My 12yr old today said I've made her miss out on having a normal childhood And i felt sick when she said it coz I know it's true.
Ouch...I almost shed a tear jrjw. I've been there too and felt the urge to apologize. My oldest was almost 13 when we started our fade but believe me... things will get better. She's 16 now and happier than ever.
Like dubstepped said...
It's good to vent all the emotions that you can have during the process of awakening but please, don't blame yourself, blame the Borg. Accept the pain, others have felt it too, many tears have been shed. You all will soon learn to enjoy your freedom more and more...just give it time.
JRJW- I understand how you feel frustrated at the losses you experienced while being a JW. Lost time and experiencing birthdays with your children- but one thing about it - is by living each day of your life now like it's a new beginning with new opportunities for positive experiences - the pain of those losses will with time gradually fade into the background. We've all been there too, we are here for you. Hang in there, take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I think and I'm sure sociologists would agree that celebrating family and friend's birthdays are a help to bond relationships, being a social interaction of love and respect for another person.
Jesus greatest Commandment was to love one another is that not correct ?
I had a conversation with my son (when he was around 30) after I had faded out. I wanted to see if he harbored any ill will towards me for 'depriving' him of a normal childhood. I was a convert, he was brought up a Jw, but eventually drifted off on his own in his early 20's.
He was ok with it and didn't blame me for anything. I honestly think it bothers me more than him. I know he would have liked to play team sports in high school.
Just be upfront about it and admit it was a mistake. Our experience with the JW's wasn't bad, just a case of lost opportunities.
Thanks everyone all I can do is focus on making her teenage years better and letting my young son have good times
Yes JrJw not too late to plan special things, get togethers for her, begin celebrating not only the regular things, but other stuff as well. Good report card, even one good grade, make a big deal out of her effort and work.
Planning a board game night for her and friends that she chooses to come over. Spend the nights, etc.
"the more I'm learning the more ill its making me feel that I believed the wts"
Me, too!!! My wife and I never had children because of having been JWs, however, we are sad for ourselves that we missed out on special occasions such as Christmas for decades. We are going to try to make up for it, though.
JD Diehl, I'm sending you a PM. You implied on your post on this thread that your parents are no longer JWs. I'd like to know why. I'm interested in the reasons that people leave JWdom because I'm curious its future, and I have relatives still in.
@Jrjw and @redpilltwice Here's what I completey respect and admire about you two: you're both parents who have the humility and compassion to look your children in the eye and say "I had it wrong. I am so sorry."
@redpilltwice, you were an elder, yet you've shed whatever arrogance and clout you must have felt back in WT land to see things from your children's perspective. They are so fortunate to have a compassionate and sensitive father like you.
@Jrjw Your daughter could be far worse off. She could have a mother who is just like her father. Fortunately, you're the one parent who is giving her a shot at real life. She's consciously lost a decade. Now, the two of you can spend the rest of your lives making up for it together.
I can't tell you all how painful it is to be the daughter of two dogmatic parents who, even in the face of damning evidence that the WT is a corrupt entity that has been LYING to them, are more interested in saving face and being "right" than salvaging their relationship with me.
May I suggest you have a burning of the clothes the frumpy dull coloured hideous things that are required wearing for girls to kh and buy the girl some nice colourful clothes to wear. I may be an old grandad but I gather girls like to dress bright.
Zeb - i think she'd njoy a burning of the books more than the clothes coz she has some stunning colourful dresses. Some of her skirts are old fashioned and she'll be happy to see those go. She's always hated studying the literature.
Jo-ho - I hope your parent's wake up soon and realise that you're more important than the wts. Its heartbreaking reading about them breaking up families just coz you believe differently to what wts/GB say. For years I never believed my mam who isn't a jw that jws break families up, coz they brainwash you with the opposite at the meetings. I really feel your pain