Understanding a family member that’s A witness

by understandingjehovah 10 Replies latest jw experiences

  • understandingjehovah


    I need some advise or understanding.

    My brother became Jehovah Witness because of his wife. Our dad is dying and over the last two months he’s done some very weird stuff.

    My family knows he’s not a real witness because he sells corn liquor and pills, drinks daily, let us have our moms birthday at their house. He’s also committed adultery, it’s rumored that he molested our cousin when he was younger, done fraud to my dying dad, lied about being our dads POA for greed only to find out he’s not, lied to the family about his estranged daughters, called his oldest daughter a b*tch because she doesn’t want anything to do with him, lied on our dads life to her to get her to talk to him, he has the name Nympho tattooed on his neck, has slandered his immediate family and abandoned two of his daughters for over 20 years to start a family with his new wife.

    His wife drinks daily as well, assisted in him not being in his other children life, she participates in baptist church with our family and she tried to fight me in front of my dying father prior to his decline.

    Their daughter that lives in their home constantly talks about depression and suicide and the mother disregards it.

    I’m really confused at how they speak if jehovah but live their life like this.

    Can anyone explain ?

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    No body is perfect

  • pistolpete

    I’m really confused at how they speak if jehovah but live their life like this.

    You seem to believe that a person's religion has anything to do with a person's character. A religion is a belief system with their differing ideas of what makes a person moral, All religion"s ideas of what make a good person is flawed.

    For example Jehovah's Witnesses speak of Jehovah as you mentioned, yet they would be willing to let their child, wife, husband, or parents DIE, if it conflicts with their doctrine of no blood transfusion. Does being a Jehovah Witness make them more moral than anyone else considering they are willing to let their family die for a belief system made by a group of men that started the religion in the 1800s?

    You need to judge a person's character based on how they live their life and how they act instead of the religion they associate with. .Some of the most famous serial killers were very religious.

  • Incognito

    Welcome to the forum UJ.

    Condolences to you and your family in this stressful time with your father's present state of health.

  • joe134cd

    Useless piece of shit. JW or not you need to disfellowship him from your family. PRONTO!!!!

  • Vidiot
    pistolpete - "You seem to believe that a person's religion has anything to do with a person's character."


    I'm at the point in my life where I suspect that a person's religion has absolutely fuck-all to do with their character.

    For the vast majority of (seemingly) loyal JWs, it's affiliation with the group that actually matters.

  • Diogenesister

    Welcome to the forum.

    I URGE you to please check out JWfacts.com. It's the most comprehensive website on the Watchtower and Jehovahs Witnesses there is.

    Interestingly, the man who named Jehovahs Witnesses and formulated many of the religions central ideas (no blood, disfellowshipping and shunning, Jesus 'choosing' them in 1919) 'Judge' Joseph Rutherford, was a notorious alcoholic and also abandoned his wife and son. They also have a huge problem with child sex abuse and have been investigated by Govts in Australia, Britain, the Netherlands, Belgium, New Zealand with court cases in the States & many places. The have a massive secret database of paedophiles they've refused to hand over to many US courts.

    All of which goes to prove they are like any other religion with the same problems. Some things stem from sexual repression, and there are good and bad people within the org just like everywhere.

    No one is all good or all bad. Everyone is influenced by their background, their level of wealth, childhood abuse, education level, culture, sex and sexual orientation, birth order...you get the picture. Are there mitigating circumstances for some of your brother's behaviours? Was he very young when his eldest kids were born? Was their mother very young and immature? I'm a little suspicious that you seem to be character assassinating your brother to such an extent...Why? I don't think his Association with the religion has anything to do with the level of animosity you seem to have for him. This thing seems to go far deeper.

    Imo Association with such a narcissistic organization can only serve to make a narcissistic person (and if all this is true he is certainly a narcissist) even worse!!!

    Jehovahs Witnesses are a cult. Look up the definition of undue influence, cults and the Bite model

    They fit the "BiTE" model perfectly:

    B behaviour control - many rules they MUST Obey

    I Information control - not allowed to read outside or critical sources

    T thought control - must confess if they doubt etc

    E emotional control - watchtower uses carrot and stick, fear of death loss of family through shunning etc

    Also they operate using F.O.G. "Fear, obligation & guilt"

    If your brother and sister-in-law are messed up this is probably why. Also please, try to bring everyone together, for the sake of your father, during his last days....please, if you can be a force for good, for love.

    Also, just to say, as to him using your dad's illness as a way of getting to speak to his kid...I'm sure your brother will use any and everything to get his daughter back in his life. If you're being honest wouldn't you? I would!

  • Sigfrid Mallozzi
    Sigfrid Mallozzi

    Sounds like the typical witness family.

  • Mum

    Mental illness and self delusion are at the heart of being a Jehovah's Witness. I'm sorry that all of this is going on in your family.

    Your brother is supposed to confess his sins to the elders. I think he has the skills to convince them he is "repentant" and get away with whatever he wants to do.

    Buck up. I wouldn't expect things to improve.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    Sigfrid Mallozzia month ago

    Sounds like the typical witness family.

    ha ha--i only just saw that reply..brilliant.

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