Cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics in social media!

by stuckinarut2 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • stuckinarut2

    So over the last few years, the Witnesses I know (who were close friends in the past) who follow me on Instagram social media have been steadily dropping off and blocking me....

    But there are a small number who are still friends.

    I have noticed one sad situation for one friend who is clearly battling cognitive dissonance. If she posts a picture and I leave a nice comment on it, my comment quickly disappears. (She must delete it I guess) But then soon after she sends a nice private message asking how we are, or commenting on the post or activity. The same occurs if I post a pic. She doesn't comment publicly, but sends a private message instead.

    I really feel for her. She and her husband have heard the talk and "counsel" from the local elders to avoid us, yet they still want our friendship, but can't be seen to be in association with us.

    So sad. Yet I do not hold it against them.

    Such is the power of the society!

  • jp1692

    You're "secret friends"!

    Nothing screams CULT like: "I have to pretend I don't know you/talk to you/like you and so I have to hide our relationship because ..."

    Well, you know why.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    It's rough being awakened to the WTBTS bs, but still having to play it cool so that we do not lose our family and friends that are trapped within this religious org.

    Please excuse us, but we cannot risk losing our loved ones.


  • Lostwun

    Siar2 i watch my numbers drop everytime i make a new post too. Lol i guess its hard for some people to see all the fun your having without posting up convention or FS pics.

    To me its a sign of who's real and who's not.

  • Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho
    Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

    Do I know them?

  • scratchme1010

    Actually, stuckinarut2, that may not be cognitive dissonance at all. She may be as brainwashed, led to believe that such behavior is appropriate and normal.

    With my family they thought that it was ok to contact me when they need something from me, but not for anything else. That was taught to them; it was not coming from any form of thinking and rationalizing illogical behaviors. It was brainwashing.

    I also remember when suddenly one of my sisters called me because "now they are allowed to reach out", without any consideration of if I even wanted to talk to her. Again, they were just blindly following directives that were given to them.

    Cognitive dissonance comes mostly from a place where the actions or words behind their believes are challenged, as opposed to when they just do things following what they have been told to do.

    Sad, indeed, and sorry is the right way to feel about them.

  • Vidiot

    "Secret Friends"...

    ...sounds like the title of an after-school special.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes will know of many I'm sure

  • OnTheWayOut

    I thought I would hold on to my best friend, as I was there for him when he was disfellowshipped. But as soon as my wife told him I went "inactive," he cut ties with me and basically said that if I ever want to come back in, he will help me. Good riddance.

    The only JW's that treat me like a human being beyond family and in-law family are my wife's best friend and her husband.

    In your case, I can see how you may really feel for them. They want to be good people but their cult holds them back.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes OTWO, your situation is sad. Sorry to hear that!

    I guess, if someone is ashamed for it to be publicly known that they communicate with us, then they are NOT really a friend!

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