching that is promoted, it's much harder for a wife to leave than for the husband (I imagine)

  • blondie

    He who has the gold rules...even now but especially in the WTS, women do not have much financial independence.

  • schnell

    And they're smeared if they leave or go to university or if they find love outside the congregation. I admit, I've looked down on women and teen girls who did just this, and I can't believe I thought it was right.

  • sowhatnow

    in my experience, the men I know typically hate to read and study, [ and socialize,lol ]

    most men are more hands on problem solvers, doers,they don't like to waste time over analyzing trivial things.

    so the sooner they can escape that jw 'obligation' the better for them.

    women like the social circle, its easier when you have a lot of family in , and you live close by to them, but those who have no family in or very few, find it harder to find a social circle to get into.

    women also have some feelings of obligation to hold shit together. despite our own souls failing to pieces .

  • Freeandclear

    The bOrg uses emotional appeal to bring members in. The logic behind their teachings is sketchy at best. I used to teach and conduct Bible studies so yeah, I know this. There were things I didn't fully understand but my CD always found some way to logically explain it to others. But the emotional side of this cult is what really is appealing to most. The idea that all your problems will be solved, that you can rely on God to help you through anything, that you will have this huge "family" etc.....

    Biologically that is much more appealing to women than men IMHO, thus why I think women get brought in first. Add in the social aspect of it as was already mentioned and yes it's very hard for women to leave first.

    Makes sense to me.

  • scratchme1010

    I don't know about joining first, but when women are conditioned to become obedient followers and never being the main decision maker in the family, it make sense that they may not feel right being the first ones making the move out of that organization.

    It has to take a toll when they spend years and years being told that they are secondary, that all they can do is make suggestions, that they have to be submissive, and that they are weaker than men.

  • DesirousOfChange

    When men are appointed as MS/Elders they see more of the Borg's operation "from the inside". Very often that is an eye-opening experience, esp if one is expecting to find evidence of the direction by Holy Spirit. When you pull the curtain open you often find nothing but disappointment. . . . Doc

  • redvip2000

    I think women are there more for the social ties compared to men.

    Yup. This is it. What's keeping the Org afloat is the sense of community and support system it provides. The emotional attachment is the key to understand why women are more willing to excuse flaws in order to retain these ties.

    I too have noticed that in couples where only one is still a JW, it's almost always the woman. Even when it comes to preaching, it just seems as if it's almost always women now.

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