Before you go thinking that this is a 'minimus'-type thread, the title I have chosen is the title from the August 15, 2003 Watchtower.
The photos on the cover are of a young man (22ish). In the lower-left corner he is a basketball player. On the lower-right he is a business man apparently barking orders on the phone to one of his employees. On the top-right he is peering through a peep-hole looking at girls undressing in an all-girl college dormitory locker room (Just kidding! I wanted to make sure that you are really reading this!). Seriously, in the top-right corner he is peering through a microscope and he is wearing a white lab coat. In the center photo (which is two times bigger than the other three photos), the young man is either a Sears mannequin or he's giving a talk in the KH library (no microphone is visible). To quote from the show 'SESAME STREET', "Which of these kids is doing their own thing?...", the young man appears to be angry, serious, and/or bored with SECULAR work, but as the mannequin/JW he has a goofy, plastic smirk/smile (a smirkle???) on his face. Obviously, the WTS objective is to have your secular occupation be viewed as secondary to your JW aspirations because there is no greater way to be remembered than as a loyal, dedicated JW (plain ol' Publisher's need not apply!).
So, how does the WTS want you to be remembered? Oh, let us count the ways:
1) The day of one's death is greater than the day of one's birth. (Hey, I got an idea! Let's all celebrate DEATHdays instead of birthdays! We can eat REGULAR (non-unfermented) cake and grape juice. Besides, they can't call it unscriptural. They wouldn't know how to handle this!)
2) Our relationships with others are surely more significant than any other short-term achievements we may have in the world of sports or business. (How does the WTS get away with making an apple-to-orange comparison of "relationships with others" to ones professional achievements?)
3) Are you approachable or aloof? Kind or harsh? Flexible or excating? Warm and humane or cold and impersonal? A destructive critic or a constructive counselor? >Gee! I wish the WTS would ask THEMSELVES these same questions because......
4) ..."Can you look at yourself objectively and say that you have a fine reputation with other people and with God?" (Well, CAN you WTS???)
5) A papragraph talks about Nabal and how he was a jerk because he wasn't hospitable to David. "So, what kind of name did Nabal make for himself? The Bible record says that he was harsh and bad in his practices and a good-for-nothing fellow. His name means 'sensesless,' and he certainly lived up to it." (***Question: Why would his parents name him Nabal if it meant "senseless"???) Then, some gems...
6) "Would you like to be remembered that way? Are you harsh and unrelenting when dealing with others, especially if it appears that they are at a disadvantage?" (Hmm, ask those questions to the next person who has to face a judicial committee. Three against one. Or, ask those same questions when a JW finds out some "dirt" on the WTS and you try to confront the issues with the GovBod (or, even the local elders) ).
7) Stuff like this in another paragraph really get me ticked: "David and 400 of his men girded on their swords and set out to teach Nabal a lesson." ("Boooo-Hoo-Hoooo! I am David and Nabal disrespected me! I must go now and kick his ass (an maybe choke his chicken!") "Abigail, Nabal's wife, got to hear what had happened." Basically, she met David halfway with food and provisions and then David "softened up" (Yeah, right. "HA-HA! Nabal's wife likes me BETTER than her own hubby! This is BETTER than kicking Nabal's ass (or choking his chicken!") "Shortly after these events, Nabal died" (Yup! Probably had a heart attack when he found out that his own sold him out!). "David, recognizing Abigail's good qualities, then took her as his wife." (Uh-huh! Along with her pretty face and J-Lo booty and the delicious chicken and greens she made. What a snake that David was! Him and Abigail must have liked each other from the get-go and prayed that Nabal would die so that Abigail and David could hook-up legally this time. At least Jehovah did the killing instead of David himself (ala Bathsheba) ).
8) Abigail had a good reputation because she was "good in discretion," or "intelligent," sensible and practical. The paragraph continues: "Eventually she died". (Golly! For real???) By the way, on page 5 there is a picture of Abigail AND her large ass (her ass can even hold baskets of food). Even her ass has an ass (really, it's on page 5).
9) Peter was remembered for his very human weaknesses. "But he was humble enough to admit his failings. Do you have that virtue?" (No, WTS, I don't have that virtue. I don't make mistakes. My light, however, does get newer and brighter).
10) There are then several paragraphs about Jesus and what he is remembered for. Now, please read this and tell me if the WTS is describing itself: "When Jesus was on earth, the Jewish people were weighed down with religious rules and regulations that went beyond the requirements of the law. Their religious leaders were burdening people with heavy loads, while they themselves were not budging the loads with one of their fingers. What a contrast, therefore, was Jesus! People were refreshed when they associated with Jesus. He did not intimidate his disciples, so that they were afraid to express themselves. In fact, he asked questions to draw them out. (Is the WTS like Jesus or the Jewish religious leaders?)
11) "Christian overseers do well to ask themselves: 'Do I make the same impression on fellow believers? Do other elders really tell me what they believe, or do they hesitate to do so?' " (I guess only elders are allowed to speak their mind. You sisters and non-elders better just shut-up and take it).
12) "Unreasonableness only discourages frank and free discussion." (Everything that is spoken in the KH from the platform is scripted. Among JWs, when is any discussion ever "frank and free"???)
13) Is Jesus the next Dave Chappelle? According to one paragraph, Jesus was a regular Jerry Seinfeld: "Did Jesus have a sense of humor? Some readers may sense a touch of humor when they come across the passage where Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." (Hey, Jesus, maybe you ought to try telling some "momma" jokes). "Another example is the straw in a brother's eye but not obseving the rafter in one's own eye." (That's some side-splitting humor there, yesiree!) "No, Jesus was not a tight-lipped martinet."
14) "Jesus is remembered for his many humane qualities. He sets the standard for all who want to be his followers. How closely do you follow his example?" (How does the WTS view a person who grows up in the troof but wants to wait until turning 30 before he gets baptized? After all, isn't that what Jesus did?)
15) Finally, the article names THREE modern-day examples of people who died. Naturally, they ALL were JWs. The article failed to mention notable names like Gandhi, Princess Diana, and Martin Luther King. However, I guess their character is mud all because they weren't Dubs.