JW Mother Dying.... Not a Big Deal.... But it Should Be

by Zoos 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • tiki
    tiki

    Allow yourself to grieve. It is the healthful thing to do. Religion may have damaged the life relationship, but it is a common thing that family differences cause separations and bad feelings. Death surfaces buried emotions. Mourn...and move on...life goes on. All we can do is try not to repeat past errors and patterns that caused problems. And we can only be responsible for the actions of ourselves....not the next person.

  • sir82
    sir82

    "Cry not for the mother that you did have but for the mother you should have had."

    +1000

  • blondie
    blondie

    Zoos, I stopped seeing or accepting any contacting with my parents 21 years ago because of their abuse. My situation is a little different since I initiated having no contact with them. But in your case, it is not as if you were literally dead and they could not talk to you; there is no choice then.

    When my father died 13 years ago and my mother 8 years ago, I did not feel much then either and I still don't. They had not shown any kind of healthy to love to me or my siblings. It is no surprise that none of us had contact with either of them since 2001.

    It takes more than a biological connection for love to exist and grow and endure; and a basis of conditional love is not love at all. I have no doubt that you had real love for your mother, but it does not seem she knew how to love unconditionally.

    I understand how your feelings might be confusing now. We are taught that our parents will love us and we will love them, but actions speak louder than words.

    Give it time, Zoos, and let things settle out. Your feelings about your mother will not go away, but they may no longer take center place in your life.

    Love, Blondie

  • iwantoutnow
    iwantoutnow

    Zoos - Its ok to mourn.

    Its ok to mourn your mom's death, and it's ok to mourn the experiences in life you lost, or were stolen from you by the cult.

    If you don't experience some type of mourning, you might have issues down the road that you can't foresee.

    This might be a good time to find someone to talk to who has experience in this area. It may help take a burden off your back, and help you deal with it better. It is not a trivial thing.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    Do the human and compassionate thing. Take the high road even if they will not. Visit, call or whatever you think is appropriate and put them to the test.

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