Final Rejection

Disassociated Lady 2

I have just returned from visiting friends and family. When I was disassociated my parents had contact with me a few months before my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I was reinstated 20 months after his funeral and then they disfellowshipped me 5 months later as they are convinced I had not changed my life enough to be a JW again.

As my mother had been seeing me before my reinstatement I went to visit her with my adult son. She opened the door and said she could not entertain us as my sister (who has been an inactive JW for years) would soon be visiting. My mother looked at me and said "You know the rules". I replied that is was cruel. She said it was not cruel. I refused to become the "little girl" again in front of her so I told her some home truths. I also mentioned that it says in the Watchtowers "You should honour your family commitments but keep contact to a minimum" I live over 300 miles away from her so I only visit once or twice a year. The fact that the JWs allow minimum contact and she doesn't even want to give me that says more about her than it does about the JWs and I told her so...this is HER choice not theirs!!!!

I was also very angry that my 24 year old son was with me and she refused to invite him in either as I offered to go elsewhere. Anyway after saying my piece she slammed the door on me and we left.

The next time I will see her now is probably in her box!!

Chook

Sad sad stories, I'm so lucky I was never born in this family destroying cult. All you have in the end is your mind, protect your mind from this poison. If people can't think for themselves there is nothing you can do to help. I just can't fathom parent child relationships destroyed by a group of men in Brooklyn

steve2

So sad to hear of your experience Disassociated Lady 2. The lens your mother wears prevents her from seeing the cruelty in her application of the organization's rules. Yes, it is really astonishing that your son was not even invited in.

I hope you draw from this extremely hard experience all the strength you can muster to get on with your life and to be happy. Somehow, the JWs expect disfellowshipped ones to come crawling back so when instead those who are disfellowshipped learn to lead productive and happy lives it totally floors JWs negative expectations.

Best! steve

pale.emperor

Terrible. The scriptures do say people will have "no natural affection". For a mother to disown her own daughter because a magazine told her so i not normal. It's not natural.

I hope you live a happy, purposeful and loving life without the Watchtower - as im sure you will.

Landy

You can choose your friends ..... :(

scratchme1010

The next time I will see her now is probably in her box!!

I'm sorry you're going through that with your family. I don't necessarily advocate for that (what I quoted), but if there's any consolation in knowing that others go through same or worse, I am one who has gone through similar. Many of us do know how you feel.

Actually, in my case it was a little different. My parents and JW family did want to welcome me but only to do the same dysfunctional nonsense they do. They knew that I was the one who decided to walk away, so they were holding grudges and they wanted to have the last saying about our relationship.

The truth is that either way neither of us deserves that kind of treatment, and they are in the wrong. Make no mistake, they are the ones who should be apologizing and making amends, and wanting to have us with them. Choosing their stupid Jehovah over their loved ones is not a loving thing to do.

DesirousOfChange

The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

Disassociated Lady 2

My Mum dislikes me anyway as she sees the "free and wild spirit" in me that was in her before she gave in fully to the JWs. She doesn't want to be reminded of it, so it is easy for her to have an excuse not to see me. Very sad. x

jeanniebeanzz

I have come to the conclusion that people who treat you like this are mentally ill. It may not be a condition from birth, but the mind has become corrupted and enflamed by a dark belief system. My advice, us this as an opportunity to teach your son exactly why you left and why he should stay away. Don't go back... not even for a funeral... why should you? They don't give a shit about you of your kiddo... live your life and don't look back.

berrygerry

normal family affections and dealings continue.

https://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/shunning/

Final Rejection

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