I need a good beating for what I did this morning

by freeman 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  garybuss

  Freeman, I did something very similar to my son who was about 23 at the time. I picked a different hill to die on though. I picked the blood medical treatment doctrine. I wanted to be sure in my own mind that if he decided to die rather than receive blood medical treatment, he did so after I had dome my best to instruct him of the error of the practice.

  I wanted to be sure if I ever stood over his casket it was not because I had failed to educate him about the blood policy and about the publishing corporation that issued the directions. It has all worked out for the best. I valued him and his life more than I valued my relationship with him. It's a gut wrenching choice for a father to make. It's a choice few but Jehovah's Witnesses ever need to face.

  I had my confrontation with him over 8 years ago. He has gone with them and stayed with them. My other sons have become closer to me and the void is filled. My life is full and I still do not regret my decision. I wish it could have turned out different, but as a father I had an ethical duty to inform my son when he placed himself in harm's way even if that information ended our relationship. I calculated it all out before I did it. I figured, either way I lose, but one way he might gain and the other way we both lose.
  
  I hope it all works out in a good way for you. Thanks for sharing the experience. GaryB
• 

  berylblue

  I don' t have anything to add either, except my most sincere affection during a difficult time
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  Let your son know you're worried about him and will always love him no matter what he decides to do.

  You should most certainly visit those boys in the hospital. It will set an example for your son. It will also fill a void for you.
• 

  ESTEE

  ((((Freeman))))

  Awwww....don't be so hard on yourself. I won't beat you...I'll give you hugs instead. It is human nature when we feel defensive in this kind of situation. That's what this example shows....your "human-ness"!!!

  I am being shunned by my two kids...My daughter works a few blocks from me, has asked me not to contact her.

  My son? He has moved away and did not even reveal where he is!! I don't even know what town/city/province!!!

  Their "conditional" love is very sick. The borg totally supports and enables this kind of love. It is very hurtful. They are too blinded and brainwashed to realize the dysfunctional nature of their (mis)treatment of shunned ones. By promoting ShunningTM, they are not dealing with their issues, that is why I say the borg is enabling dysfunction. And they are attempting to use emotional blackmail to "get us back into the borg". Thankfully, we have this forum so that we may have emotional support and not feel pressured to succumb to their sick tactics.

  And I didn't use one emoticon!!! Oooops!!!!

  (((((Hugs)))))

  ESTEE
• 

  AS IF

  Well I guess I'm odd man out here. I think it is good that you came on exactly the way you did Freeman. It shows passion. Passion is something everything in a relationship. It means you have feeling. Unlike the JW clonelike expression of nothingness, we who are finally of sound mind have feelings for things. After a certain amount of time it is going to come out. Maybe that is exactly what your son needs, after all do you have a sneaky suspicion that his troubles he is having perhaps could be attributed to the "LIE". We are humans. We are supposedly made in God's image (if you believe all that). Hey he's going to kill all his children, what's a little emotional outburst.

  On a more serious note, I do agree with the others that advise you to visit the boys. They have no one but family now. It will be good to see a friendly and caring face. If your "loving" wife won't tell you, find out elsewhere. Perhaps just seeing that there is someone from there former lives that still does give a damn will help them get on the right path. (not the narrow one). Good luck! I hope your son realizes he can't find the answer to your question, and comes to you for advice as you sound like you are a godd man and will steer him well.

  Take care,

  AS IF I SHUN!!
• 

  waiting

  Well.........Freeman?

  How's it going? huh? huh?

  Hope you found where the unlucky boys are?

  Let us know, ok?

  waiting
• 

  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  Why apologise????????

  If your son is a good jw then he won't mind getting yelled at by some elder at some point.

  I had an elder yell at me because I got upset and started crying while discussing my childs sexual abuse. I also got yelled at by the same elder when I denied the slanderous comment I'm suppose to have made about a brother, which led to my df'ing. I also got yelled at in my JC. And my husband got yelled at when meeting with 2 elders on my behalf to say we had moved congregations because of the relentless harsh treatment I was receiving from them.

  So it seems that yelling is ok.

  And does the WTS ever apologise for anything?????????

  Why would your son expect an apology?

  Sorry if I sound a bit sarcastic and cynical............but hey, I was once a JW.

  Smile and keep happy.

  Cheers, Bliss.
• 

  jgnat

  I think it is good to have an outburst once in a while, when you see a grave injustice.

  That said, you know your son is fragile. My boy is schizophrenic. I, too, am careful what I say, as I do not want to trigger anxiety or extreme behavior. Having a child with a mental illness puts an extra burden on the parent. And I feel extra guilt if I slip. I am often unsure if I am any help at all.

  You can kick yourself around the block if you want to. Parenting is the most guilt-producing occupation, after all. But I think you are better off forgiving yourself. If you have an opportunity, it might be good to have your son evaluated to get a proper diagnosis.