Some bad advice here.Stay away from the Paxil .
Old board member here..an anonymous thread; Depression-a little help please
by aspiration 41 Replies latest jw friends
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aspiration
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I'm struggling mightily with this, I even had trouble talking about this anonymously.
I just want to be able to pick up the phone when my friends call me. I haven't talked to one friend in months because I just don't have the energy to talk anymore.
Thanks for your valuable advice. I will call my doctor in a bit, and make an appointment.
ladylee,
I acutally have had some medical tests this year, and for the most part, shows that I'm as healthy as a horse. Who knows, though?
Everyone,
thank you so much. I'll be emailing some of you in a bit. I'd like to get a handle on this thing.
aspiration
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freein89
Dear Aspiration,
glad to hear you are going to the doc. we are all rooting for you. They test you for thyroid problems, I guess that can have a big impact on your emotions. Make sure that gets done if you haven't already. Sounds like you are ready to take charge, perhaps posting was your first step. It always helps to know people care.
Deb
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kgfreeperson
I have nothing to add to this excellent advice--just wanted to say I'm holding you in my heart. I do have some idea of what you're going through too.
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PurpleV
When you go to the doctor ask for blood sugar testing. You may have low blood sugar or glucose intolerance. That would explain why the alcohol helps because it turns to sugar in the bloodstream.
(((HUGS)))
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outoftheorg
Very sorry and concerned about your problems.
There was a lot of good advice given here, to you. I recognise the symptoms you describe. It was much the same for me when I left the borg and at the same time had a divorce.
As others have stated, I would recommend a full medical check up, done with the possibility of depression in mind as the reason for the check up. Not just the usual physical.
Then I would go to a psychiatrist and tell him/her the full story of your recent life and stresses. If they put you on medication, I would seek out a group therapy session, dealing with the problems your psychiatrist suggest as causative.
At first, revealing your feelings and experiences to a group of strangers is somewhat difficult. But believe me, you will reach a point where it gives great relief to be able to do this with people that have no connections or emotional ties or issues with you. The insights that they may mention or that may pop up in your mind, are at times very revealing.
If the group you attend does not seem to fit your needs, ask the psyc. for info. on another.
I wouldn't put any burden or worry on your wife. But letting her know you are feeling down, without details may be acceptable and help you.
I know you must feel like hell, in ways you can not fully explain in words. Some of what you said makes me think of post traumatic stress disorder. This can be short lived or hang around for a while. This also can be helped with the right meds.
The alcohol will not help in the long run and will be devastating if it gets out of control.
Please do not put this off and think it to death. Get help as soon as possible. Having a bout of depression, can and does occur in strong and healthy people. Don't feel like you must be weak of lacking or not manly, in any way. Stress or severe loss or disapointment can cause a chemical imbalance and bring on depression in the strongest of people.
Wishing you and your family all the best that life has to offer. Hang in there my friend, you can beat this.
Outoftheorg (((((((((((((((Aspiration)))))))))))))
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drwtsn32
Aspiration,
I agree with some of the others on this board. It sounds like you have clinical depression.... where you just feel dead, depressed but there isn't really anything in your life that SHOULD be causing you to feel this way.
Medication could certainly help relieve this. I have people close to me who are on medication for depression and it can work wonders. I strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist.
Best of luck!
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happyout
Aspiration,
Thank you for sharing with us, and lots of good advice has been given already. I would just add that there are many physical illnesses which can masquerade as depression, so be sure you get full blood work, and also (if possible) a referral to a specialist who can test the chemicals in your brain for signs of imbalance. I have never actually had depression, but a friend of mine did, and the right medication straightened her right out.
Good luck to you, we are here for you whenever you need us.
Happyout
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LyinEyes
I can relate to the depression........boy I can relate. When I get depressed, sometimes it is different than other times I had depression. Sometimes I am so miserable I cry all the time. Sometimes, I just lose interest in things, and don't want to get out of my bed. I feel physically exhausted and when I try to think things out , I end up falling asleep.
In fact , I am going thru a case of it now....... even thou there is nothing in my life that is really bothering me, not exjw stuff, or family, I am sure mine is just a good case of the good ole chemical imbalance .
I am taking Wellbutrin right now, and it is not in the same class as the SSRI( Paxil, Zoloft , Prozac) , but it is doesnt make you gain weight , or sleep too much, it helps in those areas a bit. Plus it is not supposed to have the negative sexual side effects.
Prozac worked good for me too,,,,,but I prefer Wellbutrin.
I agree with everyone here , that you should like a classic case of some kind of depression,,,,,,there are so many kinds, that range from an everyday kind of blue mood, to severe crying, miserable kind of depression. Then there are mood disorders, such as Bipolar disorder, 1 and 2 , there are other mood disorders , can't think of the names, of those.
But the good thing is that all the antidepressants would would for depression, you just have to find the one that works best for you. The only draw back is waiting for them to start working. I have found that I can tell a difference really soon, when I take Wellbutrin because I immediately don't feel so tired, as it has a little eneregizing effect rather than making you more sleepy.
Go to the doctor and tell him or her how you are feeling, and maybe do some research on what kind of meds you might want to try, look at all the side effects and you and the doctor can find something that might just work the first try.
If you want to talk further you can email me at [email protected],,,,,,,,
By drinking the alcohol you are subconsciously self medicating yourself, it makes you feel better for a little while but it doesnt fix the chemical imbalance. And a chemical imbalance in your brain is no different from a diabetic having sugar imbalances, you can't talk your way out of that, you need medication usually for depression to balance those out, and usually meds and therapy go hand in hand.
Hope you make that appointment with the doctor as soon as possible. hugs Dede
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Big Tex
Aspiration
I think you are aware of the surface problems, i.e. alcohol and depression. Those are two very powerful problems. But what I'm hearing from you it sounds to me as if you are using the alcohol to numb some pretty strong pain. Depression can indeed manifest itself as the absence of feeling. I went through a year like that when I tried to "be a man" and suck it up to be a good little JW. So what you describe reminds me so much of that year to me.
You say you're over the JW issues and I beleive you. However, I don't think you're over other issues. I don't want to seem guilty of seeing child abuse everywhere but I can't help but feel that there is some long standing and very big issue that is pulling you down right now. Forgive me, and if you are not comfortable talking I certainly understand, but was there an experience in your childhood that was unusual, traumatic or caused you to learn how to stuff feelings? The reason I'm asking is that clearly there is some very very big feelings buried inside you right now. You don't know where to put them or how to deal with them, so it's almost as if your mind just puts a seal over it and packs it away. But in doing so, it also seals up all the good emotions, love of nature, reading and just a normal enjoyment of life. It's a heavy price to pay for avoiding dealing with these feelings.
Now I don't think this is a conscious decision on your part. I hear your frustration. I think this is deeper, perhaps even on a sub-conscious level that this burial is taking place. If I were in your position, and I was, I would seek out a good therapist. I would not be recommend anti-depressants as all that will do, in your case, is help you suppress feeling. And right now you need to work on bringing the feelings up, not rounding them off. The hard part for you is going to be facing something that is very hard for you to face. Otherwise there would be no need for your mind to suppress it.
The good news is I hear from you a tremendous desire to get past this situation. If you are going to seek counseling it will require YOU to do a lot of work. You can do it. Good lord, if I did it, anyone can.
I'm less concerned about the drinking, at this instant, than about seeing you discover what you have buried. You recognize you have a drinking problem, so I don't feel the need to say too much about that. I have a feeling you will take care of that on your own. Again I feel it shows what a tremendous lot of feelings you have buried that a drinking problem would be easier for you to deal with.
I hope I'm not making this bigger than it needs to be, or intimidating you. I really don't want to do that. It's just that your description of your life sounds so similar to me circa 1987. The point is, I got through it and so can you.
If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. I care, and so do a lot of others here.
Be well,
Chris