UGHHHHH Wife wants to pioneer. Our future together doesn’t look promising

by goingthruthemotions 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • goingthruthemotions

    UGHHHHH Wife wants to pioneer. Our future together doesn't look promising

    I told her she doesn’t know what she is getting into. I told her that once she signs up for the position, she will be

    Accountable to them and not to us. Just like a business. They will require the utmost from her....her life will change. she will have to tow the line even more now. She doesn't realize this!!!!!!!!!!!!

    She is so sucks on so many levels.

    I told her it’s more of a social club for her, and she

    Doesn’t know the doctrine, I told her our family will take second and third priority.

    They are going to own her, just like a business, she doesn’t care. All she cares about is this cult. I truly hate this religion with every being I have.

    She lacks any reasoning ability and doesn't care. How could someone be smart in alot of areas be so mentally lacking in this area.

    Clock countdown to divorce will start once she become a pioneer and is owned by them .

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    When i was having a grand old time in the borggy I thought I could pioneer. I just loooooooved everyone in the cong, everything would be so wunderful oh my.

    By the end of the 5th week, I was exhausted; I'd had my feelings hurt too many times to count, by thoughtless, inconsiderate heifers who were so delighted to have new meat to grind up; I was so sick of seeing the same old faces almost every single day - old stinky breath McDonald, old garlic-chewing-for-immune-system-&-knows-everything Peggyann; old takes a bath once a week whether she needs it or not Almira McGillicuddy; and of course the old woulda-been-an-elder-if-only-she-was-a-man-so-she-is-keeping-her-laser beam-eyes-on-every-move-you-make Harridan From Hell.*

    They would tell me that I needed to take their talk assignment the very day of the meeting. They would criticize my outfit; my bookbag; what i said at the doors. They would get mad at me if I needed to get a bathroom break. They would send me to doors that they knew were terrible mean people and then laugh and say I needed to get my beating. They would pick on me for laughing too loud in the car or in the kh. They would take turns so I never knew who was going to be bad cop for the day. Constantly telling me I was wrong if I brought up any topic no matter how inoffensive it was.

    They made sure I never got to drive so I was carsick every time I went in service. They would complain about where I parked when I got to the kh in the morning. It was a MILLION put-downs and irritations times pioneer hours equals emotional beatings equals depression.

    I don't know if my experience was exceptional or the norm. If she goes through anything like I was subjected to, she won't last long. Maybe if you're just really nice about it all, you will be the refreshing comfort she needs and your problem will just dissolve. I hope things won't be as bad as you think.

    *names have been changed :-)

  • goingthruthemotions

    To be Honest, I am so tired of being the best husband i could be to her. she is a taker and not a giver.

    I bend over backwards for her and she could care less. All she cares about is the POS cult.

  • LongHairGal


    Even though I was never a pioneer and had no interest in any titles,..your description of being put down and constantly scrutinized was something I remember experiencing - even if it was on a lesser scale.

    Believe me, what you described was not something I had any intention of getting used to. It made me furious that, in effect, I was going to be poked and prodded by these older people..Unacceptable and I wasn’t having it. Now, was this because I was not raised a JW and had different upbringing/schooling?? Possibly.

    When all the critics, oddballs and spiritual giants realized they weren’t going to get anywhere with me..that I wasn’t going to quit my full time job and pioneer..they just shunned me and made sure I wasn’t invited anywhere.

    My condolences to the O.P.

  • smiddy3

    Cheeessuuusss some of you people must have been in congregations from hell .I was in about 7 different congregations in two seperate states in Australia. In all of those congs most .brothers and sisters were either an employee ,or they were self employed or owned their own business and employed some brothers.

    In my first congregation the PO and his assistant were both fleshly brothers and both were employed as " Life salesman". Other self employed brothers were house painters, Tilers ,Builders ,plasterers,electricians and plumbers An ex missionary and his wife ran a beauty salon that my wife was employed as a one stage. Both my sons were employed by brothers at one time or another..I myself had a full time job It was never a problem in Australia in my experience ?

    And it was a great social life that we experienced for many years .Maybe that was why it took 33 years to wake up we were having too much fun and could overlook problems that were beginning to mount up until we could no longer overlook them anymore.

    I truly feel for you people who were living in these shit congregations that sucked the soul out of you .

    As for GTTM`s I`m sorry you are going through this ,obviously she is not going to be challenged by doctrines that not being a big deal for her it seems she is just emotionally attached to the religion and it`s social life and a feel good feeling about it.

    That`s the bubble that needs to be burst .How you do that is up to you ,you know her best .Many people are in the religion purely because of emotions ,feeling good about a new system where they pet pandas and lions all day eating oversize grapes in a house that`s been leftover from some rich dude in this system .

    Totally unrealistic.

    They will be told what to do and what they can`t do by a GB in the new System and it won`t be up to individuals to choose what they can and can`t do .

    Big Brother will dictate with rules and regulations how paradise will be run.

  • Longlivetherenegades

    Watchtower July 1 1943 is what I will ask you to get and reason alongside her about the GENESIS of PIONEERING based on the account of Jesus saying they TEACH commands of MEN as doctrine.

    If you can get her to to reason that the PIONEERING work is just the construct of Rutherford to subordinate JWs and Lord it over the members.

  • Listener

    That title of pioneer can be so important to some JWs, they wouldn't think of just putting in the same hours without acknowledgement.

  • Longlivetherenegades

    @ goingthrutheemotions

    Note the parts of "HE SAYS"......... "HE SAYS"............. followed by the commands of MEN in this case RUTHERFORD................... the issue here is the Lord didn't say ANYTHING about all what was written in that article. It was all COMMANDS of MEN. It is in such commands people SPIRITUALITY and INTEGRITY are tested and measured. Should she default in a month, it will be counted as spiritual weakness or slowing down spiritually and has stated earlier she just handed herself over to full control and increased surveillance on you as well because any slow down on her part will be seen as YOU not doing ENOUGH to support her or a case of you PERSECUTING her.

    In the land of JWs, a pioneer, a wife beater of a man in this case who reports 70 hours monthly is seen as a BONAFIDE JW while the wife of the same man who is equally a baptized member who don't report is seen as not a BONAFIDE JWs.

    What does the above tell you? Spirituality is measured in as many hours or figure you can supply in COOKED or UNCOOKED form and added to this the FAQS on the website states they only count as JWs those who report their preaching activities regularly.

    Reason along with her, you might be fortunate something will make her do a rethink.

  • Tameria2001

    My suggestion (you can take it or leave it) would be to go ahead and not give her a hard time signing up to pioneer, but...

    Now when I say but, make sure you push her to get all her required hours, even if she doesn't want to or complains that she is tired. Tell her being tired is not an excuse, you got to give your all, plus more because that is what is required. Make sure you don't make things easy at home. She must still fix the meals, clean the house, and all that goes with it, including the wash. If you have children, she must make sure the kids come first, sick kid, it will be up to her to care for them.

    She wants to pioneer, does not mean that you are going to take up the slack at home. Make sure that she knows this is what is going to happen if she signs up.

  • LongHairGal


    Not to detract from the O.P., but they apparently have a more sensible attitude towards jobs/careers in Australia it seems..Unless, of course, the attitude was different towards women - and they’re treated like I was..which is to say like an outcast.

    Luckily and perhaps because I was NOT raised a JW, I ignored the Witnesses’ attitudes and stayed in the workforce until retirement.

    In the U.S. where I’m from.. JWs are expected to NOT concern themselves about jobs, money or anything apparently. They are encouraged to turn down jobs (even if unemployed) if it means they will miss any meetings. There is a recent thread about a talk given at a convention saying something along these lines.

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