How My Husband Helped Me See TTATT

by corruptgirl 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • corruptgirl
    I wanted to write my experience on how my husband helped me see the TTATT (the truth about the truth). First, let me mention that he wrote his own experience a couple months ago under the name Sanchy. For his story please click here….. My husband first told me about the doubts he was having in late October of 2015. I was also “weak” spiritually ever since we had our son the year before. I found it very difficult to go preaching, listen to meetings, find time for personal study etc. We got pregnant again only 6 months after I gave birth to our first so that didn’t help the stress we already felt. I explain all this in order to explain why I didn’t give it much importance or worry when my husband told me about his doubts the first time. I figured it was a weak moment in our lives spiritually, that we were going through a lot, and this shall pass. And for a while I thought it had because he never mentioned it again, until about the beginning of December. I of course realized it was more serious than I thought. I saw that he was very distraught and confused so I wanted to know what his doubts were so I could help him. It shocked me to say the least to learn about some of his doubts, views on subjects like today’s “last days” etc. So much so that I was sure Satan had influenced him. But I truly wanted to help him and let him vent on his thoughts, confusion, sadness, etc. To make a long story short we spent pretty much every night discussing many topics that he would bring up, and try to find the answers in the bible. Never did he show me any apostate material. Although he did tell me of some of the things he read in the book Crisis of Conscious. But I have to say I'm pretty proud of the fact that I came to my realization not by any “apostate” material but only through comparing the WT publications to the bible. After a while doubts would rise in my mind as well about things such paradise earth, earthly resurrection, the other sheep, great crowd, 1914, etc. At first I didn’t want to share with him that he had gotten me to have doubts, not for the sake of winning an argument but because I wanted to help and if I admitted that some things were crazy then it would make it worse. I just figured there was an explanation that I couldn’t find the answer to in order to help him. After a while though I did not care to show my doubts, as so many things just didn’t add up anymore….still I believed though.
    I didn’t really care about things like wrong doctrine or failed dates from the past. I would just brush it off as the organization making human errors and the “light getting brighter”. I also figured if Jesus said he would judge the faithful and discreet slave in his return this meant that they could make mistakes and have room for errors and imperfection. Funny how we JW’S will go so far to defend the WT organization. I figured as long as we have it right NOW, it’s ok. Until the day I found out we don’t. One night my husband showed me a crazy explanation for Ezekiel 4:15-16 from the book Finished Mystery (pg # 697 text version) which “prophesized” that God would separate Russell from his wife and that he was not to mourn his wife, but rather remain in his service to God in the temple. This was by far the craziest thing I had ever heard, and it seems this book is full of it. Then he showed me how the WT book Revelation mentions this book as one that denounced false religion….how ironic. This disturbed me so I wanted to look further to see if any new publication spoke well about this book. I found an article from the March 2016 WT magazine which mentions this book “strengthened god’s people”. That was it for me….
    Let me just say that nobody comes to the conclusion that this is not the truth in the same fashion. Everyone is affected by something different and you gotta find what that something is…..regardless here are some things my husband did that definitely worked! 1. He did not show me any “apostate” material -though he would study it before hand and bring new “doubt” topics to me every night! My naïve self thought it was all coming from his head. ☺ 2. He never criticized or put down the organization, GB, elders, etc. Very important since one is so sensitive to that subject when you believe they are directed by Jehovah. 3. Even though we would definitely get into some arguments sometimes he never disrespected my beliefs. We always spoke very truthfully and honestly to each other. …even if it hurt…through tears and sorrow. It's good for both of you to let it all out, in a respectful manner. I knew I couldn’t help his “situation” but I had to tell him how I felt about it and vise versa with him. 4. He always came about his doubts in a very humble manner. He wouldn’t come to me with a definite answer - “I researched this and found out it's not the truth because blah blah blah. …” instead he came with lots of questions and let me think for my own. Yeah in the end he would give his own opinion on the matter, but this inquisitive approach was the best and I believe the only way to go. In short my husband “converted” me in a matter of 3 months. He never gave up and I don't think he ever would have no matter how long it took. I realize this is a very optimistic experience and unfortunately it does not happen this fast usually. But I still wanted to share my story to encourage those of you out there with a spouse still in “the truth”. I hope the best for you all, and I hope you all still keep your faith in God. I may be lost in regards to my beliefs right now but one thing I know for sure is that there is a God and he will bring “GB” to justice for screwing with so many people’s minds and lives….whether they do it knowingly or not.
  • freemindfade
    Welcome, thank you for sharing
  • xjwsrock


    Thanks for the recounting. I have to say it's difficult to keep my cool in those discussions. There is so much anger and resentment to swallow down. I will keep your points in mind for future talks with my wife. I don't have the bonus of her getting spiritually weak though. I have been dropping seeds for like 3 years now. 😟

    I think I have made more progress than she admits and she hasn't taken me to the elders, so I see the positive of that.

    Congrats on getting mentally free. It is a long process. Be patient with yourself. Set it down for a few days if you can to give your brain a breather.

  • sparky1

    Congratulations.............and welcome to the board.

  • FayeDunaway

    Your suggestions are really great, I know because it's what happened between me and my husband (I woke up first in our case).

    Another family saved from the cult!! It's fantastic.

    I still believe in God as well.Take your time working out your beliefs, and do lots of research.

  • FadeToBlack
    Welcome and thanks for sharing. A lot of us (guys) need to know what might work and what doesn't. Enjoy the rest of your WT-free life...
  • fastJehu

    @ corruptgirl

    Welcome on board and thanks for sharing your story.

  • Xanthippe
    Corruptgirl what a fantastic story. Welcome to freedom! Hope everything goes well with the pregnancy. It's so good you're children won't be brought up in that horrible cult.
  • mfrederick
    Corruptgirl you have a private email.
  • Lostwun

    I really appreciate you sharing your story with us and what worked for you in waking up.

    My spouse has one foot in the cult and one foot out. I decided to keep mum on all topics religion because its too sensitive a subject for us both as born ins and almost always leaves to arguments. I resolved in my heart that he would have to come to his own conclusions about the wt and my stance has somewhat worked. He see's the lack of real love in the congregation and the constant hamster wheel lifestyle of it all. He hasnt been to a meeting for close to two months now and ignores all elder calls. He's been getting close with a 'wordly couple' we have become good friends with and its broadening his viewpoint on alot of things. Just hoping one day he will finally cut the wt cord for good and leave it behind like I have.

    Sorry for the long post. I enjoy reading experiences from fellow exjws who are still struggling with a spouse still in. Im glad you saw the real light.

    Best wishes to both you and your hubby on your new life together outside of wt.


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