So almost two weeks ago, my boyfriend(who was disfellowshiped) went to the memorial. He hasn’t spoken to his parents, friends, or siblings for over a year because of it. the only person he keeps in contact with is his grandma, which is who he went along with. it ended up the whole family was there, so after i explained to him that it hurt my feelings he didn’t take me along(as we live together and i’m a huge part of his life), he told me his parents want to meet me. i can’t help but feel there is a catch. is this a good idea? he was telling me the whole time his parents were just telling him the reasons why they can’t talk to him, and why they have blocked him, trying to get him to see where they are coming from. trying to get him to see their truth. i know they will continue to not talk to him, his mom is a pioneer and very much involved. so why are they inviting us over for dinner?
non jehovah witness dinner
You've been posting about this guy for 8 months.
If you haven't figured out by now that you should run very very far away, very fast, then nothing you read about on a discussion board will help you much.
I'm with you sir82. If by this point she doesn't get it then there's nothing we can do. She doesn't seem to participate much in her threads. Kind of a hit and run poster.
We aren't translators for toxicity. If she keeps playing this game she gets what she gets and we can't help.
How are we supposed to know their individual motives?
Yes dubstepped, but why are they inviting them over to dinner? LOL😀
Sweetie pie we have told you he is a POMI but will soon become PIMI. Why aren't you discussing this with him instead of with strangers on the internet.
I take it you are living together unmarried? (I haven't read your other posts). If his interest in returning to JW.org continues, very soon he will ask you to marry him or one of you will need to move out as you cannot continue to live together. Just be wary in that you are dappling with, could/is a trap, a trap that is very hard to escape from if you get too wrapped up in it all. Heed sir82's advice....
...after i explained to him that it hurt my feelings he didn’t take me along... ...he told me his parents want to meet me. i can’t help but feel there is a catch. is this a good idea?
There may or may not be a catch, but more importantly is, DID HE ADDRESS WHAT YOU TOLD HIM? I think that the disjoint between what you say to him and moving along without him addressing any of it is what's making you grow insecure. He might not even notice that he's doing that.
One of the things that I have learned about a LOT of ex-JWs is that they refuse vehemently to think, acknowledge, leave alone talk about feelings. Talking about how any of you feel might be challenging for him. Him wanting to introduce you to his family seems like a sign of good commitment, but I have the feeling that letting things unanswered may start creating insecurities, then resentments, then other escalations.
That said, please keep in mind that what I posted is my guessing on a relationship between two people I don't know.
I wish things between the two of you grow well enough so you don't feel the need to inquire outside.
Oh for cryin out loud.
he was telling me the whole time his parents were just telling him the reasons why they can’t talk to him, and why they have blocked him, trying to get him to see where they are coming from. trying to get him to see their truth.
Whilst I am sure that is what they did, it is total nonsense that they needed to do so. He knows exactly why they don't talk to him, as he has also been indoctrinated by their religion. There are no good reason why they cannot talk to him; it is unnatural and unscriptural. They mindlessly would have parroted Watchtower propaganda that shunning is loving, and it is to help him come back to Jehovah. What they didn't say is that deep down they know what they are doing is wrong but they don't have any choice in the matter.
What Paul said......