BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW JERSEY

by ashitaka 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Sent to me, thought I'd share..... BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW JERSEY

    Those of you in Pennsy will especially enjoy these.!!!!!!!

    1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.

    2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else.

    3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

    4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

    5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive body work. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

    6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

    7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

    8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

    9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

    10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.

    11. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of the high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

    12. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

    13. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

    14. In the New Jersey area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

    THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY!

    I highlighted the one that I thought most applied to me personally. Thank god for the Jersey Turnpike. 90 MPH is no big deal, as long as you let the State Troopers pass you when they're rushing to go off duty.

    ash

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    All I can say, now is AMEN!!!!!

    Nikita

    from Philly where they have driving rules all their own as well!

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    LOL...those are pretty good! The red light one makes sense..

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka
    from Philly where they have driving rules all their own as well!

    aye, double aye. Driving during philly rush hour is a hell of a different color.

    This is a common sight. See this about ten times a day (not necessarily to me):

    14. In the New Jersey area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

    Receive free, give free.

    ash

  • Michael3000
    Michael3000

    I agree, Ashitaka! That comes from a New Yorker, who cringes (or curses, depending on the situation) whenever I see those damn yellow license plates!

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Mike,

    I don't mind New Yorkers. They're fine. They keep up the speed (all New Yorkers except those damn church vans!) and they know how to drive in traffic. Pennsy's however....

    Hog the left hand lane driving at 70 MPH when the flow is 90MPH.

    Merge into your lane for no reason, causing you to slam on the brakes. They are oblivious to anyone else but themselves on Jersey roads.

    Most drive Ford F150's. Why? LOL

    Now, those are just generalities, but it's pretty common. New Yorkers are our brothers. Pennsy's are the nightmare cousins. (as to driving)

    Still, Pennsy's driving in Pennsy are fine. No problems there. It's just when they hit the turnpike, 287, the Parkway that the shit starts to bother me.

    A side note; some dipshit from Pennsy tipped over his damn motorcycle trailer on the turnpike this morning. Took me three hours to get to work this morning. UGH.

    ash

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    I cut my teeth learning to drive in NJ, which has come in pretty handy living here in Michigan!

    Whenever we're in a hurry, I tell my kids I'm gonna drive like a "Noo Yawker" (same thing, imo) and they know that means I'm taking that small spot that opened up between two cars in the lane next door, pulling a perfect slalom move, and makin' tracks.

    LOL here!

    outnfree

  • Shakita
    Shakita

    Ashi,

    Your brother gets his driving permit tomorrow. Where's the tylenol?

    Mrs. Shakita(who doesn't know how she is going to survive teaching another kid to drive)

  • Michael3000
    Michael3000

    There's a subtle difference between New York drivers vs. our New Jersey brethren (and sistren): both drive aggressively, but the folks from Jersey do so with suicidal tendencies!

    This is why I take Metro North into work - easier on the blood pressure, general stress level, etc.

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    Ashi, I-95 isn't the interstate route it's the minimum speed limit one must travel-the sooner visitors to PA get that thru their heads the better off we will all be!

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