BOE: Singers for recordings in German - bethel email address uncovered
LOL - Maybe they could hire Helene Fischer or Andrea Berg
On a more serious note, I do know a JW lady who meets all of their criteria.
I wish we could bring back the purple one, Prince, by swapping him for the seven holy sopranos in Brooklyn. Maybe get him to do a Watchtower cover version of Purple Rain. I'd sing to that.
WATCHTOWER PAINI always meant to cause you sorrow
I always meant to cause you pain
I never wanted to one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Preaching under watchtower painWatchtower pain, watchtower pain
When did Prince become a JW? Because his lyrics would make Caligula blush...
"Darling Nikki" (1984): "I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess U could say she was a sex fiend/I met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine"
The opening lines to "Darling Nikki" are so shockingly blunt that it's almost comical, especially since no other song from Purple Rain comes close to being this dirty. In fact, this song is so filthy that it landed on Tipper Gore's "Filthy Fifteen" list of songs, which eventually led to those Parental Advisory stickers on albums.
"Sexuality" (1981): "U don't need no money, U don't need no clothes/The second coming, anything goes"
If there's one thing that Christians love, it's a sexual pun based on something from the Bible. That'll definitely go over well.
"Do Me, Baby" (1981): "Take me baby, kiss me all over/Play with my love/Bring out what's been in me 4 far 2 long"
You don't have to explain how intercourse works, Prince. We get it. Hopefully she gets it, too.
"Jack U Off" (1981): "If you're tired of the masturbator/Come on over 2 my neighborhood/We can jump in the sack and I'll jack U off"
Just look at that title. If Tipper Gore thought that "Darling Nikki" was filthy enough to warrant a Senate hearing, she probably would have sent the military to invade Minneapolis and detain Prince if she ever heard "Jack U Off".
"Little Red Corvette" (1982): "U had a pocket full of horses/Trojan and some of them used...I'm gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine"
Prince, why would you hang with anybody who carries around used condoms in their pocket? That seems too gross even for you. Make sure she gives you one of the wrapped ones.
"Delirious" (1982): "My temperature's runnin' hot/Baby U got 2 stop/'Cuz if U don't I'm gonna explode/And girl, I got a lot"
I'm sure whoever it is Prince is singing to in this song appreciates the warning.
"Let's Pretend We're Married" (1982): "Look here, Marsha, I'm not saying this just 2 be nasty/I sincerely wanna f**k the taste out of your mouth"
...This is absolutely terrifying. Ladies, if any man says this to you, even if it's Prince, you should probably call the police.
"International Lover" (1982): "If 4 any reason there is a loss in cabin pressure/I will automatically drop down 2 apply more/2 activate the flow of excitement"
Prince wrote an extended air-travel related innuendo without a single reference to the mile-high club. This is why he's a national treasure.
"Head" (1980): "I'll give U head/Til you're burning up/Head/Til U get enough/Head/Til your love is red/Head love til you're dead"
Prince, I'm pretty sure she's going to tell you to stop at some point before she dies, so don't go setting aside the rest of your life to do this.
"Lovesexy" (1988): "Oh pretty little whip/U got me drippin'/Drippin' all over the floor, the floor"
I know he's probably talking about sweat, but he could so easily be talking about something else here.