YES, my parents were great.
They did not use manipulation, anger, or yelling when dealing with the children or each other... EVER. It was a regular Leave it to Beaver househould. (Well, not quite, but almost.)
Do You Feel That Your Parents "Did a Good Job" Raising You?
by minimus 51 Replies latest jw friends
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Big Tex
No.
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DanTheMan
Both of my parents came from very dysfunctional families. They married because it was the thing good Catholics did. They did not raise us to be solid, independent adults, we were only there to play the role of good children in a good Catholic family. I never had a clue about life, I was so sheltered and babied growing up it was pathetic.
My life has been so stupid up to this point, I wonder if anything good is ever going to come of it. WAAAHHHHHHH I FEEL SO SORRY FOR MYSELF!!!! lol
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Hapgood
Hi Minimus, long time lurker, love your questions!
I wasn't raised a jw, so I didn't have the jw issues that some of you had to deal with. My parents were very loving, couldn't do enough for us. Sometimes they did without, just so we could have the things that all kids seem to need. My Mom and Dad were always there for us, they were kind but strick. I grew up in a nice middle-class neighborhood. My parents did an exceptional job in raising me. My Dad died 12 years ago, it still hurts, but I have such great memories. My Mom just turned 73 last week, I got to celebrate her birthday for the first time in years.
Hapgood
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teenyuck
I am so glad there are good, loving parents out there. I know that there are; I know some. I think most are. I hope most are. I think most are.
It is good to read these posts.
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maxwell
I think they did for the most part. They weren't perfect, but I never desired another set of parents. Despite being raised as a JW, they did provide me with all the physical necessities I needed and more for 22 years of my life. They gave me a stable living environment and I enjoyed the influence of both my mother and father. And as I saw one other poster mention, they actually taught me to think, which contributed to my leaving the JW.
My father is very smart. He's just got some blinders on concerning JW stuff. Most non-JW can sense that there's something wrong with JW, but very few have the knowledge or logical ability to articulate what might be wrong. Very few people who chose to engage my father in Biblical discussion in field service had the ability to defeat his logic. Of course, if they were satisfied with their position, there would be no reason for them to do the kind of research necessary for this. I can only remember one person in field service actually saying something that I felt my father didn't answer successfully.
Many of my parents lessons were NOT couched in JW terms. One of my fathers own personal pieces of wisdom, was "Son, always do what you feel is right". He would say this completely detached from JW doctrine. Another thing he told me was that 'A man doesn't make decisions based on what other people want him to do'. (Of course this applies to women to, but with my father and I, some things were just about the basic progression of a boy to a man.) So now that I've left, although my father disagrees with my decision, I think he respects it, and I respect his decision and I try to be respectful of other people around me. That's something my parents taught me and I think they would have taught me those basic human relations skills whether we were JW or not.
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Nosferatu
My parents raised me? I thought Jehovah did. The line my mother always used was "Don't do it for me, do it for Jehovah".
I know my mother was under the influence of the WTS, and she also had issues from her past. However, realizing this does NOT change history, and it never will. I gained a few good things from my parents, but I spent a lot of time working on myself, undoing a lot of the traits I was raised with, and I continue to do so. The way my parents raised me was very damaging to my self-esteem.
After I moved out, I realized that my parents aren't very nice people. All of my friends and (ex)girlfriends have noticed this as well. They are all quite amazed that I am so much different than my parents.
My mother believes that I turned out good and level-headed because I was raised by bible principles. She keeps telling me that she did a good job in raising me.
In answer to the question, I have to say NO.
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nilfun
Do You Feel That Your Parents "Did a Good Job" Raising You?
What kind of "job" my parents did on me doesn't matter anymore.
I'm gonna give myself what I need now. My parents don't owe me a damn thing.
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Swan
The dysfunctional child in me wants to protect my dysfunctional parents and say yes...
but the answer is No. Although they provided for my physical needs, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually they did not. On several key issues they failed miserably. I grew up not knowing many things that most parents teach their children. My mother gets higher marks than my father for trying, but she was the product of alcoholic parents. How could she raise her children properly when all of her life she avoided addressing her own issues with her parents? My father was an ostrich with his head in the sand as far as his children were concerned.
Am I upset with them? Yes. Do understand their foibles and I forgive them?. For the most part, yes. I have learned to be my own parent and look at them as adult children. Do I love them? Yes. Unconditionally. But they are still idiots.
Tammy
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Lady Lee
teenyuck
My mom admitted on the phone on day she was a bad mother....she expected me to say "no you weren't". I could not. I said "Yes, you were a bad mother. You should not have had children."
You did it again! Maybe we are related? That was always my cue to say "It's OK You did the best you could".
One day she fed me her pity-me line "I guess I was a terrible mother" and I answered "Yes you were"
She never said it again. It was a milestone for me to not fall into the care-taker role and make her feel good. As a mother she sucked big time.
Funny I used to think she was OK because she was better than my fahter. One day I was reading an article about torture techniques used on POWs in Japan during the war. Same things. Oh MY GOD. I was stunned. As horrible as it was on the POWs and everyone recognized this was torture my mother was doing this stuff to little kids.
OK I gotta stop now and go breathe