Good evening everyone, I go by Issa. As many former ex-witnesses, I "woke up" from believing that the Jw org is the "Truth". This happened during this month thanks to information from Jw-Facts and YouTube videos about ex-witnesses' experience in this org. Here's my experience and I hope people in this community can relate and help me out sort matters out.
I 'grew up' in this org unintentionally. My mother had studied with a witness. My father had Witnesses parents. As much as they could implore teaching them about the Bible and encouraging them to dedicate their life to Jehovah (or WT), all are either expelled or former witnesses. My dad never baptized, but studied with a witness. I studied with my mother's teacher. For being treated like a mini adult as a kid (afterall, she admitted treating me and my sister like adults in our bible studies), I was taught to believe and live the doctrines of the WT society. My teacher, I'll say this now, was the cause of my trauma as a teen. I didn't pay much attention to the "Great Tribulation", 1914, Armageddon, and the usual fears that the WT implore in their publications. My teacher had good intent to teach me to love Jehovah and imitate Jesus, but she just implored this fear of obligation to live by WT rules (afterall, it's Jehovah's 'nation'). But really, there's so many inconsistencies in the publications that made me question along the way as I was reading. I knew there was something wrong with how this org goes on to say about the end of the world. I never got the whole thing about 1914, let alone 1918 or 1919. My tecaher (she's the first of my series of switching with other teachers) never teached me about 1975. I've only heard about it during (yes, I think you have a hunch) the RC "Don't give up!". Yes, that's the only first occasion I heard about the prophecy of 1975. I've always had a feeling in my gut that something felt wrong, out of place. From trying to answer my own questions to trying to grasping the fact that I been lied too my entire life. I've always found conflicting that Jehovah was going to kill everyone else in Armageddon except the Jws. I've always had these nightmares during my third year of Junior high about the Great Tribulation, my family drying, fire and destruction everyone. And when I told my mother and sisters how I felt (God forbid I told my father), they simply said I was paranoid, brainwashed by my teacher. On the side note, she was the one that explained how the world was going to end and how Jws were going to be persecuted and put into concentration camps during the Great Tribulation.
I'm so relieved to be free. For once I could stop fearing, use my critical thinking, question what I believe, and knowing that I'm not thw only one. I recently left the organization, ans I'm trying to sort evidence to show to my family. My sister is in this situation and I want to convince her that she shouldn't feel guilty for what she is. Like her, my family is believing that the WT is God's organization. Thank you for reading my experience. My concer is how I want to make it clear that I want to resign from the org. I'm baptized (coerced by my first bible teacher). Haha, during our review of the baptism questions, she said I wasn't ready to become a witness. And yeah, I never felt the desire to be baptized as long as I doubted in what I believed of this org.