I put my burden on Jehovah, but he gave it back

by Nosferatu 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    I had a rough time at school as well. Us Witnesses would wait out in the "entrance hall" whilst the hymns and Lords prayer was being said, and then after the collective "amen" would go through the doors at the back of the school hall and take our places for the school announcements un-noticed. This however was not good enough for our deputy headteacher at the time, who had a strong dislike for JWs (I learnt this from the snide comments he would make whilst teaching us english in class) So he decided to make us 11 or 12 witnesses walk down one side of the hall once everyone had sat down, past the 5th and 6th forms who would hiss "Jobo, Jovo's, Jews etc" and stick there feet out, down to the front of the whole assembled school, before we could sit down. I did used to dread all the increased stick I got every morning and at break times

    Never once however did I blame Jehovah for this. That would be daft. I did however blame it on the deputy head (Thankyou Mr Green!) and the attitudes of a few kids who always seemed bigger than me.

  • nowisee
    nowisee

    dear nosferatu,

    i just want to say that i thought your story was so sad. lots of kids go through hell, jw kids seem to have it even worse for so many reasons. my childhood also was pretty unhappy.

    i am glad you are here, glad that your life is better and wishing you the best.

    nowisee

  • aunthill
    aunthill

    Oh, puh-leeze, uknowthetruth! "Everyone knows" that you're a self righteous pipsqueek who is much to perfect to be posting on this board. Now run along home like a good little dub before your PO finds out you have been lurking on a *horrors* apostate board and you get your perfect little self disfellowshipped.

    Back to the thread, Jehovah sure didn't help me when I was trying to be a good little dub myself, working a full time job, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry for 3 kids & unbelieving husband, trying to make 5 count 'em 5 meetings a week, get 10 hours in service every month (ha!). No, getting out of the bOrg was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

    Aunthill

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Nosferatu: oh hell yeah! Great thread, loved it and enjoyed reading your post, as well as others on here.

    For me, it was my unbearable yet constant battle with my sexuality.

    No need for details, but I tried my damnest to stave off my inclinations; yes, almost marrying a sister to 'overcome' my plight.

    I remember one evening, praying incessantly, crying my eyes out (I was pioneering at the time) and attending extra meetings/assemblies - yet, my pressure as a 21 year old frustrated male dealing with his inclinations - went unanswered. Thus my burden was still on me.

    Jehovah had better things to do; like.....nothing.

    Eventually, I gave up; considering Jehovah already had.

    Great thread Nosferatu.

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    Ray

    I'm sorry in my heart for all you penned in the above post. Scott

  • Francois
    Francois

    In school, beginning in the first grade, my prayer was that no one would notice the fact of my existence and Jehovah wouldn't even do that for me. I was so introverted and fearful that I wasn't really even present; I could stand in a group of students and virtually disappear. But you know, there were always a few students who were certainly Satan's spawn who could clearly read my vibes and they delighted in making my life hell.

    And so it was from the first grade to the tenth...a living hell with me praying for surcease every day and every day no answer.

    And then in the entrance loggia on the first day of the tenth grade, one of the school bullies cornered me along with my girlfriend. He meant to embarrass me in front of my girl and the entire student body that was present. It was do or die. To his everlasting surprise (and mine too I might add) I flew into him like a crazed carrot. Before I knew what was happening, I was sitting on his stomach reconfiguring his entire face. I was in a killing fury as ten years of avoidance, and stealth and misery came boiling out of me like bats roaring out of a cave at sunset. If my friends hadn't pulled me off, I might have killed the guy. As it was, he was knocked unconscious and had a broken nose, a broken and dislocated jaw, a broken collar bone, and his eyes were swollen shut, and it took three weeks for him to recover enough to come back to school. He gave me a wide berth for the next three years.

    From that time forward I have relied on my self. And that day I discovered the meaning of something I'd heard for years: A coward dies a thousand deaths. A brave man only one.

    Beware the quiet little guy in the corner.

  • ScoobySnax
    ScoobySnax

    Francois....... You never heard of "turn the other cheek" evidently you stand by dislocate it.

  • embalmed
    embalmed

    In 2nd grade, I prayed for Jehovah to help my mum overcome her depression. Eight years later, she's still battling.
    In 3rd grade, I prayed for Jehovah to stop the violent images in my mind. Still get them.
    In 4th grade, I prayed for help dealing with my shyness. It didn't start fading til a year after I stopped believing.
    In 5th grade, I prayed for a friend in the congregation cuz I was lonely. Still waiting.
    In 6th grade, I prayed for him to ease my dog's aggression. She was euthanised not long after.
    In 7th grade, I prayed for help coping with my only friend's move. I spent the next two years alone.
    In 8th grade, I prayed for him to let me know he was listening. Guess he wasn't. I stopped believing at this point.

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    I think uknowthetruth was being saucastic toward the jws. (did i spell that right? )

  • Hamas
    Hamas

    It looks as though our friend 'youknowthetruth' has left after a poor attempt at trying to change our minds.

    Wasn't he a silly little boy.

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