Disgusted

by Jrjw 20 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Jrjw

  I've on my been on this forum for a few weeks but the more I'm learning the more ill its making me feel that I believed the wts. My 12yr old today said I've made her miss out on having a normal childhood And i felt sick when she said it coz I know it's true. I've been telling my dad today the things I've learned that wts had lied about and about the child abuse and he's disgusted too especially coz he's missed out on 12 years of being able to celebrate birthdays with us. We're gonna have a party for my daughter's 13th to make it up to her.
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  Jrjw

  It's supposed to say I've only been on not I've on my been on. My Predictive text is terrible
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  EverApostate

  Thanking Jehovah that I became a JW only at age 28 and had a free, happy childhood.
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  Jrjw

  I was 22 so I had a happy free childhood too and I've always felt cruel not being able to give my kids the same coz the wts/GB says so
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  Ding

  Please don't guilt yourself or each other for the mistakes you made by believing the WT.

  You thought you were doing the right thing.

  Acknowledge and apologize for your errors and move forward.

  Focus on creating a better present and future.

  In addition to celebrating birthdays, if you want to catch up for lost opportunities, you might try adding in celebrations of half-birthdays six months after each family member's birthday.

  Likewise, if you want to catch up on missed holidays, why not pick / create your own days and have extra observances?

  You can celebrate whatever and whenever you want -- Jesus, general thankfulness to God, friendships, good health, freedom, milestones, etc.

  You can create your own traditions in addition to observing the days everyone else does.

  Let your daughter pick some of these extra things to celebrate.
  

  It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

  The main thing is to celebrate and spend quality time with family and friends.
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  EverApostate

  Jrjw, Sorry to hear that. Even a friend of mine who came out, had the same Situation.

  His son, who was raised in the cult for 15 years, now casually accuses him of ruining his childhood in the cult.
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  dubstepped

  Your intentions were good. You're going to go through the stages of grief similar to what happens when someone close to you dies. It is a process. Feel free to come here and vent, cry, etc. We all go through our own process. I'm sorry you have that regret. You can't get the past back but you can make the present and future outshine it.
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  Jrjw

  Its horrible felling betrayed by the society I so strongly believed in at one point, can't get my head around it at moment coz the lies I'm learning they told are all new to me
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  dubstepped

  It is a terrible betrayal. I told my wife at one point that it felt like I was pranked for three decades. It is a terrible feeling. I've been out for two years and can't believe I ever believed that mess, though I was taught it as a kid and stood little chance.

  I might encourage you to pace yourself as you do this. Then again, I didn't, but we all handle things differently. Just take care of yourself.
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  JD Diehl

  I totally understand how that feels. My parents raised me and my brothers as JW's up until the last year and that was when I turned 17. I'm not sure if this will help you in your situation, but my parents tried to make it up to us by putting Christmas lights around our house all year long, it definitely helped us feel like we were getting back our missed holidays:)