Our Lost Histories (page 2)

Lady Lee

Like amazing I too spent a few years being a kid. I actually hung out in a park one might with a girlfriend of mine and had a watermelon fight... until the police showed up to tell us to get out of the park after midnight. I went to my first rock concert yup tried cigarettes and pot.

I think for me it is a bit different too because of the abuse in my family even before the JW contact. I would not have ever had a normal childhood even if they hadn't been there.

Just as it steals a healthy past it tries to steal the future. The end is always shortly. You won't grow old. Your kids won't go to school in this system. Your parents or YOU won't die.

They steal the past - strangled the present and keep the future forever dangling on a stick that is always just out of reach. And if you aren't happy about it they you are weak.

What a sad way to live

This is one gal who refuses to ever go back to that way of living.

The danger is that all that crap desroys any motivation we have to change the present and the future

Water

ash -

Your post put into words what I have been feeling and trying to find a way to express. It's part of the reason I spend so much time here on JWD. As much as I hate the fact that anyone has had to go through the feeling of a 'lost' childhood, It's nice to know that other people understand, that I am not alone, and that I am not imagining it all. Thank you.

Water

DannyBear

Lady Lee,

****They steal the past - strangled the present and keep the future forever dangling on a stick that is always just out of reach. And if you aren't happy about it they you are weak.****

Excellent! So true.

Danny

rocketman

Tonight the wife is out, and I had some time to think.

That's when I do my best thinking too!!

rocketman

Lucky for me, though my parents were jws. they were not strict at all. I did not miss out on much, thanfkully.

Sunnygal41

{{{{{{{{{ASH}}}}}}}}}

Boy, did I feel your pain, my pain, and all of us X's! It does feel like we were robbed sometimes. But, having worked so hard to get out of my negative, glass half empty, obsessive/depressive thinking that being in the Dubs for so many years brought on, I can also be extremely, deeply grateful that I am now outside and cruisin' full speed ahead, gathering new memories and experiences.......not that I ever forget the WTS, none of us ever will, they, not "Babylon the Great" are full of the blood of innocents". Just to hear the echo of your inner child's sadness reminds me that they stole many young one's childhoods. You expressed it very poetically and wonderfully, too! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Terri

Sunnygal41

When I left the JWs, I felt young again ... as though I were 20 years old still ... my theory, which I learned has some scientific support, is that when we leave an abusive situation we return to the age we were at when we first joined them ... sooo ... for a few years, I let myself be 20 again in the heart ... aftermore than 11 years away from the JWs ... I have finally grown from age 20 to 21 ... ...
I recommend letting yourself be young again at some age level you wish ... maybe for an hour at a time ... go to the beach ... play games ... or do those things that bring nothing but pure joy ... explore, go hiking, etc. ... do some teenage things ... go to a party. While it cannot be quite the same as being 5 or 6 or 10 ... it can help the healing and finish the business of being human at a young age ... and we have the advantage of being old enough to know not to do the stupid foolish or illegal things ... so in some ways, we can be better at being young now than when we were young.

I really really loved this, Amazing, cuz I did the same thing, and it felt soooo good.....I became the teenager I was when I became involved with the JW's and like Lady Lee, I smoked pot and cigars, wore short, short skirts, flaunted my sexuality, and slept around for awhile! LOL! I had always had an immense need to try things out, kick my heels up, have some fun.....part of me wondered all the time and felt sad at what I had missed! Now, because I allowed my teenager to get it out of her system, I am at peace inside! I don't feel the old restlessness that I used to feel. I have always felt that we need that time of sowing our wild oats, so we can look back and know in our hearts that we tried what we wanted to and made our decisions ourselves. It's part of owning our power, I guess.....even kids need to know that they are important, that they have rights.......
Terri

ashitaka

Thanks again for all of your replies. I'm still checking up on the thread, but I'm kind of emotionally exhausted and am having a hard time putting my response into words. I'll try tomorrow.

ash

Elsewhere

What is odd is that I have a very hard time remembering people's names, places and events that I knew while in the bOrg. Like when you wake up from a dream and later in the day you can just barely remember the dream.

Lady Lee

sunnygal

and like Lady Lee, I smoked pot and cigars, wore short, short skirts, flaunted my sexuality, and slept around for awhile!

ack!!!! I just tried the pot once - well and got stoned once from the second hand smoke but I never ever tried a cigar. Nope not me. I'm a lady I is. Well maybe except for the short skirts and stuff but nope not them smelly ceegar things.

ash Take your time - the thread will be here long after we're gone

Our Lost Histories

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