No longer wanting to attend meetings

by breezy 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    Welcome.

    SL

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer

    One approach is to express the toll participation is causing.

    Tell them what it feels like to have learned the religious history you'd accepted is different from what you learned when looking up that very history as recorded by the religion itself. For example, recently a GB member said that JWs back in 1914 got it right about what occurred invisibly in the year 1914. Nothing could be further from the truth. What JWs (Bible Students) believed and published about 1914 during and before 1914 is nothing like what is taught today about 1914. Then there are all the unanswered questions about how its scriptural to shun JWs for accepting transfusion of one product rendered from blood but not proper to shun a JW for accepting another product rendered from blood. Then there's the religion's history of failing to have an adequate policy to protect children from pedophiles. Then there's the religion's history of lambasting other religious movements when they make false predictions, yet fail to be as candid about their own false predictions.

    Unless a person wants to live a life intellectually hiding under rocks there is no way to intelligently overlook these things. Oh, and don't forget to mention what it feels like to be made to feel some questions are best left unasked, even when answers are essential to an important biblical position. It's unhealthy to live like this, that is unless a person gets comfort from being an intellectual cave-dweller.

    ___

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    @ Breezy...

    So many here wish they'd done what you just did.

  • breezy
    breezy

    Hey everyone! Thank you for the support. Its really nice to see people that have been in the same position as myself and the encouragement that is given to get out.

    I think being able to stop a conversation that can potentially lead to an argument is what im gonna have to learn to control. I'm a very calm person but i fight for the stuff i believe in and sometimes conversations can take a turn for the worst so i will have know when to stop a conversation before it escalates and makes things worse.

    Family is important to me and i want them to be happy no matter what decisions they make in life and i just want them to see feel the same way about me, whether i go to the meetings or not. Going to the meetings is not what shaped my personality. I have a big heart and i always put people's best interest before my own and i just hope they can see that me not going to the meetings anymore doesn't change anything. Just tonight my mom told me that i was dividing the family and in my head im like.... " how? someone doesn't become a bad person just because he stops going to the hall. "

    Anyways, a big adjustment period is heading my way haha

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I don't have your situation and I really didn't use scriptures when talking with JW family, except to say that I should be examining the doctrine for myself as the Bereans did.

    I suggest taking a hard look at jwfacts.com to aid you in talking to your folks.

    Three great areas for preparing yourself are
    1. 15 minute guide to truth: http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/15-minute-guide-to-truth.php

    2. Is it Truth? : http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/truth.php

    3. Fear and Mind Control: http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/fear-cult-mind-control.php

    Try not to say "mind control" this early with your discussion, but talk about the fear of questioning anything they say.

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    Hi Breezy,

    Welcome, first of all, if you are living under your parents roof and you are still dependent on them, the pressure gets harder. If you are employed, and financially capable in providing for yourself, then it gets easier for you to get your independence. If it's the latter, move out.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot
    Hi there breezy! Welcome to the forum. Hang around, there's lots to learn. Every day you learn something will make you gladder that you left.
  • just fine
    just fine

    Plan your escape, get your own place.

    You don't have to defend anything to anyone. And just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you have to answer it.

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