What was you JC Meeting like?

sandy

(Inspired from Caspian's thread) I hope the stories help Rebel.

I was just wondering if any of you would like to share the details of your JC meeting.

I remember mine so well. I was about 22 years old when I went to a JW relative of mine and broke my silence about sexual abuse I suffered as a child.

At this point I was involved in some normal young adult behavior (sex, drugs & rock n' roll) but because of my religious upbringing I was going crazy over it all.

Well somebody took the liberty of telling the elders I wanted to talk to them about my devious behavior that I never admitted to anybody. I thought I was going to talk to the elders about the sexual abuse.

Well during the JC meeting I confessed everything (like an idiot). The elders in their infinite wisdom spared me from the rod of DF'ng. (Thank my lucky stars) I started attending the meetings and going out on field service (Again like an idiot). Before long (2-3 months) they restored my answering privileges. (Oh Joy!) Actually, I felt pressured to answer just to show the elders I was a good JW again (Like, Whatever!)

By the 4th or 5th month of my returning of the flock I faded out which brings me to present day.

If it were not for my family I would DA myself or at least let them DF me. I think I am finally working up the courage for this. The only ones who will shun me are my self-righteous siblings.

Aztec

Sandy, my story is a bit similar. I was just talking about this with Banshee last night. I hope she sees this thread.

I stopped regularly attending meetings when I was 19 as a result of a rape. I blamed myself completly and didn't feel worthy of love. I fell of the jw map for about 3 years. In the meantime I was partying alot and being a good little heathen. When I was unwed and suddenly had a son at the age of 22 and didn't try to hide him it became rather obvious that I'd been up to something. I was hauled into a JC with my little baby in tow. I confessed everything, balled my eyes out, and managed to only get reproved. Needless to say I was extremly uncomfortable in the congregation as everyone knew. I barely attended meetings after that. For now, I'm quite comfortable being a fade away. If I thought my father would still talk to me I would just D'A myself.

~Aztec

myself

I went through an emotionally abusive marraige, the final straw was when it turned into physical abuse. I left and divorced him. I remarried (I was told by everyone family included that if my ex fell into temptation that I would be bloodguilty), I figured at least that would free my ex to remarry. The abuse was well hidden. I was called to return to my former congregation for a JC and I went. They did not want to hear about the abuse I had been thru, my ex even would have admitted it. When I tried to go into detail, they just kept saying that they did not want to hear any details. They were more concerned that I didn't regret my life with my new husband, and said our marraige would not be recognized by the congregation.

I stayed out about four years with pretty much just Memorial attendance and some of the assemblies. Finally I was contacted by someone in our area (I knew him and his family for years) Through his encouragement I went back. When it came time for reinstatement I met with the local JC and they were very supportive and understanding, they let me totally unload, and then one of them even thanked me for being so open about it. I was reinstated but it wasn't long before I faded. My sister through careful questioning about my beliefs raised a few questions for me to research, and I knew I would never go back. Free at last!!!

rocketman

They did not want to hear about the abuse I had been thru, my ex even would have admitted it. When I tried to go into detail, they just kept saying that they did not want to hear any details. They were more concerned that I didn't regret my life with my new husband, and said our marraige would not be recognized by the congregation.

They treat abuse very lightly, and often blame the wife.

Myself, I'm sorry you had to endure so much. It sounds like the second JC that heard the reinstatement was at least somewhat kidn and helpful. Too bad that didn't happen the first time around.

myself

Thank you rocketman, the second comittee is probably one of the main reasons that I don't hate JW's as individuals, I abhor the organization and what it stands for.

oldcrowwoman

My experience was of betrayal, abandonment and total lack of understanding in dealing with domestic abuse.

A nightmare from hell. I came out battered. I went there for support. I said I needed out. There is no way this relationship could continue. I said I would be pushing daisies up somewhere. They wanted us to date to rekindle our relationship and the last 14 yrs pushed aside.

I took it further and taking the risk exposing rapes. I figure what did I have to lose and layed the cards on the table. The one responses I was told "well you know how men are"? Emotionally I fell off the chair and having the wind knocked out me. I refused to memorize quotes from the bible. I mange to pull this one up out my brain. Paraphrase about a man loving himself as he does towards his wife. Something like that!! There were no reponse. I had them by the balls!!!! If they were christains how could they condone this kind of behavior.

So in reality I was pushed out. I started smoking to get myself disfellowship. It would have been against my valves to go out and have affair.

After the divorce was final I walked into the Kingdom Hall on a Sunday am. Which felt like I was walking into a freezer everybody was gathered at the hall. Went straight to the back and threw my papers on the desk in front of the elders. To this day I don't know what I said. I knew I was flaming hot~~~~~~~~~~. Picked up the papers and walked out of the Kingdom hall . As I was walking out felt like the furnace was on.

I wrote a letter and DA'ed myself.

I did run into one of the elder's at the store. I told him my children suffered abuse from their Father. The court ordered no visitation. The girls were going to meetings still. I needed to know they would be safe and not to have contact with the children.

The elder did apologized to me for pushing me out.(one of seven) And understood they were manipulated by the ex. I knew if I layed in the weeds the truth would come through. I said to him I hear your apololgy but I can't accept it. I was burned. I don't know if I can forgive or forget??

OCW

seedy3

What was you JC Meeting like?

I dunno, I never showed up.

Seedy

myself

((((((((((OCW)))))))))))

I took it further and taking the risk exposing rapes. I figure what did I have to lose and layed the cards on the table. The one responses I was told "well you know how men are"?

I would have guessed their reply would be that you had to give him his "marital due" They play at being counselers but they really have no clue. They usually have cookie cutter resposes to problems, and have no idea the harm they are causing.

sandy

The elders in my old congregation were made up of idiots as well.

They were afraid to help me deal with my sexual abuse. I do not blame them for that in particular. What bothered me was the fact that they said they were going to help me. A couple of them said they would do some research for me and give me the information. They never did.

One elder made it a point one time to come up to me and ask me how I was doing. The others I could tell were too uncomfortable to even say hello.

After 2 to 3 months I couldn't stand to be at the meetings. I felt like people knew my situation, especially this one family in particular whose father (elder) was guilty of passing along details of JC meetings to his bigmouth wife. After she heard the information it was only a matter of days before many more knew.

I would get these looks from the elder's wife that said to me: oh you poor thing. And the looks from the elder's daughter were like: oh my god how disgusting.

Finally a comment (that fit my situation) during a WT study by the Elder's daughter and a brief glance in my direction pushed me out the door for good.

ikhandi

I simply refused to give them the answers they were looking for? Its really stupid to ask a question you already know the answer too! It pissed them off entirely. I honestly believed that collectively that had made the decision to DF before I sat foot in the hall that night. Oh well what's done is done! Thank God I am OUT!!!!!!!!!!

What was you JC Meeting like?

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