I talked to my daughter today

by ESTEE 51 Replies latest jw friends

ESTEE

continuing...
More posts to my thread! This is awesome!!! Thanks so much!!!
Brummie wrote:
ESTEE you know you can edit and repost? If you click on the heading of your individual post and then go to the bottom of page you will see the edit button:
Thanks….I appreciate the tip…didn’t know!
Mulan wrote:
I find the way she reacted to be not too unusual. In many ways the JW's are emotionally shut down. They don't really feel their feelings, because they are told how to feel, and what to think……..she knows your love for her is unconditional and she won't forget it.
So true and so sad….They are TOLD what to feel and how to think....I'm directing her to a crack in the wall....
Mrs. Shakita wrote:
You are a wonderful person for not giving up on your daughter. Even if she is shunning you like this, I know that deep down in her subconscious she longs to have a relationship with you. Keep hoping and trying, Estee, maybe someday she will wake up and realize what a fool she has been.
Yes, I believe she loves me….and is too afraid to show it…due to dub-isms…
bikerchic wrote:
it breaks my heart to read this thread yet your positive attitude keeps shinning thorugh! You rock girl! Hang in there!
Thanks for these encouraging words of support…soooo appreciated!
Geraniums…… Being planted in the same pot as the rose, …Wow what a great idea........I think we think alike! I used to use geraniums to calm me down, raising five kids when they would nap I would go out into my geranium garden and poke around, lol. I always felt so much calmer by the time the little buggers woke up.
WooHoo Sista!!! Great minds think alike, me-thinks!!!
rocketman wrote:
You made a good effort Estee. I am not surprised at her reaction, but it's typical for someone who is an active jw. I hope things do improve soon.
Yes, sadly the dubisms have taken over her life…and yes...her reaction is very typical….
manon wrote:
Estee, Keep the faith your love for her will someday draw her back to you just you wait and see never give up hope.
I belive that love will win out over fear…my mommy-love vs. jw fear…hehehe!!!
LyinEyes wrote:
Estee,,,,, I am so sorry you daughter is so miserable and that you and she don't have the relationship that you could have. I just want to tell her what a wonderful mother she has and to please, please never take that for granted. I really feel sorry for both of you , it must be so hard to not be able to share your life with your daughter. I am glad we got out of the borg when we did, so maybe our kids will have the chance to never follow a cult like the JW's who have no real love
GAWD!!! What a sexy new pic you have up!!! You are an incredibly beautiful woman!
Oh…back to Heather! It hurts to know that she has blocked me from her life. It is sooo unnatural …so cruel…and I know that it is nothing personal
The rosebush is a beautiful idea and I wish she knew what it represents to you.
Some day we will laugh about it over a….ummmm….meal!!! LOL!!!
More later!
Love you all!!!
ESTEE
ESTEE

Okay....I'm back!!!
Bendrr wrote:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Estee!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}You're doing the right thing. Never give up.Mike.
Thanks for your support…..and your hugs!!! Lotsa lotsa hugs!!!
breal wrote:
you were willing to risk her rejection in public no less to try to show your love for her and reach out to her
Yes, for her love I would do almost anything….I draw the line at emotional blackmail, though….
respect there boundaries about not contacting them it is a very hard thing to do ….. but by not doing it they feel you are not allowing them to live life the way they need to in order to survive in the organization. Besides it could end up causing a lot of problems for her if another JW say her with you.
For sure... it is hardwired into her…if only she knew….she is set up for failure if she leaves….Sad part is... it doesn’t have to be that way…..
However I do think the idea of leaving flowers for her at work every so often is a lovely one...this way if she ever needs/wants to reach out to you she will know you have not closed the door. Wishing for you to one day have the type of relationship with your daughter that you desire and deserve.
Awwww…..thanks for this loving support, breal…let’s do coffee sometime, okay neighbour?
SheilaM wrote:
Estee: I don't understand what benefit it is to shun your Mother….. My daughter didn't talk to me for over a year.
Awwww…SheilaM…I’m sorry to hear that…..I would not wish this on anyone.Cruel and unusual punishment...
Her guilt is making her stooped.
I don’t know how Heather could have any guilt….really….I do know the guilt comes from the elders never being satisfied…..not ever being good enough in their eyes…..poor girl…She deserves soooo much more outta life!
Read Thunders poem on here called Justice in Hell it will make you smile
Awesome poem...thanks for sharing!!!
garybuss wrote:
It sounds like you have given your daughter the clear message that your door is open to her. That took some courage if you hate rejection as much as I do.
Rejection is hard to take….I kept reminding myself not to take it personally. It is part of her jw brainwash…I realize that, and that helped me cope…Thanks, garybuss.
Prisca wrote:
unfortunately it's the WTS conditioning that is holding her back from expressing her true feelings.
Well put. Emphasis on the “holding her back”….jw limitations.
angelkins wrote:
ex- daughter-in-law who went back …. Her appearance has changed so much since she has been back in. She looks like s***. Not only does she have that pallor you speak of, but her once-beautiful hair looks dead and she has gained an enormous amount of weight.
Sure signs of misery….why can’t they recognize the misery? Oh!....Wait!!! They are TOLD that they are the "happiest people on earthTM"!!!
I feel for you because I have a seven year-old granddaughter. I am heartsick to see what has happened to her and my greatest fear is that she will soon be estranged from my son and me.
Very good chance of that happening!
The very best wishes from my inner goddess to yours!!
Dawn wrote:
I have this very strong feeling that this is not over and you need to keep doing what you are doing. Have patience - it might take a very very long time - but your daugther WILL see the love in you and will respond. Do not give up!
Thank you so much for this encouragement….I really appreciate it!
I wish so much that I had a mother that loved me as much as you love your daughter. I have a 5 year hold daughter now and just hope that I always show her the unconditional love like this.
I suspect that your awareness of this will help you to not let that happen, Dawn…You seem to appreciate your “gift” of having a precious daughter. That is beautiful.
Love you all!!
ESTEE
RAYZORBLADE

ESTEE: our sweet and lovable poster Jesika, has a sister whom I do not know, but if I ever get the opportunity, I owe them both a huge hug.
Jesika had posted more than one time about her sister's comment about NOT playing by the WTBTS rules.
You didn't, which I am SO PROUD OF YOU for. You made the loving gesture to contact her.
You are NOT playing by the WTS rules; she is, thus the responses that took place, speak for themselves.
I have a hunch....and I mean...one of those bizarre 'Rayzorblade' hunches, that she can only hold up this facade for only so long.....and she'll be craving her most dynamic, attractive, beautiful and amazing MOM.
Won't happen in a heartbeat, but I'll bet you....she's thinking and thinking, overtime.
You're an incredible Mom. Your love will WIN - just wait and see.
We'll be here to celebrate with you; if possible, IN PERSON!
(((HEATHER))) Mom loves you like you may never know.
ESTEE

RAYZORBLADE wrote:
I have a hunch....and I mean...one of those bizarre 'Rayzorblade' hunches, that she can only hold up this facade for only so long.....and she'll be craving her most dynamic, attractive, beautiful and amazing MOM. Won't happen in a heartbeat, but I'll bet you....she's thinking and thinking, overtime.
(((((Rayzorblade)))) Here I am cryin' again!!! I'd love to hear more about those bizarre "Rayzorblade" hunches!!!
Love ya!
ESTEE
SheilaM

I don’t know how Heather could have any guilt…

I meant her guilt for not talking to you. Mel, chose not to not because of the dubs it was because Mel knew everything about everything and I was her problem LOL She was miserable treating me who had always loved her and wanted her so badly. Guilt yes guilt for not doing what she KNOWS in her heart is right and damnt the elders.
ESTEE

Argh!!! SheilaM!!!
I totally didn't think that she would feel guilty for shunning me!!! That rips my heart out that she would feel guilty over that. "Because she is doing everything the elders are telling her to do, and if she really believes them.....why would she feel guilt?" was my thinking. Now you have me thinking beyond that....into an area of un-naturalness....the downright un-naturalness of shunning your mother!
Those GAWD AWFUL elders need to be held accountable to someone for ripping families apart!
(((Love you SheilaM)))
ESTEE
RAYZORBLADE

(((ESTEE))) and add a few more (( and )) for added emphasis.
Keep on being Heather's Mom.
Keep on NOT playing by the WTS rules.
It is a hunch, that I think is gonna work. It may not be overnight, but in her head she's thinking it's ridiculous for YOU to be in contact with her re: DF'd etc., well...my darling clementine...you are not a DF'd JW, you are Heather's MOM.
That speaks volumes, an undeniable fact.
You are showing her love that she has never seen before, because your love for her, although omnipresent, is not shrouded by WTS thinking or teaching: it's unadulterated love, and pure as pure can be.
I wonder if anyone at Heather's kingdom hall has sent her any flowers lately?
Probably not. More dandelions on the front lawn I'm sure for everyone to stare at. 'More weeds, geez thanx!'
Keep NOT playing by the WTBTS rules. Heather's gonna notice that YOU are not a DF'd JW, but a mother in her purest and loveliest form.
I could be wrong, but I don't want to be, and I don't think so.
There is something about you that conveys something that Heather needs sooooo badly.
ONLY YOU, can provide it.
Be patient.
Celebrations will be forthcoming. I can feel it, and it may be gradual, but when it happens.....I wanna be in Vangroovy to celebrate.
Big Huge Hugs, to one of my favourite Manitobans
RAYZORBLADE
William Penwell

Dear Estee,
Everything will work out for you. You are doing the right thing.
Your Friend Always,
Will
Swan

Dear Estee,
I am so sorry for the pain you have, but I am so happy for you for having done this. Keep stressing that you are her mother, that you will always be concerned for her, and that the love you feel for her is unconditional.
Unconditional love is our strength and the Watchtower's weakness. Their Christian love is only conditional on devout service to Jehovah. If she commits the slightest infraction they will come down on her like a ton of bricks! The contrast between your love and their love is a powerful tool that you can take advantage of. Now she cannot help but think of you, dwell on you and her, and remember you and all of the things you did for her and the love you showed her growing up.
Good luck!
Tammy
dedalus

What can I say, except, !
Dedalus

I talked to my daughter today

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