Do JW wedding vows provide a "way out"?

by Gopher 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    As many of you know, I just got married for a second time about two weeks ago.

    I noticed a sharp distinction in the marriage vows as read to us by a justice of the peace when compared to the vows written by the WT Society for JW weddings.

    The traditional vow, as read by the JOP, included the phrase "I take (insert name), (insert good and bad circumstances), until DEATH DO US PART".

    The JW vow says something to this effect: "I take (insert name), (insert other stuff), AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LIVE TOGETHER UNDER (or "according to") GOD'S MARITAL ARRANGEMENT."

    The traditional vow sounds quite permanent to me. But what does this "as long as we live together...under God's marital arrangement" mean? Does it mean that a person can choose not to live together and get out? Or might it mean that God will some day discontinue his marital arrangement? (Free sex for everyone! Or, no sex at all!)

    What do you think? Did I notice something weird, or am I just being picky?

  • Scully
    Scully

    The one thing I absolutely HATED about the JW vows was the part reserved strictly for the wife's vow: to deeply respect the husband. The husband, apparently, was not expected - by God or anyone else - to show respect for his wife.

    That's an interesting point you make though, Gopher. I hadn't really thought of it that way before.

    Love, Scully

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir

    ...a way out if one of them "leaves Jehovah's organization", yes...

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    I think, and I'm not sure about this, but I recall my parents talking about it. My mom was always looking to divorce my dad, because the whole marriage was hard for both of them - anyway, she was reading that and hoped it meant that in the New System marriage would eventually be abolished by Jehovah and she could leave my dad.

    It was sick.

    CZAR

  • peacefulpete
    peacefulpete

    Yes back in the 70's they changed the vows a couple times,reflecting a difference of opinion about marriage in the "new world" and marriage to "annointed" ones. The current vows include the part," as long as we shall live together on earth, according to god's marrital arrangement." This seemed to satisfy all, due to it's ambiguity. Presently (post Fred Franz) they hold that marriage and procreation will cease when the earth is full. I had passionate discussions about this with Gangus years ago.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Gopher, I have seen only this in writing but lots of rumors abounded in the years before 1975 and many got married because they thought there would be no marriage in the new system..

    Note the marriage vow in 1952:

    6/15/52 WT p 363 The Marriage Ceremony


    The minister will then ask the man to repeat after him:

    "I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement."

    Then the minister will ask the woman to repeat after him:

    "I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement."

    Notice it in 1969:

    3/15/69 WT p174-5

    The vow in the marriage ceremony that is recommended by the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society for the man may be worded like this: "I take you to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement." The vow made by the prospective wife states: "I take you to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement."

    This was the WTS way to deal with the many questions caused by the 1952 vow:

    8/1/52 WT p 478 Questions from Readers


    The June 15 Watchtower on "The Marriage Ceremony", arranges for the man getting married to repeat after the minister that he will love and cherish his wife "for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement". What is meant by the words "until the divine termination of the marital arrangement"?—L. K., New York.

    Some have speculated on that phrase, saying that it means until the marriage is Scripturally terminated by a divorce on the grounds of adultery. But no such unhappy conclusion of the marriage would be envisioned at the happy time of the marriage ceremony. That is not a termination initiated by God, but is a tragic one brought about by the uncleanness of the adulterous one. Others have interpreted the expression to mean when an anointed mate of one of the earthly class is finally taken to heaven to reign with Christ. The physical death of the anointed partner terminates such marriage. So that is not the thought intended. Nor should it be taken, as still others have taken it, to definitely mean that the marriage will end when the divine mandate to fill the earth will have been accomplished.

    The expression is used merely to cover a possibility, to allow for any future termination that may come about through the divine providence. When the mandate to fill the earth is fulfilled, when childbearing ceases, the marriage partners may continue their association together as life companions, or they may not, depending upon the divine will at that future, distant time. We cannot say at this time what divine providence will arrange in the distant future in the new world. So this expression merely allows for some future action on the part of God that may terminate the marital arrangement, but it does not mean that such a divine termination will actually take place. We leave that entirely with the Lord for his future action, and the expression is included to show that if such future action is ever taken then all couples will gladly comply with the divine will as it is revealed at that distant time.

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Gopher, you have it wrong, its:

    Free sex for some, small American flags for others!!!

    with (no) apologies to the Simpson's

  • AlanF
    AlanF

    Yet another complete and conclusive post, Blondie!

    For as long as I can remember, I understood the phrase in question to simply be an allowance for all possiblities. No big deal.

    The phrase strongly reflects the Watchtower's belief that "the end" will come in the lifetimes of people alive today.

    AlanF

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    Well, I always tell my wife that "we're just friends". Perhaps yet one day I will be right.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Thanks for everyone's comments. Thanks for the perspective, Pete, and for that great research, Blondie!

    Alan you said:

    The phrase strongly reflects the Watchtower's belief that "the end" will come in the lifetimes of people alive today.

    But what happens when the end DOESN'T come? The ambiguity of the phrase just bugs me. I just liked the traditional vows including "till death do us part" that I repeated a couple weeks ago because it really makes you think about the finality of what you're doing. Not that JW's don't take their wedding vows seriously. Most of them. But I digress.

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