well this really sucks

by SpiceItUp 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • breal
    breal

    Hi Spice,

    I am truly sorry to hear about your friend. I lost a very close friend to cancer last year. It was very sudden.

    Here is a link from the Canadian Cancer Society on how to help someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. I am sure if you contact your local cancer society they would have information for you as well.

    http://www.cancer.ca/ccs/internet/standard/0,2704,3172_369341__langId-en,00.html

    Sounds like just by being with your friend you are helping.

    Breal.

  • BONEZZ
    BONEZZ

    Hi Spice...

    Sorry about your friend. I was diagnosed with big C in December 2002 ...had a fast growing lump...about the size of a golf ball when they took it out. It was near my lymph glands but thankfully did not get in them. Surgeon removed it and I am now a 7-month survivor. It's damn scary. I also had a pre-cancerous lump cut out of my chest...and I have two more in my lymph nodes that they're not concerned with right now because there is no movement or growth..so they're prob benign (knocking on wood-which is against dub rules). Hang in there. There are a lot more success stories now than a few years ago. Also, pick up Lance Armstrong's book...he had testicular cancer that spread to his brain. His is a fabulous success story, more about his cancer than his bike career. Get involved with other survivors...Good luck (oops forbidden dubbie phrase) to you and your friend. Odds are better than ever now.

    -BONEZZ

  • asleif_dufansdottir
    asleif_dufansdottir
    You ever have one of those things that happen to you that just leaves you speechless.

    Yes. This morning. My office mates were discussing a news bulletin about the interstate near here being closed down because a woman had been killed by someone dropping a brick off an overpass.

    Then I got an email from a friend, saying it was someone I knew. I didn't know her really well. She was a friend of a friend. Actually, she was close to several of my friends. She was always happy and so nice. She was getting married in April and she and her fiance had just put a deposit down on an apartment yesterday. They'd begun to discuss having a baby. They were on their way to work (they work together and he was driving) when a landscaping brick was thrown off the overpass and came through the windshield and hit her in the face. He drove to the hospital immediately but she was pronounced dead.

    What can you say when you find out something like that??

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother
    What can you say when you find out something like that??

    Wow! that is terrible, I dont know what to say either.

    I suppose, like Spice, all one can do is to be a friend to the person that is suffering. Just knowing that somebody cares must be worth so much .

    I know what my dub relatives would say, and that comforts those who believe them, but we have to deal with realities , not wishful thinking. Whether it is illness or sudden death , a human hand of comfort means an awful lot

  • johnathanseagull
    johnathanseagull

    Hi Spice

    many different responses here......I'm nearing the end of seeing my non dub sister battle with liver cancer, it's been a long long two and a half year road, the ups and downs are heartbreaking not to mention the emotional turmoil with our dub family as you could imagine........... this week she went on morphine for the pain......any advice? just be there my friend, just be there. my thoughts are with you

    Jgull :(

  • Francois
    Francois

    What kind of cancer does your friend have?

    The only advice I can give is for you to stick tight to your friend, like glue, until they shoot through to the other side where they will be waiting for you. If you don't, you may feel guilty for the rest of your life. So hang in with your friend, he doesn't have a choice, you do.

    I know the feeling. I had malignant melanoma five and a half years ago. I've been NED ever since. But I know who my real friends are now.

  • Been there
    Been there

    Spice,

    Be a friend to hear their worries about the tests to come. Be there for them while they wait for the results. Not all lumps are cancer. Not all cancers are deadly. They are making great progress with the treatment of cancer. My neighbour next door had a lump between his knee and calf 5 1/2 years ago. It was cancer in the muscle. They removed it all, no chemo or radiation. He is cancer free. He had two small kids to raise on his own. So it is not always fatal. They have come along, long way. It is not rosy for all though. Many do not make it and I am sorry for all the ones here who have lost loved ones. I know the pain.

    Try to keep your friend calm untill they have diagnosed it as cancer. If it is, then worry.

  • myself
    myself

    Spice, many times words aren't necessary, it is just being there that is important.

    On a survivors note: my brother's girlfriend has a beautiful 18 month old daughter. They weren't sure if the tumor (cancer) was operable or not. The surgery was a success, and her beautiful blond hair is growing back. They went to a survivors rally in June.

    I was thinking of her today as I went thru a McD's drive thru, and of all the help that the McDonald's foundation has done in housing the families of cancer victims.

  • SpiceItUp
    SpiceItUp

    Thanks again for all your thoughts and suggestions.

    I guess I am trying to prepare myself for the worst but staying hopeful that it will never come to that.

    It does help knowing that we have moved much more forward in treatments with cancer. I am glad there are so many survivor stories. I would like to give a (((hug))) to those that have lost someone.

    asleif - I agree that words do not describe the tragedy that recently touched your life. I read it earlier, and the only thing I could think about, was telling the one I love how much he means to me because life can be ever so short.

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