Did being raised a Jehovah's Witnesses result in psychological damage? An interesting read in the New York Times.

by Balaamsass2 26 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • Balaamsass2
    Balaamsass2

    Interesting read in the New York Times book review. Food for thought on a subject 3rd Gen and I have discussed between ourselves and with our daughter. In our case, the answer is yes. Talking with other Ex-JWs on the phone and in-person...the answer is yes. What about you? Quote: "But the stunted psychology of those raised in extreme religion is another problem altogether. For these children, there is no obvious forfeiture of common sense or flight from existential chaos that informs adult conversion. Rather, they experience a totalizing indoctrination that so severely limits the formation of an adult psychology that many don’t ever achieve maturity in the way secular society conceives of it, a state of empowered capability that permits complex life choices, a state in which contradictory ideas can be held in tension without psychic recoil. Instead, the fundamentalist child, raised on fear and limitation, lives a life of diminished options, constrained by strict dualisms: black and white, good and bad, God and Satan, and (perhaps most alarmingly for the broader culture) us and them." end quote.

    Bamm.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/01/books/review/leaving-the-witness-amber-scorah.html

  • new boy
    new boy

    Living in a world that I believed was going to end any day for over 50 years....to try and live through a carnage that would cost billions of people there lives and to pray for the day the vast majority of the Earths population will be rotting on the ground with birds eating out their eye balls.....

    no id say I’m completely normal lol

  • 3rdgen
    3rdgen

    The attempt by Watchtower is to keep its followers isolated and ignorant. This is accomplished by requiring busywork and indoctrination sessions as well as demonizing secular association, reading, and higher education.

    No wonder that when a person leaves JWs they often have stunted social skills and limited decision-making ability.

    When we left I was a 60-year-old with the "worldly" experience of an 18- year-old. I'm still trying to "grow up" yet I often find myself doing things to nurture the little girl that was physically abused and forced to behave like a mini-adult.

  • Biahi
    Biahi

    I will carry the emotional scars from being raised a JW for the rest of my life, and I’ll be 60 this year. I left in 1983.

  • sparky1
    sparky1

    "I often ...nurture the little girl that was physically abused and forced to behave like a mini-adult." - 3rdgen

    When I was in the fifth grade, Christmas was a big deal for my home room class. My mother never came to school to explain the holidays or the flag salute. My siblings and I were left to explain our 'Christian stand' as Jehovah's Witnesses by ourselves. I was so frightened and physically sick to explain about Christmas to the teacher that she took me outside into the hallway. She urged me to 'calm down, relax and don't worry'. 'You see', she said, 'we have something in common. I am Jewish and I don't have Christmas, either. Everything will be fine.' I knew if I didn't explain 'my stand' properly, my mother would slap me around and eventually, Jehovah would destroy me. To me, it seemed as though my teacher cared more for me than my own mother. Yes, I would say that many raised as 'mini-adult' Jehovah's Witnesses have deep psychological scars.

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    Christmas, flag, birthdays, Halloween all made us different. I had a mother who fudged on bdays and Halloween so I did get to do a bit. The civil disobedience from Vietnam saved my younger siblings on the flag, but not me. A buddies mom gave me the family Christmas experience. She was quite a good woman, as was his stepdad. I was almost another son

    The drinking, and wild times came later but I was inhibited, not completely bad. I do sometimes wish I had taken opportunity with a couple 3 girls but have had a lusty marriage with few regrets. The old road not taken, and where it could lead

    Military was another game changer. Buddies went, I lucked out and didn't. My personality (part religious training, part easy going and thoughtful ) would have put me and others at risk. Aside: I find it amusing that trump is a big blowhard on these things with his history, despite my supporting most of his actions

  • Diogenesister
    Diogenesister
    For these children, there is no obvious forfeiture of common sense or flight from existential chaos that informs adult conversion.

    She's a real blue stocking, is Amber, but can someone smarter than me explain this sentence please??! 😜 (genuine question!)

    (In answer to your question BaalamsAss most definitely. I believe I'm about 20 year's behind my contemporaries in terms of emotional maturity!)

  • APieceOfShitNamedTate
    APieceOfShitNamedTate

    @Diogenesister, this is how I understood it (I rephrased it):

    "But the stunted psychology of those raised in extreme religion is another problem altogether. For these children, there is no obvious lack of common sense or ignorance of life's ups and downs that we all experience in our journey to adulthood. Rather, they experience a totalizing indoctrination that so severely limits the formation of an adult psychology that many don’t ever achieve maturity in the way secular society conceives of it, a state of empowered capability that permits complex life choices, a state in which contradictory ideas can be held in tension without psychic recoil. Instead, the fundamentalist child, raised on fear and limitation, lives a life of diminished options, constrained by strict dualisms: black and white, good and bad, God and Satan, and (perhaps most alarmingly for the broader culture) us and them."

    The point I got from that sentence and the one about "maturity in the way secular society conceives of it", is that people indoctrinated in fundamentalist Christianity and other cults and extreme religions may appear to be pretty normal on the surface. Most adults appear to have some measure of common sense. Most adults have faced the harsh realities of life such as sickness and death. They appear to be able to handle such things with a measure of maturity and rationality, but that's where it stops for cult members. Growing up I always thought that the elders were the most brilliant men walking the earth. I thought I would grow up and be just like them. Then I found out TTATT, and realized that not only are the elders complete idiots, but that I'm one too. I'm still undoing the damage.

    Sure the elders and other cult members have an appearance of intelligence, but let an elder catch you watching a scary movie. I was told by an elder that watching certain movies or listening to certain music would subject me to demonic attack. He then told me that if that ever happens, make sure the lights are on and say Jehovah's name out loud. I've been told that cigarettes would have the same effect, and that smoking is just like practicing spiritism. I grew up listening to Local Needs talks about pornography at least once every two or three months, but not a single one of those talks ever addressed pedophilia. I grew up asking elders for advice on how to make a living, and was told not to be concerned with such things because Armageddon would come soon. I even asked one elder about his job, and he told me not to get too involved in Satan's world. I wanted to say, "If your job is so bad and so wrapped up in Satan's world, why do you do it? Why don't you just quit?" But of course I didn't do that. I just dropped the subject like the brainwashed idiot that I was. Fundamentalist Christianity takes people that have so much potential, so much personality, so much to offer the world, and turns them into a bunch of superstitious morons.

    Let's review: It's a cult!!! (I've always wanted to do that.)


  • APieceOfShitNamedTate
    APieceOfShitNamedTate

    a state in which contradictory ideas can be held in tension without psychic recoil.

    By the way, I like how that sentence addresses cognitive dissonance. Most normal people are capable of holding and analyzing opposing ideas without their heads exploding. Not so in Watchtower land. You either hate Michael Jackson's guts, or you're a devil worshiping pagan that likes imitating the dance moves from Thriller.

  • Balaamsass2
    Balaamsass2

    3rd Gen and I are retired now, with a home and squeak by on Social Security from 40 years of work.

    We swap stories of some of the bizarre things we experienced at the hands of our "godly" JW parents. To this day we still have some bad dreams based on childhood memories of physical abuse by our parents who got into Alcoholic rages after many meetings and constantly reminded us how bad children in the bible were stoned to death, drowned in floods, or mauled by Bears. (That picture of the little girl on a tricycle being killed by Jehovah in the back of the Paradise book was shown to us many times)

    As an example of born in Cult thinking.: My young pioneer JW wife #1 was horrified in the 80s when she saw my paycheck deductions for life insurance, disability Ins., a 401K, and an IRA. My attending night classes at the local JR College on non-meeting nights (work-related) and saving to buy a home was the last straw! She had a hissy fit and accused me of apostasy, "spiritual endangerment" and a lack of faith that "Armageddon was just around the corner". She promptly relayed her fears to the elders who counseled me about working in the "Vortex of Satan's system" and the need for "a simple eye" and "living simply in expectation of the end". She left soon after to pioneer.

    An IRA, insurance, and a 401k?- 100% normal adult behavior for any gainfully employed non-cult US adult was "Satanic" to JW elders...in California.

    And what happened to the financial genius cult leaders I was counseled by? One Elder died broke living with his "worldly" father-in-law, the other one became unemployed in his 70s after 10+ years working free for the WT Society. His golden years spent in an old rundown mobile home supported by his wife's Avon sales.

    My ex-wife #1? She pioneered, went where the "need was great" and returned a homeless California bag lady in her 60s waiting for Armageddon..any minute. -I guess"Jehovah provided" better than that Satanic IRA, 401k, or materialistic faithless husband.

    It is hard to even explain any of this to anyone not raised in the JW cult- to an outsider.... it isn't believable.

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