Just asked JW wife to quit

by rathernotsay 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • kairos

    My 21 year marriage ended because she chose JWs over our marriage after I became an apostate.

    We both agreed the only way for us to save the marriage was for her to quit or for me to return.
    Neither of those are going to happen...

  • blownaway

    So glad my wife never really bought into the cult. The only thing we differ on is that I like to read and keep up on the cult and she feels like they fucked up enough of our life just forget them.

  • resolute Bandicoot
    resolute Bandicoot

    Hi Rather not, I don't know anything about your wider situation however I would suggest that you buy her some flowers and apologize for being so rash and confess that you were out of line with that demand.

    None of us know exactly what the near future holds for the borg but I think that the writing is on the wall and if we wait patiently all of it's bad deeds will be laid bare. The rank and file are already voting with their wallets because of a growing undercurrent of discontent and attendances are falling in western lands.

    If she would be OK without the cult, just hang in there, and your kids will benefit also.

    The only people who benefit from divorce are the legal parasites

  • rathernotsay

    Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. I never really looked at it like spiritual endangerment as a few have suggested. I've managed to stay relatively niaeve about it all during our 10 years together as I simply think it is along with all other religions a bunch of fairy tales. Shes always largely hidden it from me aswell... by that I mean there is no thanks given at my table... well as long as I'm there anyway.

    The reason I felt I should ask her as it was me that gave up my last name so to speak to allow her back in. Very brief explanation... we were young she was rebelling, she got pregnant, she got defellowshipped, no friends, no family, no support = miserable... didnt want my baby mama to feel like that so went and signed a marriage certificate... no wedding at all. So I gave it up for her and made that sacrifice I wanted to know if she would return the favor. But it could potentially save our marriage aswell, I feel like the main reason I want out is were not even friends anymore and haven't been for a long time and the jw thing is a major reason why... we just see the world so differently.

    As for having my legal ducks in a row, I should be fine really (just fyi were from the south Pacific), I dont want to take custody but have a shared arrangement, and as we are and were a young family of 5 we never really gained much financially so theres nothing really there to split as in property etc. I'm hoping to keep things amicable moving forward so we can sort most of this situation without lawyers and the courts involvement... but time will tell on that one.

  • Gorbatchov

    Sect. What a damage they make with their uber behavior and double morality.

    Take care for your self and try to rescue the one you love.


  • smiddy3


    I`m curious about how old your kids are and how you feel about them going out witnessing ,do they want to go ? or are they just doing what mum says .?

    And how much influence do you have in their religious training ?

    Do you have any say in how much time they spend at the KH ?

    Speaking from my point of view I would be restricting how much time they are being brainwashed by this cult as it`s going to be very detrimental to their growing up and coping with life in the real world .

    Do you really want your children to be brought up in this cult religion? without giving them an alternative ?

  • snare&racket

    You are in the scenario I was so afraid to be in. I may say I have come out ahead unmarried and without children from the JW’s.... non complex. But that would be wrong, the purpose of life is .... children. You’ve had one. Now make sure every decision, every direction you go, every motive, is the protection and preparation of your child for life.

    The witnesses can be overcome.... this is the message of JW.Net. It is easier now than ever before and kids seek truth far more naturally than adults.

    Be there as a dad. Be a good dad. Be a good human being. Show them how they CAN live.

  • blownaway

    I have watched several videos where a husband told his wife that he did not believe. Mark and Cora, Christian and Katja and a few others. The wife got upset every time. I think very calm asking to talk and ask the questions that made you question in the first place at what ever pace she seems to be OK with. Don't think because you are at a point that someone else can catch up over night. Take is slow, the facts are on your side. All you have to do is ask questions. People here will give you good questions to as that are not confrontational.

  • caves

    You act like giving your last name to someone is the greatest gift you can possibly give mankind. She owes you nothing for the last name.

    You barley speak about your kids, I feel you are just looking for approval to leave.

    Sounds like your heading in the direction you want and need to.

    I get it, married to young. She changed. Love is gone, or was it ever there, sortof thing.

    Are you still seeing that other person? If so what are you waiting for?

  • Vidiot

    re. rathernotsay's post...

    All fundamentalist religions are - at their core - fear-based.

    How can that be anything but "spiritual endangerment"?

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