What’s your JW history?
Your experience is not unique. I too had to go on permanent disability, and as a result came off as an elder. It was during this period that I discovered that my former friends, elders, and brothers couldn't give a damn about me as a person since I was no longer able to attend meetings or share in the field service. I became the invisible Man.
The fact that I already had serious doubts about the organisation as I had seen things from the inside, and then could not believe the lies being spun by those who had never liked me on the Body of Elders as to why I was no longer serving, made my departure arrive faster than I had planned.
My biggest regret is the number of years which I dedicated to this crap! I wish you well my friend on your journey. The more you read the more you will discover that is shocking about an organisation that you once believed in fully.
Welcome to the forum. I walked away years ago..I also remember the guilt tripping about pioneering but I worked full time and was judged by everybody for it. Glad now that I never listened!
I couldn’t tolerate the mentality there of how you are expected to tolerate being wronged.. I had no intention of being victimized in any way by my so-called brothers and sisters so I kept people at arms length. The mentality of people there with no boundaries and thinking they can do anything and be forgiven for it makes it likely this is BOUND to happen sooner or later. Well, I wasn’t having it. There were other things wrong as well.
When the 1995 changed teaching on Generation came out, that was the proverbial last straw.. I knew my time in the JW religion was over and I ‘faded’ a few years later.. It’s been over eighteen years now.
"I have received no spiritual or other help of any kind"... inactive 1.
I have found that when you are down you are bad news. and if there is any org that follows this maxim;
out of sight out of mind it is the wt.
We had a little one who was dying in hospital but the nearest elder could not visit my wife there as he had parts to prepare for the convention.( A convention part oh wow what a..privilege! blather blather blah blah blah)
A warm welcome aboard. There is lots of types hear some of us a bit crazy, some like to dig into evolution and the deep things of "days vs years" others are wounded and need TLC. but we are all humans.
Live long and prosper in wisdom health and love.
Welcome! Your story is familiar. Out of sight out of mind is the norm. Have you noticed how your true, unconditional friends for life are in your congregation and when you move house and congregations you get a whole new bunch of true, unconditional friends and never see the ones from the previous congregation? This is the case even if you only move to the neighboring congregation a few minutes away.
There are unfortunately no true, unconditional friends in this cult. "Friends" are ones that can be seen to be spiritual by their attendance at the meetings and out field service. When you are no longer seen, it is assumed you have fallen away and are no longer considered fit association.
At first this is hard to deal with and you experience depression and then anger. Eventually you will come to a place where you feel free and happy that they leave you alone and you can spend time pursuing friendships with people who like you just the way you are.
Having friends has been a real challenge. I'm single and not "free" to remarry. I'm 64 years old. No one wants to associate with me. I tried and tried to make friends to no avail. I gave up. Love is preached but rarely practiced especially if you have "special needs".
I became associated in 1959. Baptized in 1971. I had a father who was authoritarian. He was physically abusive to me especially out of 5 kids. I learned to dislike family study, going in service, going to meetings etc. It was never enjoyable. I did it because it was expected. I followed the crowd. I've seen so much favoritism, hypocrisy that certain theocratic phrases turn my stomach. An organization based on real love it is not. Every expression of love seems to be for show to get attention which is opposite of Jesus who said make gifts of mercy in secret.
It's sad that one cannot find practical help with the confines of the WT. I love Jehovah very much but cannot reconcile that elders are allowed to bully people around and seem to get away with it. If it weren't for one such elder I would have been spared marrying the woman who deep down didn't love me and didn't want to marry me but put on a pretense of marrying me because of ugly threats made by an elder who claimed to be annointed. He was a bully in every sense of the word. Not a nice person. Why are men who leave so much collateral damage allowed to remain in a dangerous position of authority?
That’s the nature of cults.
If they were allowed to count the time to visit brothers in need, they would be lining up to visit you!